We’re only two weeks away from The Big Day, which you would know if you were following our Shelf Critter Advent Calendar vignettes each morning. Or I guess you could read it on the big sign at Mecca’s front door reminding you how many more shopping days you have left to buy gifts your family will hate. Well, let’s crank this calendar up to eleven and see what happens…
Oh geez, a big ugly Troll! That oughta scare the kids…
TROLL: Good! That will get them out of my hair… I mean, off of my lawn!
You mean the grass around your park bench? Since you’re here, you may as well tell us what Christmas means to a Troll like you…
TROLL: Christmas means helping out the less fortunate in life!
Like, uhhhhh, yourself?
TROLL: Precisely! Now, can anybody spare a dime for an over-educated, under-employed Troll who’s down on his luck?
TROLL: Ooooh! Ouch!
BYSTANDER: (Tossing a penny) Get a job, you lousy bum!!!!
TROLL: I should have (OW!) asked for paper currency instead! (Yikes!) The liquor store owner hates it when I buy my (OW!) brown bag wine with all pennies anyway….. (OW!)
Evil Squirrel's Nest 
I guessed it that he would say that… they are guys from another dime-nsion, right?
A dime-ension of bad hair…
Well I suppose Troll knows his liquor store well enough that they hate taking change and not paper money, lol.
I’m sure they know Troll well there. As does the billy club the owner keeps behind the counter when his pennies don’t add up…
He’d need a dump truck to get all the pennies to the liquor store to buy even a BAD bottle of something to cure his Pre-Christmas blues!
Pam
He could always look for bottles in the dumpster with a final swig in them. If alcohol is like potato chips, the best stuff always ends up on the bottom!
Ha…in the careful what you ask for category.
He should get with the program and get a credit card swiper… the future of begging is cashless.
Make sure his cell phone is something from this millennial though. 😈
Poor Troll never seems to come out on top…
Every day is a literal and figurative bad hair day for Troll…
Troll, I know it’s in your nature to troll, but maybe you should consider giving it up for new year’s. 😉
By the time he wakes up from his hangover on New Years, he won’t remember what it was he was supposed to give up…
Poor Troll. Although he would get worse treatment in my neighborhood. Anyone who saw him lurking about would call the cops on him and them post warnings about him on social media, describing him as a hobo. He’d never get enough change to buy his booze!
Poor guy. And I guess he wouldn’t get any booze in jail either. Probably not even a phone call, though I doubt anyone on the Shelf would bail him out…