Chocolate Cake

You can eat it. But it tastes like shit…

Oh geez, is it really that time of the year again where I’m legally required to turn another year older?  I hate birthdays and all the fuss people make over them.  But luckily my “special” day falls on a Monday this year, so I can at least enjoy a lost earworm while I ponder being halfway to 90, if I can hear it over the noisemakers.  That’s the day The Nest opens up another unloved musical gift out of that clearance aisle of the record store we like to call the Dusty Vinyl Archive!  DJ Scratchy will not be jumping out of the cake, because that would really be embarrassing in front of everyone I know… while the Sponkies drink some punch I spiked with soda.  If I gotta have cake, it better be chocolate on chocolate….

Among the many bands who found fame and gained a signature song during the much reviled disco era was a British quintet (at least during their successful years) that went by the apropos name of Hot Chocolate.  Their 1975 hit “You Sexy Thing” became a dance classic, and gained newfound fame in the 90’s with its inclusion in the film The Full Monty.  Hot Chocolate and their song were much beloved in their homeland, and “You Sexy Thing” managed the bizarre feat of appearing in the UK Top 10 at some point in three straight decades from the 70’s through the 90’s!

I believe in miracles…

Hot Chocolate wasn’t quite as big on the American side of the ocean, but they still scored a trio of Top 10 hits.  Alas, apparently all the radio will ever play anymore is “You Sexy Thing.”  Mind you, it’s not a bad song at all…. but it’s far from my favorite.  That would be their 1978 #6 hit with the unusual nomenclature, “Every 1’s a Winner”…

Gotta love that funky sound, and the horns!  And putting that “1” in the title back when the king of textspeak songs, Prince, was still working part time at Mr. McGee’s five and dime.  I dropped this number in this year’s Contest of Whatever judging post, and it got Big Scrat all worked up, so it’s must be just as provocative as “You Sexy Thing”…

Time to SATISFYYYYYYY!!!!!

And if you’re wondering what that third Top 10 hit was for Hot Chocolate, it was a sad but still very DVA worthy song called “Emma.”  Hey, it’s my day, after all.  I say we make this edition of The archive a two-fer!

Be sure to come back next Monday for another great lost song, assuming I don’t die from old age in the meantime…

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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35 Responses to Chocolate Cake

  1. beth says:

    happy, happy birthday!!

  2. Rivergirl says:

    That cake is so wrong it’s right.
    Happy birthday!

  3. Happy Birthday oh great Shelf-Master………….and thanks too for the DOUBLE ear-worms on this Monday. I don’t actually recall these songs but then we’re talking late 70s and if you asked me where I was or who I was I might have had that “DUHHHH” look on my face! Anyway, enjoy your special day…………maybe the Bimbocorn herself will do a special pole dance in your honor????

    Pam

  4. Happy Birthday to you! The cake looks very much like the Christmas Poop in South Park series.

  5. oh my you know our mamas cakes? wow!!! we love hot chocolate…and we will make such awinner cake… yeah!

  6. noelleg44 says:

    Happy Birthday!! Yes, the cake looks a little like a poop pile but I am such a chocoholic I would eat it if I knew for certain it wasn’t! 🙂

  7. 45? You said half way to 90, right? Oh my, you’re still a BABY, so enjoy the 40s while they last!! The 50s are gonna be uh, different; the 60s? So far not a fan. Anyway many happy returns!! And a little birthday wish from Sir Paul McCartney:

    • A baby, ha! The babies are the millennials I work with, some of whom weren’t even born yet when I first started my job. Thanks! I’ll just take things one decade at a time…

  8. Love the cake….I know several folk that deserve it…lol Happy B Day
    Jean

  9. Thom says:

    Happy Birthday! And count me as a fan of Every 1’s A Winner as well! That little guitar/synth line is a killer hook. Never been much of a fan of their other two hits, but Winner I like a lot.

  10. Happy Birthday! Wishing you a wonderful year full of great music and loads of cuteness. Good songs. Very nice. Have fun.

  11. Happy Birthday! 🎂 And don’t judge a cake by its exterior; it’s what’s inside that counts. 😉

  12. draliman says:

    I’m not a fan of this type of music in general, but I can tolerate many of Hot Chocolate’s songs, maybe because they’re played so much, crop up in various films etc.
    Happy birthday, hope you enjoyed the shit cake!

  13. Happy birthday…trust me it’s chocolate on the inside. 🎂 Love the funky sound.

  14. Happy birthday whether you like it or not! So there!

  15. Trisha says:

    Happy (belated) birthday! I hope it was a good one! Enjoy what’s left of your 40s. I turned the big 5-O last month and it’s fucking depressing. There’s no way I’ll make it to 100!

    • I’ll try to hold on to the years I have. I don’t think a male in my immediate family has made it to 65 yet, so if I can even get there, it will be a miracle. I don’t want to even think of how crappy I’ll feel by then, though, since I already feel like death warmed over at 45!

  16. I know I’m late to the party Evil, so Belated Happy Birthday to you!!!! I sure hope you had fun 🙂

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