SANTA: You know what I love best about living at the North Pole, Seymour?
SEYMOUR: The scenic winter wonderland of the arctic?
SANTA: No, you dipshit!
SANTA: The North Poledancers!
SEYMOUR: Santa, why am I getting this strange sensation inside of my Pokeballs?
SANTA: Are you even old enough to be in this place, Seymour?
SEYMOUR: I turn 469 years old next March, sir. Which makes me a very young elf…
SCRAT THE RED NOSED SQUIRRELDEER: SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!!
SANTA: I know you’re too young to be in this gentle-elf’s club. Besides, your blood all runs to your nose, and…… well, you wouldn’t understand either. OK, time to head back into the VIP room and read another letter while Mitzi the Snow Maiden gives me a lapdance…
SANTA: Oh, for fuck’s sake! Not this bitch again! I’ve already used up all of my rain on the dancers in this club, but maybe this year……..
RAINY: Is this what I think it is!?!? It IS!!!! It’s finally RAINING!!!!! Look at it accumulate in my always empty rain gauge!!! I’m so excited right now!!!! Thank you so much, Santa!!!! Wait a minute!!! I’m inside right now! It’s not supposed to be raining inside!!!!
TROLL: Pardon me, ma’am. I’m your upstairs neighbor, and as I was taking my yearly shower, I realized that the water was seeping through the floor and I hope it hasn’t been an inconvenience to you….
RAINY: This is NOT RAIN!!!!! It’s dirty bathwater!!!! This is SO disgusting!!!!! Santa, your nostrils are going to be burning for the rest of the century when I get done with your fat, bearded ass! But first….
TROLL: Well fuck! Now I’m all smelly again, and I have 365 more days to go until my next bath! Guess I better go stock up on cheap deodorant…