SANTA: What in the twelve days of Christmas is going on!?!? I know it can get foggy up here when all this arctic ice is melting, but I can’t see my beard in front of my own face in my private cottage!
SEYMOUR: I was just here to report, sir…. one of the pipes in your sauna burst and is shooting hot water everywhere! Our workshop is full of steam as well!
SANTA: Dammit! Do you know how much it costs to get a plumber all the way out here in Bumfuck Iceland! Oh well, on the bright side, it’s too steamy for me to be able to read another stupid letter from the Shelf critters!
SCRAT THE RED NOSED SQUIRRELDEER: SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!!
SEYMOUR: Santa! Now you can see well enough to honor another child’s wish!
SANTA: Scrat with your nose so bright, won’t you go eat shit and die? Sigh… (puts on his spectacles and gets out another letter)
SANTA: You wanna see magic, huh? Let me show you how we fix EVERYTHING on planet earth…
December 25th morning…
SHADOW: What is this silvery adhesive roll? It’s certainly doesn’t have any magical properties. I see I have once again outsmarted the miserably stupid people on this pathetic rock orbiting the sun. This shiny wheel serves no practical purpose at all!
Oh, but it does Shadow! Duct tape fixes everything!
SHADOW: That’s preposterous! No sorcery can solve every problem!
This sorcery can. Here, let me show you….
SHADOW: Mphfdk mmpphhs mmmmmpppppffff!!!!!
It’s a Christmas miracle! Duct tape makes everything peachy keen again! Better living through sorcery…