Letters To Santa – Day 3

SANTA: Seymour!  I’m heading to the john to “deliver a load of coal down the chimney” and read another letter.  If anyone disturbs me, I’ll dump itching powder in your tights!

SEYMOUR: Like you did last week after I let that call from Tina go through to you?  Speaking of, isn’t that Tina’s wish list from last year you’re lugging around?

SANTA: It sure is!  It’s not as soft as Charmin, but it lasts twice as long and you can’t beat free toilet paper!  Now it’s time for Santa to sit on his real throne…

SANTA: Seriously!?!?  Reindeer are supposed to shit in the woods with the bears!  You better un-ass my toilet before I decide to have venison for Christmas dinner this year…


SANTA: Sigh, at least I’ll have a fresh load of reindeer droppings to put in the naughty kids’ stockings…

SANTA: Aw, you poor pitiful thing.  I’ll gladly make sure you get the one thing you desperately need…

Christmas morning…

TROLL: Dafuq?


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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15 Responses to Letters To Santa – Day 3

  1. I’ll second that wish, but is it possible to exchange the play station with dior boots?

  2. HAHAHAHA……Santa never disappoints…..well – almost never!


  3. BWAHAHAHHAHA!! The very thing I’ve always thought that troll needed (besides having his cap dry cleaned. It must reek…) Anyhoo. Thanks for the continuing Seasonal Snickers. Just what I wanted and all!!

  4. Maybe everyone will GET toilet paper this year. The good stuff that’s so soft are asses want to sing a hosanna!

  5. It pays to be very specific when writing to Santa. 🎅🏻

  6. draliman says:

    Yeah, don’t ever leave the choice of gift up to Santa. Not Shelf Santa, anyway…

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