SANTA: “Dear Satan”…… dammit!!! Don’t these critters hire proofreaders to go over their letters for stupid ass mistakes? I can’t stand dyslexics!
SEYMOUR: What do you give naughty dyslexics for Christmas, Santa? Cola?
SANTA: Dammit, Seymour! I’m the one who tells the punch lines in these skits! Don’t you have some dickless Ken dolls you could be making right now?
SCRAT THE RED NOSED SQUIRRELDEER: SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!!
SANTA: Who asked you? It wasn’t even funny! I’m gonna take a break from you amateur comedians and read another letter addressed to S-A-N-T-A….
SANTA: You want nothing….. well, you’ve got nothing!
CHIP: Well, this is odd. What happened to my Christmas tree? For that matter, what happened to my home? The Shelf Critter stage? Ummmm….. is anyone out there? Anything!?!? Why am I sitting in an endless void of……. nothing………….. goddamn you Santa!!!! This isn’t funny!!!!