After a week off, The Nest’s thoroughly dangerous contraption the Randomator is back and ready for action again! Let’s do another Wednesday edition of Random Image Inspiration! You might want to back away as the machine spits out today’s numbers…
5, 80, 57, 96
The 5th post in my Reader was this one by Phenny
At only 22 words long, I needed to wrap around several times to get the magic words…
The 80th word in that post is “moon’s”
The 57th word in that post is “the”
Since Google doesn’t want to recognize the apostrophe, I had to include “moon’s” in quotation marks to get this to work right…
Putting “moon’s the” into Google Images brought this up as the 96th result…
ED: This magic show has been awful!
BOB: Ah, ah… it’s a “magick” show, Ed. That’s what the stupid posters said.
JOE: And who holds a “magick” show outdoors anyway? The (SLAP!) skeeters are awful tonight!
GUS: Aw, come on guys! The tricks have been amazing! He made that possum appear out of his hat…
BOB: Didn’t you see the critter’s tail sticking out from underneath the table long before he pulled it out of “thin air?” This is the worst magician I have ever seen!
MAGICIAN: What have you thought about The Great Crackstone’s show so far, ladies and gentlemen?
The Great Crackstone attempts to pull a bouquet of flowers out of his vest, but half a deck of nude playing cards scatters onto the stage instead as the crowd boos raucously.
MAGICIAN: And now, for the grand finale! I, The Great Crackstone, the most talented magician alive or dead, shall make the moon disappear from the sky before your very eyes!!!
GUS: Ooh, this is going to be so exciting! Look, the moon’s already disappearing!!!
GUS: There it goes!!!
GUS: I’ve never seen anything so amazing as this!!!
JOE: GUS!!! Snap out of it!
GUS: But the moon…
ED: You moron, don’t you know there’s a lunar eclipse tonight?
BOB: This scam artist is trying to take advantage of your gullibility.
GUS: But the moon! It really is disappearing! Look at…
JOE: You’re incredibly naive, Gus. No wonder your family disowned you.
An hour and a half later….
MAGICIAN: Ta-da!!! The Great Crackstone has made the moon completely disappear!
The crowd all looks down at their smartphones with complete disinterest.
MAGICIAN: And if you’d like The Great Crackstone to return your moon to the sky, well…. (places his top hat at the front of the stage) you had all better reward The Great Crackstone well for entertaining you tonight! The moon returns when my hat is pull to the brim with money!
GUS: (Digging in his pockets) Guys, we better…
ED: We’re not giving that shyster a dime!
GUS: But the moon….
BOB: Not. A. Dime!
JOE: Do you see any other fools out there rushing to tip this clown?
The Great Crackstone grows angry that the audience is ignoring his calls for donations.
MAGICIAN: Very well, then! The Great Crackstone shall leave you all without a moon! (Picks up his top hat as another flea-bitten possum falls out onto the stage) Goodbye!
GUS: Oh no! Now we don’t have a moon! Guys, this isn’t good!
JOE: Gus, he didn’t make the moon disappear! It’s a freaking eclipse!
GUS: But guys…
ED: Watch, idiot. The moon should start re-appearing right about….
three minutes later….
ED: Right about…..
five minutes later….
BOB: (Scrolling through his phone) Let me check the almanac here…
fifteen minutes later…
JOE: Why is the moon not reappearing?
GUS: Guys, I tried to tell you the moon really was disappearing!!! Look!!!!
GUS: You can see the stars behind it! That’s no eclipse!!!
BOB: Oh dear.
JOE: I guess that character actually knew some “magick” after all.
ED: I wonder if The Great Crackstone accepts post-dated checks…