Good Sports

a box full of junk

If you think your day is mixed up, well, you should try figuring out what’s going on Wednesdays here at The Nest!  That’s because it’s the day we fire up the ol’ possum shit powered Randomator and do some hocus pocus that helps bring into focus another scintillating edition of Random Image Inspiration.  Round and around and around she goes, where she’ll stop, who the fuck knows…..?

16, 49, 7, 78

The 16th post in my Reader was this one by Marilyn

The 49th word in that post is “it”

The 7th word in that post is “year”

Images 78 and 79 (Not to be confused with Questions 67 and 68) were all words… which I could have used, but the first true image result jumped out at me!

Putting “it year” into Google Images brought this up as the 80th result…

Now presenting the Norm Peterson Award for the most sportsmanlike player in the Professional Beer Pong Association… legendary cupmaster, Bud Weiser!

BUD: And the winner of the award is……. Timothy Tapper!!!

The camera cuts to Timothy in the audience, showing genuine shock at his victory by pointing his fingers to his chest and mouthing the words “I won?” to those around him who are politely applauding as the flashing signs is directing them to do.

Bud shakes Timothy’s hand and congratulates him as the newfound winner steps behind the podium and marvels at the trophy he had never gotten to hold before.

TIMOTHY: Wow, this is quite a shock!  I’ve played in the PBPA for 15 years now, was nominated for the Norm Award 15 times…. and only now do I finally get to….. wow, I’ve always win this trophy!

BUD: There’s nobody more deserving than you, chief!

TIMOTHY: All that hard work… I’ve been practicing my beer pong game since I was three!  This is truly a dream realized!  To be recognized by the league and my fellow pongers as the most sportsmanlike player in the game!  I’ve waited for the day I could hoist this coveted trophy over my head and read my name engraved on the side…. “To The League’s Most Sportsmanlike Player, Charlie Chugger, this trophy so honors….

A loud “WOOOOHOOOO!!!!” pierces the auditorium, and awake any audience members who long ago fell asleep during the ceremony.  Running up to the stage is a wild man with a messy goatee raising his arms the whole way down the aisle in an attempt to pump up the crowd and draw attention to himself…

CHARLIE: (Swiping the trophy from Timothy’s hands) I’ll take that, Loser!  I knew there was no way they’d give such an awesome award to some douchenozzle like you!  Putz!  Hey, time to get a selfie of ol’ Charlie and his new swag!  Say “Fifteen Time Winner Charlie the Champion!!!” (Click!)

TIMOTHY: How very sporting of you, Charlie.

CHARLIE: Yeah, bow down to your master, chump!  Hold on, I need to edit you out of this selfie… don’t want to lose any of my 50 million followers on Tweeter.  There, now your face is covered by a poop emoji!  #Winning!  I’ll leave you to cry in your hanky now, doofus!  Try not to stink up the joint so much next year, ‘kay?

Charlie struts backstage while giving the “call me” sign to a couple of supermodels sitting in the front row…

TIMOTHY: What happened?  Why did you announce my name when I obviously got overlooked yet again.

BUD: I was so sure you’d won, I didn’t even look inside the envelope.  Don’t worry (slaps Timothy’s back so hard he spits his gum out onto the podium) you’ll get ’em next year, chief!


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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11 Responses to Good Sports

  1. Looks like most awards shows lately – full of mistakes…….OOPS!


  2. You know — my husband who was a serious drinker for many years — didn’t know what beer pong is. I tried to explain it and I couldn’t really. I would have needed a bear and a ping-pong ball. Thank you for the call out. I still need to explain beer pong to Garry. Maybe diagrams?

    • It’s only really become popular in this century. We even have a beer pong gift set for $10 at Mecca you can give to someone you don’t really like much for the holidays! Nothing says Christmas like the gift of getting shit-faced drunk playing with ping pong balls…

  3. yep, how very sporting of you Charlie LOL

  4. Sounds like “Timmy” needs to find a new sport.

  5. draliman says:

    I Googled “beer pong”. Look like it is a real thing after all, so why not have awards. It would be the most interesting event at the Olympics, though I guess Charlie is a shoe-in for winner…

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