Share Your World – Week 77

Quitcher whining, Snuggle! Or we’ll put you in a cell with Big Scrat…

It’s time once again for The Nest to share its world, and this time Melanie added a criminal element to the questions for this week.  Of course, the staff and critters here at The Nest are all perfect little angels, and would never knowingly engage in any sort of underhanded or illegal activities…. at least that could be proven beyond a reasonably doubt in a court of law…… with a very expensive defense attorney….. and perhaps a visit by Mitzi to the judge’s chambers.  OK, now that we’ve established our innocence, let’s get this sentence started…

Also appropriate since it’s apparently National Handshake Day! Go ahead, you know you want to spread the love…

Have you ever ‘dined and dashed” (i.e. eaten the meal and then run out the restaurant door without paying)?

I tend to eat (or I guess, used to tend to eat) in the type of restaurants that required you to pay up front… so no, I am definitely not guilty of this crime.  I’ve never even stolen food off of an all you can eat buffet to take home… unlike my dear, sweet mother who would always wrap some stuff in a napkin and shove it in her purse to feed the dogs at home…

One of my Mom’s mutts ready to eat any finger that gets close to his mouth…

Have you ever been in a car accident and either left the scene of the accident (providing it was a fender bender and not serious) or denied culpability for causing it when you did, (if it were minor or serious)?

The only true car accident I’ve ever been a driver in was the one I had in Oklahoma (Beware those left turns into a Whataburger!) back in 2011, which was entirely my fault and which I was lucky enough to run into someone who handled things with my insurance company without involving the police and getting me socked with lots of out-of-state tickets.  I did, once, tap another car’s bumper while parking at work.  It was dark, and it wasn’t enough to leave a mark on either car… but a couple of customers apparently saw (or heard) something and asked if I hit that car.  I denied it and walked in to work….

See. Not a scratch…

Have you ever found a wallet or purse or some money (over $20) in the street and just taken it, thinking ‘finders keepers, losers weepers?   Or would you be ‘good’ and hand it in?

If I see someone drop something, valuable or not, I’m going to let them know about it.  I’m not THAT evil.  If I found a wallet or purse or anything else valuable at work, I would also turn that in since it’s likely whoever it belonged to would show up later to claim it.  On the street, or if was something that would be difficult for anyone to legitimately claim…. all bets are off.

One of the people who used to live in my house apparently lost her wallet at a local gas station not long after I moved here.  The station management mailed the contents to my house.  There was very little in it… the only two things I remember off hand were her drivers license (Which, of course, had my address on it) and four one dollar bills.  I put it away and forgot about it…. only to come across it again a couple years ago, by which time I claimed the money for myself and added the license to my collection of weird shit I’ve found.

The dollar bills went to a good cause, at least…

What was the last thing you stole or shoplifted?   If you never ever considered doing that, tell us your secret!

My secret is that I work at Mecca, and value my job very much.  It really ISN’T worth it…

I did once discover that I accidentally bought two cat litter pans that were stuck together and only rung up as one.  That doesn’t count though, and besides, I’m sure the statute of limitations has run out already on that craven misdeed…

Uh oh! Big Scrat says there’s no limitations on the exacting of justice…


This post makes me grateful that I’ve never been in prison,  Because as we all know, soap is very slippery when wet…

This should scare anyone straight…


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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15 Responses to Share Your World – Week 77

  1. you are a fab guy, no matter what!!! if more people or squirrels would be like you, our world would be much better… oh and funnier of course!!!

  2. Mer O'Leary says:

    Hey ES…you can still call me Merby. Love you, blog brother.

  3. Crime doesn’t pay – unless you’re Mitzi of course.


  4. Seems like you’re mostly squeaky clean when it comes to committing any crimes department. Some of the critters though…might need to be locked up🔒

  5. Thanks E.S. for Sharing Your World and some high level entertainment along with it (I admit to screeching with laughter, which woke up Pudge from his long winter’s nap and was he grouchy!!). I’d hide that black light too, um. What they can’t see isn’t admissible, right? O_o I’m validated to know you are much like I imagined you to be – not truly evil, but just a lil’ um, er shady? Twisted? Well who (honestly) isn’t? I’m glad those dollar bills went to a good cause too… and the pooch who gobbles the ill gotten food gains? Resembles my Gypsy (may she rest in peace) and I admit to a tiny tear escaping my wizened crone eyes. I miss her..

  6. We seem to lack a serious criminal class right now. So HOW COME our entire COUNTRY is run by criminals? Maybe there is a finite amount of criminality in the air, so if everybody were just a little less honest, then everybody would be more honest? No? It’s a good theory, right?

  7. draliman says:

    You do know that the FBI are constantly trawling social media looking for crimes, and June is “cat litter pan theft month”…?

  8. Trisha says:

    I stole a Mickey Mouse balloon when I was a kid. My mom marched me right back in the store and made me confess my crime. I was mortified. Maybe that’s why I’ve never stolen anything on purpose since. I caught myself trying to slip something in my purse a while back but I wasn’t trying to steal it I was just absentmindedly trying to find a place to put it to free up my hands. I’m sure store security hears that excuse all the time though! Thankfully I caught myself and didn’t get busted by someone else. That would be so embarrassing!

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