Letters To Santa – Day 16

SEYMOUR: Excuse me, Santa?

SANTA: What is it, Seymour?  Can’t you see I’m busy buying bulk boxes of coal from Amazon?

SEYMOUR: I just wanted to give you my Christmas wish list, sir.

SANTA: That’s not how it works, dumbass!  We grant the wishes, we’re not allowed to make them ourselves.

SEYMOUR: But Santa!  I have things I desire as well!  An iPhone, a shiny new pair of striped tights, tickets to see Burl Ives in concert…

SANTA: Tough shit!  I don’t have time to listen to the greedy requests of my elves…


SANTA: You can stuff your list as well!  I am NOT upgrading your nose bulb to an LED!  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to read a wish list I might have to actually honor…

SEYMOUR: Oh Santa!  That letter made me cry!  There must be something we can do for that poor, unfortunate critter!

SANTA: Would it be cruel if I just put him out of his misery?  Oh fuck it!  One Christmas miracle coming up…

Christmas morning…

BROTHER BEAR: Oh my, I’m…. I’m….. STANDING!!!  Oh, Santa, you’ve really made this little boy’s day!  Hmmmmm, that’s odd…. why is my Christmas tree laying down?  For that matter, so is the table, and the TV, and the bidet………. oh no!!!!  I’m cured, but now the WORLD has a manufacturing defect!!!!!


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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10 Responses to Letters To Santa – Day 16

  1. A good lesson in “be careful what you wish for”…………….. LOL


  2. jarilissima says:


  3. Bear said it – the world has a manufacturing defect. Maybe several. 😉

  4. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…be careful what you wish for. Oh, and very, very precise.

  5. draliman says:

    It’s camera trickery, Brother Bear, beware the trickster Santa!

  6. Trisha says:

    Lol! Well, at least Brother Bear had a few seconds to feel normal and he didn’t end up getting shredded by Zeeba or visited by Big Scrat so I’d say he did pretty well.

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