Another day, another holler from a mystery critter who will no doubt ruin your holiday season. It’s time to open up today’s WTF Surprise in The Nest’s Shelf Critter Advent Calendar. Let’s see if 21 gives us blackjack, or just makes us want to slapjack…
Well, if it isn’t Chip the squirrel… the so-called only sane critter on the Shelf.
CHIP: it’s about time somebody recognizes my talent and how I’ve been miscast in this production full of idiots!
I never said anything about talent…. just that you aren’t as entertaining as the rest of the bunch.
CHIP: Then your standards of entertainment are pretty low, my friend.
Well, yeah… I got stuck narrating for this shitty blog. So, Chip, what does Christmas mean to you?
CHIP: I hope you and your misguided readers weren’t expecting a fucked up response today. My favorite part of Christmas is all of the decorations.
CHIP: Of course! I love seeing everything get all decked up for the holidays….
CHIP: Sigh, I didn’t mean ME!!!
TINA: OMG Aunt Scratchy! Our holiday yard squirrel looks so cute!!!
CHIP: Get these hideous accessories off of me at once! Who knows how much lead paint from China is in this stuff…
SCRATCHY: Dude, you would totally fit in at the rave I deejay at! You might even pass for a drag queen…
CHIP: So much for keeping this entry sane… the Shelf Critter Advent Calendar’s a lost cause now.