SANTA: “Dear Satan”…… dammit!!! Don’t these critters hire proofreaders to go over their letters for stupid ass mistakes? I can’t stand dyslexics!
SEYMOUR: What do you give naughty dyslexics for Christmas, Santa? Cola?
SANTA: Dammit, Seymour! I’m the one who tells the punch lines in these skits! Don’t you have some dickless Ken dolls you could be making right now?
SCRAT THE RED NOSED SQUIRRELDEER: SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!!
SANTA: Who asked you? It wasn’t even funny! I’m gonna take a break from you amateur comedians and read another letter addressed to S-A-N-T-A….
SANTA: You want nothing….. well, you’ve got nothing!
CHIP: Well, this is odd. What happened to my Christmas tree? For that matter, what happened to my home? The Shelf Critter stage? Ummmm….. is anyone out there? Anything!?!? Why am I sitting in an endless void of……. nothing………….. goddamn you Santa!!!! This isn’t funny!!!!
Ask and you shall receive………………………nuttin’ !!! 🙂
How’s that song go… “I’ve got plenty of nothin’…”
Little Chip is lovely–is that a Wade figurine?
Chip’s underside says he’s Shafford Bone China. Someone I know online sent him to me after finding him at an estate sale many years ago…
Santa possesses the dark power to send poor Chip to the Nowhere Place. I’ve been a good boy, Santa, honest…
Be afraid. Be very afraid this Christmas….
Hahaha! 😀 I always knew Santa had issues.
My Santa certainly does. Though I’d have to think the real Santa has to have a screw loose with all he has to put up with…
Probably needs the bolt in his neck tightened … 😉
Yeah, Satan Koff koff koff erhum KOFF SANTA koff koff. It IS funny. But not to the one who receives that ultimate in passive aggressive ‘gifts’ – aka NOTHING. I got that once for Christmas when I’d been especially difficult to deal with around Christmas time. Or thought I did. My parents thought it would be amusing (and i can still hear them laughing) to put nothing on my Christmas “chair” (we each chose a spot for our gift enjoyment, so no maiming or assault occurred on Christmas morning between my siblings and I). Like Chip, I did not find that funny at all, and it might explain a little about why I tend to be so curmudgeonly around this time of year…
I’m the king of nothing for Christmas. I want nothing, and I’m not giving anything either. Amazingly, I’ve almost got my entire family into the fuck Christmas theme as well!
It would appear Santa is not to be triffled with this year. 🎅🏻
Remember to make sure that milk and cookies is fresh…… or else.
Poor Chip! Santa really is extra twisted this year. I’m definitely not writing him a letter and I’m tempted to wear a tin foil hat so he can’t hear the wishes in my head. I hope Chip finds his way back to the Shelf, or at least something, somewhere, soon.
The squirrels are spying for Santa, and they’ll make sure you get just what you want! With both working together, maybe you should be afraid this Christmas!
The squirrels have been peeking in my windows a lot lately! Mostly they’ve probably heard me complaining that we’re out of peanuts AGAIN, that I wish my kids would move out and that I wish our weather wasn’t so boring. There’s no telling what Santa will do with all that with the mood he’s in this year!