Shelf Critter Advent Calendar – Day 12

The Nest is counting down the days until Christmas with our very own special Advent calendar featuring my Shelf critters, who are working off their community service punishments by appearing in this series.  Let’s open the door for the Twelfth of Never and see if anything better than Donny Osmond can be found there…

Oh, it’s Zac the overly medicated squirrel.

ZAC: OMG!  People!  Hello!  Howdy!  Wazzup?  Howya all doing?  I’m fine!  Great!  Ecstatic!  So happy happy joy joy!!!!  I think I just wet my fur!!!

Good grief, calm yourself down and don’t mess up your space on the calendar because we’re just going to reuse it again next year.  Well, what does Christmas mean to you, Zac?

ZAC: Happiness!  Happy! Happy! Happy!!!!  The happiest most glad-arific and super duper time of the year!!!!  Christmas makes me more than happy!  More than more than happy!!!!  YAY!!!!

ZAC: I’m so so so happy it’s totally the Christmas season!  I’m holly and jolly by golly Miss Molly!!!  I’ve just maxed out all of my credit cards, been invited to ten holiday parties on the same evening, have to get Secret Santa gifts for the entire office and my bowling team, and I almost got killed at Mecca trying to grab the last Baby Shark toy!!!  Fun Fun Fun!  Happy Happy Happy!!!!

LUNA: You look like you could use a hot, steaming cup of STF… I mean, coffee.  Drink up…

ZAC: Glug Glug Glug!!!!  Wow, this coffee is awesome!!!  It tastes like shit and I love it!!!  Is that peppermint spice I taste?  Yum Yumma Yummy!!!

LUNA: Actually, I laced it with arsenic… ten times the lethal dose.

ZAC: Coolio!!!  I’m lovin’ it!!!  Glug Glug Glug!!! Happy Christmas to all and to all a happy slappy night!!!


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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17 Responses to Shelf Critter Advent Calendar – Day 12

  1. we agree… that’s the taste of coffe… but we need it anyway… Happy Happy Christmas!!!! (wanna see the faces of the credit card guys when they will not see one cent, because of the arsenic thing LOL)

  2. No signs of depression from the HAPPY occupant of Door #12 that’s for sure. Wait until that coffee kicks in – he’ll be hanging from the ceiling!


    • He might be. They didn’t study how Prozac reacts when taken along with arsenic…

      • So Prozac is the reason for that overly jolly little squirrel? Funny that. I’ve taken Prozac and overall it made me only slightly less depressed than my usual go-to well of blackness depression. Are you SURE that the raccoon who is always high (I’m blanking on his name, sorry…I didn’t take my non-Prozac today and it’s RAINING here) didn’t slip a little ‘additive’ into that shit drink (which was advertised as coffee, but wasn’t)? I knew (don’t know any NOW) stoners ‘in the day’ who put ground weed in EVERYTHING. You had to be careful about accepting anything they ‘baked’. That squirrel looks a bit stoned, if you ask me. Or like he took some “Infinite Hour Energy” (aka 5 hour energy drink)…

      • Zac may be taking more than the usual dosage to get his artificial high. I think he’s too wound up to be on Fuzzywig’s good stuff. As for the infinite energy drinks, if he were taking those like all of the Millennials I work with on overnight do… then he’d have spent the whole scene in the bathroom. I predict a very high rate of kidney disease in about 30-40 years….

  3. Zac is so modern, he is so positive. Great attitude! I like this this little HappyHappy.

  4. I think Zav might be related to Baby Kermit here in my office. That’s how she sounds, all day, every day….

  5. Clearly, a morning critter. 🥱

  6. draliman says:

    That’s never going to be enough arsenic to shut him up…

  7. Trisha says:

    Normally I am against squirrel poisoning but that much energy and cheer around this not so wonderful time of year would be pretty damn annoying! And I doubt it will even slow Zac down anyway.

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