Fortune Smiles Upon Thee

a box full of junk

Welcome to the only weekly feature that is more unpredictable than the weather.  It’s time for The Nest to leave another post all to chance in the next fascinating edition of Random Image Inspiration!  The Randomator must have been full of low seeds this morning…

13, 1, 15, 22

The 13th post in my Reader was this one by Ghost

The 1st word in that post is “well”

The 15th word in that post is “way”

Putting “well way” into Google Images brought this up as the 22nd result…

“Live long and prosper?”  Maybe if you’re a Vulcan…

As I’ve stated numerous times here before, I don’t believe in luck, either good or bad.  There is only the strange, wonderful and often unpredictable randomness of the universe.  But many of my so-called fellow humans are at least somewhat superstitious.  And wishing someone good luck is just another civilized pleasantry we often bestow upon someone facing a challenge, often out of a sense of insincere support.

Break a leg, pal!

My favorite instance of this bullshit practice is when you walk into a casino.  Once the host has noticed that you look way too fucking old to need your ID checked, they will usually smile and wish you “good luck!” as you enter their money sucking lair.  Yeah, right.  The more bad luck I have, the more I lose, the more your bosses take in, and the better the chance you might not get sent out the egress in the next round of layoffs.  At least be honest about it and cheerfully express that you hope I get taken to the cleaners…

Security! Our host is telling the customers we’re going to bend them over again!

Speaking of gambling and good luck… once upon a time, I was a regular down at ye olde bingo hall (That’s how I got Uncle Sam, after all).  Yes, that den full of nasty old ladies, cigarette smoke thick enough to cut with a Ginsu knife, and of course more useless, gaudy trinkets than you’d find at a bazaar in downtown Timbuktu.  Some of the more superstitious players literally had to have a whole damned table to themselves so they could spread out 69 cards, fifteen pounds worth of Mardi Gras beads, and an entire Goodwill store shelf full of fucking Troll dolls!

Yeah, while you’re busy playing rubbing the hair of your dollies, Granny just won the coverall you missed.

But hey, The Nest has its own Troll doll.  And we also have plenty of lucky unicorns.  Put a lucky Troll and a lucky unicorn together and…

You aren’t allowed to have this much luck even in Ireland.

And then there are all the other kinds of lucky charms you can find outside of a teeth-rotting breakfast cereal.  The genetic mutations called four leaf clovers (A few leaves short of truly being lucky, as Fuzzywig might say).  Lucky pennies, which are useless for anything other than clogging up the drains of mall fountains these days.  And the oddest one of them all, the rabbit’s foot.  Carrying around a little piece of synthetically manufactured fur is not going to make your fortune in life any better…

Yeah, that foot sure wasn’t lucky for me…. bastard!!!

Do you have a lucky star?  You might have been born under one many moons ago, but good luck (ha!) finding it now in the milky black dullness of the light polluted night sky…

Gee, I can’t imagine why nobody takes an interest in space exploration anymore…

And then there’s that Care Bear from the original 80’s group of characters, Good Luck Bear.  The big green huggable ursine that had a MARIHUANA leaf four leaf clover on its tummy.  I remember my sisters taped The Care Bears Movie II off HBO back in the day and watched the crap out of it.  The silly plot involved some jerk named Dark Heart who didn’t like sharing or caring, so he started kidnapping the bears and their cousins, probably to use them as test subjects for an experimental suppository.  You know who one of the very first Care Bears was to get hauled off into the villain’s dungeon early in the movie?  Yep, Good Luck Bear.  I don’t think your name fits, dude…

Oh, geez. Being turned into a Chia Pet really is bad luck…

I shall go forth and conquer another randomly issued prompt next Wednesday….

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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21 Responses to Fortune Smiles Upon Thee

  1. the things what came with breakfast cereals were a rip off… the f..ing ring what should make me invisible never worked…but I had a lot of bad luck with it…

    • All the good prizes were given out a long time ago. I always hated that the prize in Cracker Jack boxes was some stupid sticker or fake tattoo…. where was the superhero decoder ring?

  2. crimsonowl63 says:

    I generally use the terms for “good luck” with a heavy dose of sarcasm. I also say “Good luck with that”, again with sarcasm. I’m not a believer in luck either.
    My daughter is VERY superstitious and I say it sounding sincere with her. I humor her on this craziness. Even though she knows I am not superstitious.

  3. ghostmmnc says:

    Well – way … cool my post came up again. Good thing I’m not superstitious about the number 13!
    My daughter and I went to play bingo a few times. It was fun, but luck wasn’t with us. When we went to Vegas we had a little bit of luck when my husband won $100 on the slot machine. I still wish people good luck, and could be it helps. 🙂

    • That’s funny, because I didn’t even catch that the number that drew your post was 13… and the photo wound up being about good luck! I love that number since it’s part of my birthdate… and two of my sisters as well as four of us who have worked nights at Mecca for a long time also have birthdays on the 13th!

      I loved playing bingo, but went on a long losing streak as soon as I bought my house and had more real bills to pay… so that ended that!

  4. Not superstitious here but I do remember when I was young being given a “good luck” rabbit foot and thinking it was hideous to have a bony, fur covered FOOT as something giving me good luck. On top of that it had been dyed pink. Needless to say I managed to “oops I guess I lost it somewhere” and THAT was my one and only encounter with a good luck charm. I’ve been lucky in my life though – I could easily have died several times over considering my behavior in my younger days! Maybe that pink rabbit’s foot DID give me luck after all??

    Pam

  5. Google can stalk you all over the net but comes up with a ‘good luck’ theme for images? Clearly artificial intelligence needs some work with that algorithm.

  6. Ally Bean says:

    Better to be lucky than smart, as they say. You may not believe in luck, but does luck believe in you? That is the question?

  7. draliman says:

    Good Luck Bear looks kinda cute on the packaging. I’d be well pissed off to open the box and discover he actually looks like a constipated shrubbery.

  8. Haha! I remember that Chia Care Bear! And I love that pic of the skateboarder falling down, I actually laughed out loud. Yes that’s mean but hey it’s funny. I understand that the Nest has it’s own Troll, but more than one or even two is just creepy. Sorry Nest Troll, but I’m a Shadow fan if anyone hasn’t noticed, lol.

    • Shadow would be a much luckier ornament for bingo than a stupid troll anyway since he could use the power of his mind to control the balls. He’d expect a hefty cut of the profits, though…

  9. It’s interesting how things evolve. I remember when a chia pet was a children’s plant toy. Now you’re supposed to eat the seeds instead of grow them to try to keep your colon clean. 😉

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