Shelf Critter Advent Calendar – Day 15

Are you having a holly jolly Christmas?  If so, then The Nest will be sure to put a damper on your holiday roll with another depressing peek behind a door in our Shelf Critter Advent Calendar!  Today is the 15th, so beware the Ides of December…

Well, if our presence isn’t blessed with the one and only narcissist umbreon Shadow.  Geez, they couldn’t even fit his pointy ears inside of the door…

SHADOW: I can hear you quite clearly out there, pitiful human.  DO NOT MOCK ME!!!

Well, since you’re such a font of lofty knowledge, why don’t you enlighten us cretins about what Christmas means to you?

SHADOW: Christmas?  You mean that silly tradition you terrestrial critters (doing Dr. Evil air quotes) “celebrate” each year where you all go into debt for the zero sum game of reciprocity, all while stressing yourselves out to the maximum while also calling it the most wonderful time of the year?  You mean that Christmas?

Well, if we aren’t full of cynicism and sarcasm on this joyous occasion.  Get into the spirit, Shadow!  Look, we all chipped in to get you a stocking this year!

SHADOW: Despite my warning, you continue to mock me!  This is why I try to limit my exposure to lesser beings such as yourself.

Isn’t it cute?

SHADOW: It most certainly is not.  It looks hideous, and you will remove it from the chimney with care AT ONCE!

But Shadow, don’t you know we lesser beings like to put gifts and treats in stockings?  You should see what’s inside yours… that part of the joy of the holiday!

Yooooooooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

MITZI: Like, Merry Christmas and a happy Yul Brenner to you!

SHADOW: Get this dimwitted bimbo out of my stocking immediately!!! Or I’ll…… uhmmm…..

MITZI: Awsies!  Like, is that a Pikachu in your pocket, or are you just totally happy to see Mitzi?  Want me to sit on your lap while I lick your candy cane?

SHADOW: I’m getting that strange feeling inside of my Pokeballs again…. could I please have the lump of coal instead?

Sorry, naughty boy.  No refunds or exchanges….

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
This entry was posted in Advent Calendars and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Shelf Critter Advent Calendar – Day 15

  1. Shadow may be hopeless if the appearance of Mitzi in his stocking doesn’t cover him in Christmas spirit (or something similar).

    Pam

    • Mitzi is to Shadow what Big Scrat is to Snuggle Bear…. but of course, Mitzi has a way of finding the joy buzzers of even the most asexual of critters. Shadow is going to enjoy Christmas whether he wants to or not!

  2. mydangblog says:

    Mitzi is a glitter bomb of happiness–who could resist?!

  3. FINALLY!!! Shadow my hero! Lol

  4. I will NEVER EVER tire of “pokeballs” Oh my heck!!! Now just to clarify something for this old broad who was born perhaps centuries BEFORE that whole Pokemon craze thingie…. Umbreon (did I spell that right?) is one of THOSE, right? An evil overlord kind? Doesn’t Shadow know that sublimation is bad for his pokeballs? Backing that stuff up in there will lead to nothing good. Which might be fine with him..

    • I don’t really understand the Pokemon thing either (I’m one generation before it came out), but I come across the characters all the time, and the umbreon is one of my favorites, which was why I bought Shadow. I’m sure he gets his blue Pokeballs flushed often enough in private, though that’s a scene for an episode that will hopefully never get published….

  5. EEK! A smart guy like you shouldn’t have to deal with that stocking stuffer!

  6. Lady Mitzi has a special gift to make everyone, and everywhere happy.

  7. draliman says:

    There’s never a bimbo in my Christmas stocking. I ask and I ask…

  8. Trisha says:

    It’s looking very unlikely that Mitzi will make it through the holiday season without getting knocked up again! Perhaps half of a new critter is stirring in Shadow’s Pokeballs right now….

Jabber Away...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s