Letters To Santa – Day 10

SANTA: Dafuq is he doing?

SEYMOUR: He’s charging his nose, sir!  You don’t think his battery just runs forever, do you?

SCRAT THE RED NOSED SQUIRRELDEER: (At 69% charge) SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!!

SANTA: You’ve got to be shitting me!  And where is that cord connected to…. wait, don’t tell me!  I don’t want to know!!!  I’m just going to pretend I didn’t see this and go read another miserable Shelf critter letter…

SEYMOUR: Oh Santa!  You can’t honor this sick request!  I’ll run this through the shredder and notify Chris Hansen…

SANTA: (Stomping on Seymour’s hand with his boot) I damn well WILL give this critter just what he wants!  Haven’t you learned anything at the foot of your master yet?  One naughty little girl coming right up….

Christmas morning…

SNUGGLE: Fuck yeah!  A little younger than I expected, but you won’t see Uncle Snuggie complaining!  Hey little girl!  Want a lollipop?

SNUGGLE: Whoa, bitch!!!

ZEEBA: Zeeba likes to eat her lollipops with a knife!  Why don’t you come back to my windowless tricycle, Mr. Prevert, and we’ll make this a bloody bloody Christmas!  BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD!

SNUGGLE: OW!!!  HELLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!!!!

You should’ve just asked for Big Scrat, Uncle Snuggie….

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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14 Responses to Letters To Santa – Day 10

  1. franhunne4u says:

    Now, that is the first time I will join into little Zeeba’s war cry!

  2. Proof that everyone should be CAREFUL what they wish for!!!! (although I bet Zeeba is getting HER wish….BLOOOOOOOOD!).

    Pam

  3. we are afraid, that one naughty girl will be our mama… yiiiikes!!!

  4. Always important to be very, very specific in your letters to Santa, Uncle Snuggie. Hopefully it’s been a well earned lesson.

  5. draliman says:

    Yay! I do enjoy Zeeba’s enthusiasm…

  6. Man. Beware what you wish for, because you just might get it. Then it will ‘cut’ you….. O_o

  7. Trisha says:

    Well, if anyone deserves a visit from Zeeba, it’s good old Uncle Snuggie the prevert. After her visit, he just might start missing Scrat!

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