Another day, another holler from a mystery critter who will no doubt ruin your holiday season. It’s time to open up today’s WTF Surprise in The Nest’s Shelf Critter Advent Calendar. Let’s see if 21 gives us blackjack, or just makes us want to slapjack…
Well, if it isn’t Chip the squirrel… the so-called only sane critter on the Shelf.
CHIP: it’s about time somebody recognizes my talent and how I’ve been miscast in this production full of idiots!
I never said anything about talent…. just that you aren’t as entertaining as the rest of the bunch.
CHIP: Then your standards of entertainment are pretty low, my friend.
Well, yeah… I got stuck narrating for this shitty blog. So, Chip, what does Christmas mean to you?
CHIP: I hope you and your misguided readers weren’t expecting a fucked up response today. My favorite part of Christmas is all of the decorations.
CHIP: Of course! I love seeing everything get all decked up for the holidays….
CHIP: Sigh, I didn’t mean ME!!!
TINA: OMG Aunt Scratchy! Our holiday yard squirrel looks so cute!!!
CHIP: Get these hideous accessories off of me at once! Who knows how much lead paint from China is in this stuff…
SCRATCHY: Dude, you would totally fit in at the rave I deejay at! You might even pass for a drag queen…
CHIP: So much for keeping this entry sane… the Shelf Critter Advent Calendar’s a lost cause now.
Uhoh…..the one possibly sane critter has taken a nosedive……for a brief moment there was a glimmer of hope that not everyone on the Shelf would go the way of insanity this holiday. However, in Chip’s defense, he wasn’t that way to start with – it was was those other Christmas Crispy Critters on the Shelf who done him wrong!
If you sleep with Shelf critters, you’ll rise with fleas, crabs, and maybe even rabies….
Let the fumigation begin! LOL
Poor Chip. Soon he’ll be as insane as the rest of them.
I think he already is. He’s just very good at hiding his demented side from the public…
Chip could be saved, he is not so mixed up like the others. I could adopt him. In this darkness he will be like the others here, walking head down, thinking of a suicide ( Finland is on top of the list of suicides) and so not doing anything weird like the critters.
I am weird, because I don’t understand the issues with the darkness. I’ve been a night person all my life, even when I was a kid. And now I’ve worked nights for 21 years. I see the sun every once in a while. Just think of how many more squirrel pictures I’d have if I was up and about in the day more often…
You are not weird, you have a good sense of a special humor, I like it.
Awwww, Chip looks cute in that hat and bow! I just realized he reminds me of my oldest son. I’m pretty sure he too feels like the only sane person around.
LOL, it must be hard to be that one sane person in the bunch! I sometimes feel like that at Mecca…
Tell Chip sanity is reserved for 2020.