Share Your World – Week 58

Mitzi would like to take this time to remind all you ladies out there to regularly fluff up your VD plushies you’ll undoubtedly be showered with tomorrow…

The only thing more frightening than Thursday the 13th is having me share more of ES’s scary world with you all… as I’m about to do once again thanks to this week’s SYW questions from Melanie.  Consider it my Valentine’s Day gift to you, which will not have to be reciprocated for by getting down on your knees…

I’ll bet holding the earth would feel slimy…

Do you snore?  How do you know it, if you do? – I don’t know for absolute certain that I do since there’s nobody for me to annoy while I’m sleeping.  But I strongly suspect I do sometimes, because occasionally I’ll wake up in what feels and sounds like a mid-snore.  My Mom and at least one of my sisters are champion snorers, so genetics says I probably wake the dead when I sleep as well…

Quit cramping my mellow with your snoring, mutt!

What do you find funny? – This is one of those common questions that comes up in blogging challenges… and my only response to it is… well, whatever makes me laugh.  That can be just about anything… my funny bone is open to many kinds of humor.  And as anyone whose read any of my attempts at humor on this blog would know (particularly involving those critters), my humor appreciation often crosses into the perverse and the politically incorrect…

Oh, come on. Who hasn’t wanted to see that creepy-ass fabric softener mascot get ass raped by a giant squirrel?

What was the last furry thing you touched? – Well, if scratching myself doesn’t count, then….

Was that visual really necessary!?!?

Then I guess it would be my cats.  My Mom, who has nothing better to do but waste money ordering any old shit online, got a giant dog toy that’s essentially a big fabric tree trunk with a handful of squirrel chew toys inside of it.  She forced it on me today, so I threw it on the living room floor, sprinkled some catnip on everything, and let the cats have at it.  As you can see, Ody is thrilled with his new playtoy…

Playtoy? You mean body pillow…

How do you handcuff a one-armed man? – With a handcuff, singular, of course.  That didn’t take a lot of brain power…

Rick Allen, drummer for Def Leppard, is up in arm about this question’s insensitivity to the member-impaired…

This week I challenge you to list five things you’re grateful for.

1. Oxygen

Because that 79% of the atmosphere that’s nitrogen doesn’t do a thing for me…

2. Fried chicken

Food of the gods. And you have to be a god to afford it anymore…

3. The internet

Because it’s so hard to find old school porn these days…

4. Indoor plumbing

Believe me, I’ll never take that luxury for granted again…

5. The Contest of Whatever, which ends in two weeks.  Get those entries in now!!!!

Nobody is grateful for shameless plugs like this, though…

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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12 Responses to Share Your World – Week 58

  1. Ally Bean says:

    Oxygen is a good answer to the question. I’ve never thought of that before, but you’re right. Grateful for it, I am.

  2. we love KFC and also indoor plumbing… we can place a bet when we are on the way to oz with our whole crib if our dad will not stop to smoke a cigarette while doing what he has to do…

  3. Gosh – good old oxygen – wonder how much longer it will be around for us to enjoy?? Haven’t had KFC in a while but they recently added Popeye’s to our fast food-o-rama in my town and having eaten there once will send us back to KFC for sure. Ody seems to like his tree trunk/body pillow – and who doesn’t enjoy seeing a happy cat up (or on) a tree? Happy Sharing!

    Pam

    • I love Popeye’s, and after 25 years without one, they’re finally coming back to my town later this year. I used to be so loyal to KFC until they jacked their prices through the roof. Popeye’s and Chruch’s have box chicken deals are almost half of what the same amount costs just to have those 11 herbs and spices…

  4. Thanks E.S. for Sharing Your World. Oxygen. It gets me high. 😛 (didn’t Dr. Hook or someone write a song about that??) It’s the simple things in life we tend to overlook – like air and having a private sanitary place to crap… thank you so much for reminding us all. Now no, I didn’t need the visual of non-discreet (or maybe you WERE discreet. I suppose it depends on the setting, right?) private scratching of things best not mentioned…um.. O_o And I happen to ❤ Snuggle very much, so no I didn't want to know that gigantic squirrels were givin' it to him – prison style. 😮 !!
    Lastly what is Odi (Ody?) sitting on as he enjoys the benefits of legally sanctioned cat nip? It looks like he gave birth to small plushy versions of your cast (of thousands) in your theatre.

    • You’re thinking of the Sweet song “Love Is Like Oxygen”… love the band, but not that song (and it’s a Mecca earworm, sigh). Ody’s body pillow is the dog toy set my Mom gave me that I described… it’s supposed to be a tree trunk with holes in it that dogs can take and add squirrels to. Two of said squirrels are being crushed by Ody in that picture…

  5. I’m somewhat surprised # 4 wasn’t first on your list. 🚽

  6. draliman says:

    Hey we’ve all done it. “Giant dog chew toy, 20% off today only!”
    “Must…buy…giant…dog..chew…toy…though…don’t…own…dog…must…buy…”

  7. Quirky Girl says:

    It is often the most basic things we take for granted in life. Oxygen is definitely one of those things. So thank you for that reminder. The next time I’m struggling for a reason to feel grateful for anything, I will remind myself that life would be so much worse without oxygen. 😛

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