I’d be jumping for joy as well if I were in the lucrative business of plumbing.
When someone’s sociability gets the best of them and they randomly decide to ask me how I’m doing, I generally go against standard protocol and actually tell that person exactly how I’m feeling. Hey, they asked for it, right? So when I’m asked to share my world…. well, despite what it may seem like, life isn’t all rainbows, unicorns and dead possums at The Nest.
Ah, this always gets me in the holiday spirit.
The final hurdle in what was a weeklong gauntlet of inconveniences and issues I had coming my way was a visit from the plumber yesterday morning to open up my kitchen drain which had solidified shut and spewed up the nastiest of yuckies in the process. Now, I knew it wasn’t something minor…. the plumbing in my home has been shit for years… almost literally. My bathroom sink and right side of the kitchen sink have been clogged solid and unusable for a couple years… and the toilet has been slow and prone to overflowing for even longer than that.
Dammit, Elvis! Quit clogging up the shitter!
And naturally, the guys who came out didn’t get very far when they tried to unstop the drain. When one snake plunge into the depths withdrew mud, which should never be in plumbing, there was no denying something was very, very wrong. And thus after some visual checks in the sewer and a little sonar like device that sounded like a bad prop from a Star Wars movie, the source of the issue was found directly under my kitchen floor. In a city that is notorious for its basements that flood every time it rains, I’ve always felt fortunate to live in a house on a slab.
Not anymore…
Time to tear some shit up!
Of course, since this was Christmas Eve morning, the only thing that got done yesterday was the diagnosis, complete rearranging of my major kitchen appliances (which further damaged a water line to my washer and the gas line to my stove… yes, it was a glorious day!), and of course the smelling salts for what the final bill would be. I won’t tell you how much lighter I’ll be financially… other than to say the only two purchases I made for more money were my house and car. And that I DO have the money (you can cancel those GoFundMe pages you all started)… being a single, frugal tightwad without expensive entertainment needs for so long does have its advantages. This is exactly the kind of shit I knew would eventually go wrong and that I’ve saved up for. But the massive inconvenience of having my kitchen and bathroom turned into a road construction zone for at least a couple days (Which were supposed to be part of a relaxing three days off)… not to mention having gone five days and counting now without access to a working sink (Which isn’t good when you’re dealing with a cat and cleaning up his chronic diarrhea) is maddening. Thank goodness I don’t give a shit about Christmas, or I’d really be stressed right now…
Move over, mutt! I need to wash my hands…
Alrighty then…. with that off my chest, let’s do the actual world sharing, courtesy of Melanie’s questions for this holiday week! I hope she doesn’t mind that I tweaked her logo to make it a bit more appropriate for my fabulous situation I’m in…
Two thirds of the earth is water… but only because the Marianas Trench is hopelessly clogged.
Do dogs ‘talk’ (communicate) with their own species?
I don’t see why they wouldn’t. Humans certainly don’t have a monopoly on the whole verbal communication thing. Squirrels absolutely communicate with each other… that’s not just idle jabbering they do when they detect a threat or a nuisance. We just aren’t smart enough yet to crack the animal language barrier…
Let me in, dude! I have some high quality catnip!
Have you ever had to work on Christmas Day?
LOL! I guess technically I haven’t, since I work nights. I’ve had Wednesday/Thursday nights off forever now, and the only night my crew never works is Christmas Eve. Yes, I’ve worked them all…
Hung Lo doesn’t mind working the buffet on December 25th…
If someone gifts you something that you immediately loathe, do you pretend to really like it anyway or are you brutally honest about your opinion?
My face would give it away. I’m not good at pretending to like something I don’t. If that discourages people from buying me gifts, it’s all the better. Please stop the silly gift reciprocity tradition!
Take it back. Now…
Which popular drink, found during the Christmas season most often, is called “milk punch?”
What is this, a game show? Let’s see what the contestants have to say….
MR. FOX: ……………..
I’m sorry, but that’s incorrect. And you forgot to phrase your blank stare in the form of a question.
MITZI: Like, is it hooch?
Like, no it isn’t, Mitzi. The judges would like to see you backstage, though, while they deliberate on whether to accept your answer or not.
SHADOW: This question doesn’t even begin to challenge my vast intellect and cognitive skills!
Do you know the answer or not, genius?
SHADOW: Do I know the answer? Of course it’s….. um…… that one drink….. just give it to me already!
Sorry, but nobody here at The Nest knows the answer. We’ll have to leave this one unfinished.
How many ghosts show up during “A Christmas Carol?”
Four. Inky, Blinky, Pinky and Marley…
The Ghost of Christmas Past tastes like shit…
Are you all about the holly and jolly or more about remembering the alleged ‘true’ meaning of Christmas?
None of the above. And I laugh at the people who seem to struggle with the fact that Christmas has become an American holiday that is about both…. together. Jesus and Santa are not separate, but equal…
Oh geez, nobody likes a sarcastic savior.
Please share a memory or thought about the holiday season if you’d like, whatever kind of celebration you may observe.
Meh. The kind of crap that happened this Christmas seems to pop up most years. No thanks.
But I will share one of the few positive things that happened over the past week… and that I was looking forward to showing off in this week’s SYW post until the roof caved in.
You still serving this same old crap?
Sewie came to my door for the first time in well over a year this past weekend! You may remember him as the regular visitor cat who came between Pretty Kitty and Gypsy. Unlike the other two cats who “belonged” to the neighbors two houses down and spent most of their time outside since the parents only had them to entertain the kid… Sewie belonged to a different neighbor who clearly DID take care of the cat. I’m not sure if it was because of jealousy over Gypsy, but he stopped coming by for a meal a year and a half ago, and I went almost a year without seeing him at all. So when he stopped by and came to my porch, it definitely brightened my day…
That’s me… a day brightener.
Evil Squirrel's Nest 
Ho Ho Noooooo! Sorry for your ‘cat’ astrophic plumbing problems! But Yay for Sewie! He’s a gorgeous kitty and I’ve missed seeing him here, too.
Merry Christmas, anyway! 🙂
I’ve missed having a cat come to my door after almost three years of feeding a third cat. It was really exciting to see Sewie again!
🙂 🙂
Why all these things, like your sewer, must happen at night, on Sonday, on holidays.. I hope you will get your home in order soon. Have you seen Gipsy Snow White cat at all. This Sewie is a beautiful cat.
No, I haven’t seen Gypsy since March. One way or the other, she is definitely gone. At least I knew Sewie is still around and doing well…
I never celebreated Christmas before because I’m not a christ.
I love that Umbreon doll. I’m a fan of Pokemon hahaha
Wish you have a great year of 2020.
Thanks! I’m not a Pokemon fan, but love the Umbreon. Really cool design…
Awwww, it’s good to see the handsome Sewie again. I’m glad he dropped in to bring you some cheer after the bad news from the plumber. Although, it’s kind of an odd coincidence that someone named Sewie made an appearance at the same time you’re having plumbing issues! I’m sorry Santa brought you such a crappy surprise this year. We received a similar one in December 2010 when the valve under the master bath sink decided to explode. Luckily, I was home to hear the sudden waterfall so it didn’t run for hours but the valve was stuck so it shot out quite a lot of water and ruined a lot of floors, walls and ceilings before I could get the water turned off. Besides the expense, it really sucks having your house and routine messed up while things get repaired.
I laughed when you made the Sewie/plumbing connection…. because he showed up the same day the sink clogged up and started this mess! I’m a creature of habit, and my routine has been messed up in so many ways by this. You don’t realize how often you use the sink until you can’t anymore. At least my cats have been smart enough not to try jumping in the giant hole in my kitchen floor, so far…
It’s good to see Sewie again! He’s looking well.
Sorry ti hear about your plumbing problems. I tell you what, I couldn’t live without my toilet…
Wearing a diaper all the time is no way to live. And nobody will change it for you once you become an adult…
Gosh – Christmas was a BIG DRAIN for you this year – financially and literally. That is definintely a holiday nightmare but at least you had been saving for a future disaster! We kind of keep a “disaster fund” because sure enough we usually have at least one of those every year. Still, NOT FUN indeed. What IS very cool is that Sewie showed up again! There’s some kind of synchronicity going on with that – you have a disaster and adorable Sewie stops by to say howdy. Maybe it was just a reminder that even in the midst of a mess, there’s always SOMETHING to smile about?
Pam
I was wanting to get the roof redone this year, but that’s definitely being pushed off now. And hopefully my current kidney stone will hold off on needing surgery until my next appointment in the summer (I dodged that bullet Monday, and now am very glad I did). I wish my tree grew money instead of acorns, but…. oh well.
Um….hold up there. Houses on SLABS still have under concrete plumbing issues? Aw %$@#!! Yes a decidedly non-Christmassy sentiment. My sympathies, Sir Squirrel, for your plumbing issues. Apparently you’ve gotten a spot on Murphy’s sh*t list – perhaps literally given the diarrhetic cat. 😐 I mean I don’t doubt that cats get diarrhea, I’m just not sure how one TELLS, given the cat box idea and all…. Good luck with all being well SOON. Nobody should suffer so. Yesterday (December 25th) I hosted my first dinner party in .. well a LONG time. And wouldn’t you know it? My kitchen sink backed up. Uh. WTFQ? Anyway. Thanks For Sharing Your Mirth-filled World, Squirrel! And may the rest of your year be merry and bright, and not filled with cat sh*t. I’d never heard of Sewie, but he is lovely. Thanks for sharing him too!
One can tell when the cat is going multiple times of day and all over the room the litter box is in. Diarrhea also clumps up to look like a potato chip, on the rare occasions Biskit feels like covering up his work…
And yes, that plumbing has to go out somewhere… and the only place is underneath the house. Other than not having a good place to go in case of a tornado, that may be the only other disadvantage to being on a slab…
We had a lot of pipes replaced this year and we had the entire well redone a few years ago AND the septic redone a couple of years before that. In total? About $8500 and we got off cheap! We should have ALL skipped college and become plumbers. It pays much better and someone always needs a plumber every day of every year.
I was made to feel like I was getting off cheap with this one (And given what all they had to go through yesterday just to GET to the problem, they’re probably right). It’s only a third of my yearly pay. I should have asked if I could help them out and maybe become an apprentice plumber and pay it off much faster…
Sewie is one handsome boy. No wonder his visit brightened your dad. Maybe he was just waiting for the plumbing gods to strike to make you feel better. 😸
Really love your typo there …
😂