America Repossessed

a box full of junk

The world may be crazy right now, but here at The Nest, we’ve been doing that crazy thing each and every Wednesday.  It’s time to spin the dials on the Randomator and find another image to stir our sick creativity for Random Image Inspiration!  Here are some numbers that actually mean something…

46, 20, 73, 17

The 46th post in my Reader was this one by Marilyn

The 20th word in that post is “absence”

The 73rd word in that post is “and”

Putting “absence and” into Google Images brought this up as the 17th result…

A handful of Native American men in full tribal gear perform a ritual dance around a bonfire as Chief Bearpaw and his young adult son look on.

“So, what do you think of our native victory dance, son?”

The chief waits for an answer that never arrives…

“Hey, wait… PA!!!!” young Screaming Squirrel complained as his father grabbed the smartphone out of his hand and chucked it into the fire.

“We finally take back our lands from white man, and you continue to use their evil magic devices?  Some Chickapee you are!”

“Aw, Pa!  Some of the Americans’ gizmos were really fun….”

“They NOT Americans!  We FIRST Americans!  Now we ONLY Americans!  This is all Chickapee land now, from sea to shining sea!  No more reservations!  No more refugee camps!  No more living in squalor!”

“No more Facebook and Twitter….”

“This land will be great again now with white man gone!  Stupid race.  Done in by own ego and stupidity!”

“Say Pa, I thought that disease did them in… that cupid virus or whatever…”

“White man did not die from virus.  White man died from own selfishness.  They used a special paper to clean their behinds… and when it was all gone, white man was too scared to take shit.  Mass genocide by constipation!”

“Man, that sucks.  Hey Pa, think we could find some of that special paper now that the civilized folks won’t be needing it?”

“Son, proud Chickapee uses foliage to clean bum!  The old ways of our tribe are reborn today!”

“The old ways suck!” Screaming Squirrel muttered as he tried to dig his charred phone out of the fire…


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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18 Responses to America Repossessed

  1. I guessed it… the tp rolls are our doom…. how good that we have not much of that butt killing stuff…

  2. White men is here forced to stay in,too. Only the Tp factories are running day and night.

  3. Global constipation. A terrifying and painful idea, but it works. Sorry about the phone, though. I’m waiting for them to dole out large chunks of money. THAT would solve a lot of problems around here!

    • I have gotten a very humorous but humiliating lesson in the priorities of humanity these past couple of weeks. That the TP was emptying out before the food really says something (And if you don’t have food, you don’t really need the TP, you know….)

  4. Although you can’t buy TP around here at ANY price.

  5. Chickapee nation will follow the path of white man if he covets the white paper – suggest he stick with corn cobs or leaves. Trust me.

    • I forgot good ol’ corn cobs! I quit buying them once my squirrel feeder broke last year, but maybe I should reconsider…… naw, my lone pack of TP I bought at the beginning of the year will see me into 2021.

  6. Squaw Princess The Now Deceased Diamond the Hunydog Ghost: Well dogs took care of that whole using paper to wipe one’s rear a LONG LONG time back. We just go. If there’s residuals? Wipin’ your butt on the grass (or a handy newly cleaned area rug) always works…

    BWAHAHAHHAHA! Thanks for the belly laugh. I woke up to a world gone that much more mad, as Utah perhaps is preparing for “The BIG one’, which has nothing to do with who belongs where or in what order and any dingleberry viruses (do you know what a dingleberry IS? It’s appropriate in this context). I’m not sure if it were a relief or not though…

  7. Merbear74 says:

    Oh man…lol.

  8. Trisha says:

    LOL! I knew it would be our own stupidity that ended us but dying of mass constipation is one ending I never thought of!

  9. And now leaves and twigs are in short supply. 👏🏼Well played.

  10. draliman says:

    It seems the younger generation is going the way of the foolish white man…

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