Shelf Critter Advent Calendar – Day 14

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.  And thanks to The Nest, Christmas is beginning to look a lot like a fucked up mess!  This year’s holiday blasphemy is brought to you by the Shelf Critter Advent Calendar!  It’s Day 14, so let’s open up today’s Pandora’s box and see what it unleashes on the world…

Hey, it’s Rainbow Donkey!  This would be a red letter day on The Nest, you know, if it were 2013…

RAINBOW DONKEY: And to think, I was big before rainbow unicorns became commercially cool.

Yeah, what a coincidence.  So, Mr. Rainbow Donkey, what does Christmas mean to a critter like you?

RD: Aw, you know how much I love pretty and colorful things.  Check this out…

RD: Is that not the coolest Christmas decoration you ever saw?

Well…. OK, I admit.  That tinsel unicorn is pretty snazzy.  So you’re all about decking the halls for the holidays, huh?

RD: Who me?  Nah, I’m too lazy to decorate.  I only bought this rainbow unicorn ornament for practical purposes.

Practical purposes?  What is practical about a giant unicorn decoration made by sweatshop kids in China?

RD: I’ll let you figure that out while I sneak out and pay a visit to Mitzi.  She just sent me a selfie wearing only stockings…

But your wife!!!  What will she say when she finds out….!?!?

SPARKLEPONY: Ugh!  I just had that horrible nightmare about the glue factory again!  Rainbow Donkey, are you there!?!?  (Turns her head)  Oh, well, at least someone can sleep tonight.  Remind me to give you a full body wax treatment in the morning, you’re really chafing my hindquarters with all of that fuzz, mister!

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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10 Responses to Shelf Critter Advent Calendar – Day 14

  1. I don’t know who has crocheted RD, but she must be professional making these critters, so great.

  2. draliman says:

    Okay, further to my comment on your other post, maybe tinsel rainbow unicorn DOES know what he’s let himself in for. And he’s grabbing it with both horns. If you get my drift.

  3. Trisha says:

    I don’t usually cheer for adulterers but I’m glad Rainbow Donkey found a way to have some holiday fun!

    • I can’t believe I wound up turning RD into a cheater and Sparklepony into a domineering nag…. but it’s fun to watch them play off each other. Even if they don’t play WITH each other…

  4. Ahhh the power of control over relationships is a heady feeling huh? RD, Sparklepony and Rainbow Tinsel Unicorn – a threesome perhaps? Just wait until the Bimbocorn finds out!

    Pam

  5. Sparkle isn’t everything RD. Just saying.

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