In searching for a random photo to lead off with, here’s a picture I’m pretty sure I took about two months ago (My computer says I uploaded it in February, but it obviously isn’t February, and that white coat of paint and blue door on that house were recently added a few months ago) of a backhoe the city parked in front of my driveway. Apparently, the city crew and “chain gang” (those who pay off their city fines with a little community service) weren’t ready to come clean out the ditch yet, so the driver left it parked here and went down to the strip club or something. Very thoughtful, guys! Luckily, it was one of my sleeping days…
Now, on with this week’s Share Your World adventure, with questions provided by Melanie!
Where Do You Not Mind Waiting?
Patience is not one of my virtues. I’d rather not wait anywhere, especially since waiting generally involves either standing in a line (queue, for my international peeps) or sitting in a likely uncomfortable chair. If I have to kill time, I want to at least be able to walk around without losing my place…
What Is In Your
Fridge Icebox Right Now?
I had thought of doing a SCT skit themed around those ridiculous shows from the 80’s where Geraldo would reveal the contents of some long hidden safe on live TV, usually revealing nothing but a few dust bunnies and Sears Roebuck catalogs. However, that would involve taking pictures, which would expose my housekeeping habits that are on a par with those of Oscar Madison, if he were bedridden and Felix left him for another man.
Well, that saved Buster from getting “accidentally” trapped in the freezer. So instead, I just took some notes on the entire contents for your apparent curiosity and bemusement…
One half gallon of milk –
It does a body good, but I only use it for breading chicken
One egg from a dozen carton – see above
One 2/3 gone small tub of Country Crock – only used to add to microwaved green beans. It expired on February 24th, but fake butter is actually edible forever.
Unopened 12 pack bottles of Pepsi, two bottles of Coke, two cans from a 12 pack of Pepsi – Yes, I like soda… or “pop” for those of you in weird parts of the country. And the only reason there’s Coke infesting my icebox at this time is because our local Pepsi bottler has had some apparent supply disruptions the past few weeks.
Full gallon jug of Mecca’s cheapest orange juice – for when I’m not in the mood for soda
3 gallon jug of formerly Ice Mountain water (about 5 years ago), now constantly filled with tap water – for when I realize my kidneys need flushed out from all the soda. And no, I’ll never be on board with that bottled water racket everyone else falls for…
Bottle of insulin – because I apparently love Ody enough to spend $100 a month on his diabetic supplies.
Thawing out pack of pork steaks – since I can’t have Golden Corral’s yummy burnt pork steaks anymore, this is my new Thursday lunch item.
Box of Popeye’s with three pieces of chicken – leftover from lunch yesterday, will be dinner tonight.
Four half empty cans of chocolate frosting – every year for my birthday, my Mom makes me cupcakes. And every year, she gives me a can of frosting and a canister of nonpareils since I’m expected to decorate them myself. Sometimes, I’ve thrown the leftover frosting in the icebox for whatever reason instead of just pitching it in the trash can… apparently four years to be exact. The expiration dates on said half empty frosting containers….
- May 10, 2019
- June 14, 2017
- February 27, 2014
- April 29, 2011 (Predating even my blog!)
If You Could Only Speak One Word Today, What Would It Be?
Would You Rather Be Trapped In An Elevator Full Of Men With BO Or Three Soaked Dogs?
I’d rather be trapped in an elevator full of men with BO, three soaked dogs, AND four cans of expired chocolate frosting than stuck in a house with Biskit’s nasty, disgusting shit. He is the only reason I even bother to buy Febreze. Even when he goes where he’s supposed to (which is rare), it will still make the entire house reek…
Please feel free to share something good about last week.
I try to tune out the awful propaganda-ish radio show Mecca broadcasts several mornings a week, largely to an audience who is wearing earbuds and listening to something else anyway. But my ears perked up when I heard them mention a few stores who had their own safety mascots (including, apparently, a panda and a hippo). Those who were around in the heyday of my comic strip will remember there was a comic version of Mecca, and one of the recurring gags was the store’s Safety Unicorn, who represented all that was fucked up, counterproductive, and that I just flat out despised about corporate safety programs. If there is a real life safety unicorn, it wasn’t listed on the radio show. But for those of you who love retro ESN comics… feel free to indulge in The Best of Safety Unicorn!
Where it all started…