It’s getting closer and closer to Christmas! That can only mean that our peeks behind the curtain of the Shelf Critter Advent Calendar are getting even more and more disturbed and demented. I would be willing to bet that what’s behind Door 16 is anything but sweet…
Oh no, it’s those annoying brats, the Squirrel Children! Shouldn’t your asses be in school right now?
SQUIRREL CHILD 1: Haven’t you looked out the window, mister?
CHILD 2: It’s snowing!
CHILD 3: A whole inch!
ALL CHILDREN: SNOW DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You’ve got to be kidding me! Back in my day, we walked to school in ten inches of snow….
CHILD 4: We know… uphill, both ways!
LITTLEST: You’re as full of shit as our Dad!
Who in the fuck taught you kids that kind of language? Well, I might as well go ahead and ask… what does Christmas mean to you squirrel kids?
CHILD 1: Playing with all our cool toys Santa brings us!
CHILD 2: This Robofox is awesome!!!
CHILD 3: I’m so glad I asked Santa for it!
CHILD 4: Liar! I’m the one who asked for this!
LITTLEST: It’s my turn to press the button!!! Or I’m telling Mommy!!!!
SQUIRREL DAD: The kids sure seem to be enjoying their new toy!
SQUIRREL MOM: It’s giving me a migraine.
SQUIRREL DAD: Well, I guess I could remove the batteries when they’re not looking.
SQUIRREL MOM: It would be so much easier to just murder them all and bury their bodies beneath the crawlspace.
SQUIRREL DAD: Don’t you think that’s a bit extreme dear? I mean, they are our precious offspring.
SQUIRREL MOM: I’ll let you make more.
SQUIRREL DAD: I’ll go get the shovel…
Evil Squirrel's Nest 
oh my what a fab christmas!!!
Yep, and the best part is that you can spend more money on gifts for yourself…
HAHAHA…..Mom and Dad Squirrel seem to have things under control in that household (or is it treehold??!!).
Pam
It’s definitely a nut house. I don’t think the parents or the kids are in their right minds…
Your Christmas tales are somehow different from the traditional ones. This tale shows how there is different solutions to solve problem.
That is a very interesting take on this! Leave it to my critters to think outside the box…
Funny how some peeps feel the same way about the neighborhood vandal. 😈
Just remember that vandal may have come from a troubled home like the squirrel children. You should treat him with sympathy!
Every squirrel home is troubled. Although it’s rare to see the kiddos around the ‘hood making mischief or anything else, come to think of it. Maybe the parents stash shovels into those nut hidey holes.
And art imitates life once again. I BET the squirrel parents aren’t the only ones wishing to murder their offspring through the long winter’s break from school. Another in the long list of reasons why I never procreated. The result wouldn’t have had a prayer and they’d NEVER have found the body either…. 😉 .
Life is cheap on the Shelf…
LOL! Well, that isn’t where I expected that story to go! I guess my imagination just isn’t dark enough to think like Squirrel Mom. I don’t quite want to murder my youngest yet, although it’s tempting to throw all his shit out on the lawn and change the locks!
Wow, those kids are just eager to cause some serious damage aren’t they? lol
Wow, I had no idea squirrel mommies and daddies could be such heartless critters! I’ll never look at another squirrel the same after this 😛