It’s time for this fool to go where angels fear to tread… into the depths of unknown chaos we like to call Random Image Inspiration! Let’s send the Randomator on another fool’s errand…
10, 71, 60, 98
The 10th post in my Reader was this one by
The 71st word in that post (wrapping around to the beginning) is “up”
The 60th word in that post (” ” ” ” “) is “this”
This has to be one of the more dirty sounding two-word search terms we’ve had yet for RII…
Putting “up this” into Google Images brought this up as the 98th result…
Sometime in the 2084….
CASHIER: Welcome to Orwell’s Eats, home of The State dinner combo. How may I help you?
FRANK: I guess I’ll have a bourgeois burger with fries please.
CASHIER: And you, sir?
ROGER: Just a salad, ma’am!
CASHIER: Your total for the burger and fries is sixteen stalinbucks. (The cashier picks up a barcode reader) Arm, please.
FRANK: Sigh, I really hate these state sponsored barcodes that we’re all tattooed with now!
ROGER: Nonsense, Frank! It’s quite efficient, actually!
FRANK: But it allows the government to access every bit of information about us!
Frank’s barcode on his upper arm is scanned and the register beeps that the sale has been approved.
ROGER: And none of us have to carry a credit card anymore or worry about identity theft! See there, the money’s taken right out of your state bank account!
FRANK: You don’t think there’s something sinister behind it?
ROGER: Of course not! You might want to mind your opinions, Frank…. Big Brother is watching, after all!
CASHIER: Next! You’re holding up the line, mister!
ROGER: Oh, right, right! (Rolls up sleeve) Here you go.
Rather than a beep, the register makes a screeching sound. The monitor displays “INVALID PERSONAL CODE.”
CASHIER: I’m sorry, sir, but your personal code is invalid.
ROGER: That’s odd, it scanned perfectly fine yesterday at the drugstore.
CASHIER: As per State Regulation 69.13, any citizen with an invalid personal code that will not scan is considered a traitor who must be immediately liquidated
ROGER: Wait, no! I’m no traitor! it’s just… oh, it looks like I formed a stretch mark over the last few lines of the code.
Two nondescript men in dark suits pick up Roger by each armpit and escort him over to the meat grinder.
ROGER: NO! There’s been a mistake! I have a valid code! Please, just re-scan it again! You can’t do this to me! It’s not right!!!
FRANK: Mind your opinions, Roger. Big Brother is watching after all.
CASHIER: Good news, sir. We now have fresh meat for your Bourgeois Burger.
FRANK: Errrrr, I think I’ll have Roger’s salad instead since he won’t be around to eat it…