One of these things is not like the others…
One of the more entertaining aspects of my job working in retail purgatory is finding some of the things that customers leave laying around. I’m not talking about the expired coupons they purge from their oversized purses or the half eaten carton of chicken wings they “borrowed” from the deli… but one of the more common items I find, shopping lists! It’s somewhat interesting to see what goods people wanted bad enough to write a list out for, and of course to mock their remedial spelling of common everyday items. This list I found Monday night at work was interesting for the story it managed to tell in a folded one-eighth section of notebook paper…
Yes, the elephant on the list is the “condoms” written in the margin. And it doesn’t take a professional handwriting analyst to tell that item was not added by the same person who wrote the rest of the list. It’s a safe bet that the more stylistic writing was done by a woman, and the more plain letters in “condom” were written by a man who wanted to add something to his girl’s shopping list. And given the big X that got put by it, I’m assuming he won’t be getting any tonight. But it was a nice try, dude…
And now for something completely different…. Share Your World! As always, hosted by Melanie…
The world is my condom…
When was the last time you tried something new? How did that go for you?
Since work first became “interesting,” we’ve been getting a lot of snacks of the shelf provided for us on breaks… and a few weeks ago when none of my other go-tos were available, I tried some little fudge brownies with chocolate chips (and in cupcake wrappers!) that we sell by the dozen. I like brownies, but figured the chocolate chips would make them TOO chocolatey… but that was not the case. I buy them regularly now for snacks at home…
Eat me!!!!
What’s the most sensible thing you’ve ever heard someone say?
Silence is golden…
How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
Apparently old enough to have dementia…
What are all these things again?
Have you ever seen a ‘fresh’ corpse?
As in not “prepared” for viewing? I don’t think so. Unless animals count, in which case, I have recent experience with that.
BUSTER: That’s interesting, because I don’t think I’ve ever seen a fresh corpse either!
Well, that’s understandable since you can’t view your own body after your countless deaths. But what about your spirit form?
BUSTER: Oh, I’ve tried to get a look at my earthly self many times as I’m rising up into possum purgatory! But usually my ghost gets sucked up into an airplane engine or something like that before I can locate my remains.
Wait a minute… even your spirit dies all the time?
BUSTER: Sure! Wanna hear about the time I got plasma-rayed by the Ghostbusters and locked into their vault with the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man and Gozer?
Nah, I think we’ll pass on that for today, Buster. But thanks for contributing to our Share Your World discussion!
Gratitude: Do you enjoy any seasonal traditions around this time of year?
Halloween is about the only “holiday” I even remotely participate in… and that’s mainly because I love carving pumpkins.
Since I like to drop them on the gratitude section from time to time, here’s a few Halloween themed comics from ESN’s archives…
Evil Squirrel's Nest 
we love the buster part!!! I guessed it that he will jump in as I read the question… the shopping list is pretty cool, a classmate once bought bread and codoms, but had not enough money to get this two items… he gave the bread back while all eyebrows of the most older other customers went upwards like a high speed elevator ;O)
You can live for weeks without eating, but can not go so long without “other activities”….
Great flashback Halloween ‘toons! That shopping list you found is interesting……Toaster, condoms, cilantro and bread weren’t checked off. Perhaps changed her mind about what to get for dinner? Toasted cilantro flavored condom sandwiches?
Pam
I found the list with the toasters! (The area I stock now) So I guess after buying the toaster, the shopping was done, and the list abandoned without checking it off. Of course, if they didn’t buy any bread, the toaster is going to be pretty useless…
Not sure if it is an X or just a K as the culprit could not write Condoms properly … and tried with a K, first.
It might have been a teenage boy adding to his mum’s shopping list …
I’m not sure what that mark is supposed to be…. it almost looks like it started off as a star then got X’ed out. You could be correct about it being juvenile humor…
Who knew the ‘grim’ (bwahahahah ‘grim’ snerk snerk snerfle) reaper wore a pink satin bra & matching thong? BWAAHAHHHHAHA! Not to mention the subtle (*oblique eye roll* ) little ‘dialogue’ which read “Wally Cox to block, Peter” Lordie. Okay. Thanks Bill for Sharing Your Always Amusing World with everyone! The Buster type of corpse is the best kind, because you just know tomorrow he’ll be ‘alive’ again! Hallelujah! It’s a MIRACLE! The shopping list? I wondered where I lost that……
Buster’s corpse never even goes through rigormortis before he springs back to life. Word on the street is that’s the only way he can get stiff, too….
Love that list – handed me quite a chortle. 🙂
It made for a nice laugh when I found it!
Reblogged this on Serendipity Seeking Intelligent Life on Earth and commented:
Great Evil Cartoons for Halloween! Maybe I should buy a pumpkin too.
I love carving pumpkins too. Back when I was in the corporate world I always won the company pumpkin carving contests. Now that I work from home and no longer have the pressure to “show them all” I just carve fast scary faces that are mostly teeth and triangles. That is why I look forward to seeing YOUR pumpkins every Halloween. They’re awesome.
The question about age is still making my head spin.
Thank you for the cartoons. I am gushing with gratitude for them right now.
I’ve got three weeks to come up with a design for this year, assuming all the good pumpkins don’t get scarfed up again before I buy one…
The little snack brownie cupcake things look delicious. And I don’t even much like chocolate. Most sensible thing I’ve heard someone say was: ditch the mean people. Been living that idea ever since I first heard it.
For the record, the “poop cupcakes” were just an image I already had on file here… it’s not what I was actually referring to. But I’m sure they would be good too… I do love chocolate icing on chocolate cake…. even if the icing looks like poop.
Too chocolately? Is that even possible? I’d totally go for a poo cupcake.
Poor Buster. When it comes to dying, he goes the extra mile.
Chocolate chips in moderation are OK, but yes, they can make things too chocolatey. For myself anyway. And for Buster, whose guts will explode if you feed him chocolate… which is why I’m getting him a big candy bar for Halloween.
Harry Possum made me laugh! And that list–they need the condoms so they don’t have to buy any more Lunchables!
HA! I made that observation as well when I showed it to someone at work, and got the response “Adults eat Lunchables too, you know!” Try to take all the fun out of my forensic shopping list report…
Maybe, but the first half of the list seems very adult, then we get to juice, snacks, and lunchables–definitely someone with small children!
Hey, where’s my stupid Brother Bear on your shelf of debauchery?
I was going to say that the big purple dragon was sitting on him, as that’s where I originally kept him…. but he’s not. You can see Brother Bear’s face in that photo if you know where to look! Check to the left of the green bellied purple dragon….
Ah, yes. Poor little brother bear.
I think lunchables suggests kids and someone doesn’t want more!! Condoms was not really a suggestion!