I have one more set of park squirrel photos from June to feature, but there still may be some Saturday Squirrel worthy pics from that set…. so let’s go back to something that I quietly killed off when I began the Squirrels in the Park series…. Random Image Inspiration! Yes, I’m going to dump an entire bottle of Heet in the gas tank and fire up the Randomator for the first time in five months. Let’s see if it can spit out four numbers for us before the engine explodes…
2, 27, 36, 22
The 2nd post in my Reader was this one by Marilyn
The 27th word in that post is “credit”
The 36th word in that post is “good”
And even after all this time, the Randomator still spits out stuff that leaves little doubt what will emerge from the image box…
Putting “credit good” into Google Images brought this up as the 22nd result…
I missed the mini SCT episodes these posts often inspired me to create…
SNUGGLE: Fuck yeah! Look what came in the mail today! My very own pre-approved credit card with my name, SNUGGLE Z. BEAR, on the front! This baby’s got no limit either!
CHIP: It also says in the fine print that the interest rate is 169.98%.
SNUGGLE: I can’t hear you… all I can hear is the “Ch-Ching!” of my own personal cash register sounding off! It’s time to paint this town white…. er, red! I meant red!
CHIP: This can’t possibly end well. Better go offstage and grab the popcorn…
SNUGGLE: BURP! Damn, the number nine combo was great! I’m gonna have the shits all night!
TROLL: The check, sir.
SNUGGLE: Oh, yeah. Put it on my new no limit card!
TROLL: Excellent, sir. How much should I add as a tip?
SNUGGLE: I’ll run the chip reader up your ass if you charge me a tip! You know how many troll hairs I had to pick out of my food?
TROLL: I’ll just enter $50,000 then. I shall return shortly with your carbon copy receipt….
UNCLE SAM: This fine piece of machinery was previously owned by a little old lady who only drove it to bingo every Sunday night.
SNUGGLE: That’s a bad ass car! What did you say the Kelly Blue Book value was on it again?
SAM: Errrrrr, the yappy dog that appears in our annoying ads ate our copy of the KBB. How about I just sell this practically brand new 1992 model to you for….. oh….. twelve-nine?
SNUGGLE: Damn, that’s highway robbery for this lemon! Oh, fuck it! I got free money here…. put it on this card!
SNUGGLE: (Opens the door) Damn! The Jehova’s Witnesses are getting some sexy recruiters!
MITZI: Would you, like, like to totally buy some Grrl Scout cookies?
SNUGGLE: Aren’t you a little old to be in the Girl Scouts? Though I like how that kid’s shirt accentuates your cleavage!
MITZI: Totally! But now you can totally buy some of Mitzi’s “extra services” without, like, going to jail!
SNUGGLE: Fuck yeah! I’ll take a box of Samoans with a BJ on the side!
MITZI: Mitzi’s hummies are, like, very expensive!
SNUGGLE: Bitch, please! (Whips out card) I’m loaded!
MITZI: Yaysies! Like, American Express will do nicely, thank you!
NURSE RAINY: The lab results say you have syphilis, gonorrhea, and herpes!
SNUGGLE: I hope that Girl Scout who gave me all this got her merit badge in VD.
RAINY: What did you just say!?!?
SNUGGLE: Ummmm, nevermind. Look, can we fix this up so it doesn’t feel like I’m pissing lighter fluid anymore?
RAINY: You’re going to have to take these extra large suppositories as well as this injection into your testicles.
SNUGGLE: Fuck, that might hurt!
RAINY: The only thing that’s going to hurt is the bill you’re going to get for these latest advances in STD technology.
SNUGGLE: (Produces the card from his hospital gown) I can cover that. Now can I at least get a feel up before you stab my fucking balls with that thing?
SNUGGLE: Dude! I need a hit!
FUZZYWIG: Dude, I need some jack to pay the mortgage on my drug house.
SNUGGLE: I’m desperate! My nuts are killing me, and I need to take the edge off this pain!
FUZZYWIG: Mary Jane is always at your service…. for the right price.
SNUGGLE: I don’t care what it costs! I got a no limit credit card!
FUZZYWIG: Sorry, but the illegal drug trade is a cash only business.
SNUGGLE: If I had any fucking cash, I’d roll that up and smoke it! Screw it, I’m sure I can just buy MARIHUANA off the counter at Mecca now. Buzz off, loser!
SHADOW: Greetings, sir!
SNUGGLE: Oh, what are you selling? Doesn’t matter, (waves card) I’ll take ten of them!
SHADOW: Mr. Snuggle Z, Bear, I’m here from the PlasterCard collection agency, and we are looking to collect on your monthly bill of two million six hundred and seventy-nine thousand four hundred and twenty dollars and fifteen cents.
SNUGGLE: Dafuq!?!? I don’t have that kind of money! Wait, can I put it on my card?
SHADOW: Hmmmmmm….. seems like I’ll be forced to seize all of your assets.
SNUGGLE: Dude, you touch me and I’ll stomp on your Pokeballs!
SHADOW: I was referring to this wealth you seem to have accumulated since you received our pre-approved spam offer. But, if you won’t allow me to liquidate your assets, then I suppose I’ll have no choice but to summon my enforcer.
SNUGGLE: Yeah, whatever. You ain’t touching my shit!
SHADOW: Very well….
Shadow does his usual magic….
ZEEBA: Yeah!!! Do I get to fuck shit up now?
SHADOW: This critter refuses to pay off his credit card debt. He needs to be taught a lesson in fiscal responsibility.
ZEEBA: That still means I can fuck shit up, right? Who cares, I’m gonna go cut me a deadbeat bitch!!!! BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD! A pound of flesh and BLOOD!!!!
SNUGGLE: NO!!!! Please, take my assets! Just keep that psycho bitch away from me!
SHADOW: I thought you’d see things my way. And since even reselling all of this merchandise won’t cover your hefty interest payments, I shall also notify the authorities…
SNUGGLE: Damn, I just go out and spend beyond my means on credit like every other red blooded shelf critter would do, and look what it gets me…. making license plates in prison!
BIG SCRAT: Say there, teddy bear, you think you could use that credit card you have there to restock the soap in the shower? I seem to have….. used it all up.
SNUGGLE: No, I’m not going to….
BIG SCRAT: You might also want to invest in a few bottles of lube as well. I plan on swiping my magnetic strip in and out of your card reader all night long!
SNUGGLE: NOOOOOO!!!! I’m never opening my mail ever again!!!