SANTA: Well, I can’t use the heated spa since Blitzen shit in the Jacuzzi again! I guess I’ll pass my precious time by reading another whiny letter from a needy Shelf critter. Wait, this isn’t a letter! It’s just another goddamn solicitation for Medicare supplemental insurance! I live close enough to Canada that I get my health care for free! Even if I am still on the waiting list for surgery for my Cabbage Patch hernia I got in 1984. Fuck, this isn’t even addressed to me! “To Scrat the Red Nosed Squirreldeer or Current Occupant…”
SANTA: How in the hell did YOU get on a mailing list for health insurance!?!?
SCRAT: SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!!
SANTA: Why did I even fucking ask? Alright (Uses an icepick to open the next letter)…
SANTA: I’ve already got PETA on my ass for using reindeer to pull my sleigh around the world in one night! I’ll be damned if I’m sending you a puppy! But maybe……
Hung Lo’s Winter Gift Giving Holiday Of Choice’s morning…
HUNG LO: Ummmmmm….. this one ugly puppy.
BUSTER: Woof! Woof!
HUNG LO: Must be mistake. You aren’t puppy.
BUSTER: (Sitting up and begging) Can I lick your face?
HUNG LO: Eh…. maybe customers won’t notice difference in meat.
BUSTER: Would you like me to fetch you something master?
HUNG LO: Yes. Fetch Hung Lo’s cleaver…
Evil Squirrel's Nest 
hahaha… we love that name… it sounds… well ya know… like da nelly , da kennel club wrote his name wrong and now it sounds like da #147 from a chinese menu card hahahaha
Frankly I’m fairly certain nobody would notice a slight difference in taste from the usual puppy-laced menu items to one featuring “the possum who died a thousand deaths”……say……that sounds like a menu item already doesn’t it?
Pam
The Possum Who Died A Thousand Deaths definitely sounds like a Chinese dish…. well, maybe in Southern Chinese restaurants.
Run Buster Run!
He made it to the end of the post still breathing. That’s a red letter day for him…
Poor Buster, aiming to please, hoping to get a friendly owner … and busted again. This Critter is the only one I have a shred of sympathy for – maybe because he usually does not survive the episodes 😉
And this time he did make it until the end, which proves that I don’t always kill him off each time. Assuming that “filming” actually ends at the end of each post….
Confusius (sp??) say: Buster Beware! Fat gold man in future will spit your infinitives…
I think you misspelled “intestines”…
Nooooooooo, not sweet Buster!!
Yes. Always sweet Buster….
Hahaha. 🙂
Poor Buster. Quite a cold-blooded act by Santa, that nasty piece of work (just kidding, Santa, please visit me this Christmas).
Buster probably volunteered for the assignment…