SEYMOUR: I’ve got some more letters from the critters that were delivered today, Santa!
SANTA: Dammit, who even writes letters anymore? How come nobody’s emailing me their stupid lists?
SEYMOUR: Well Santa, when you set up email service here back in 1997, you moved all of the emails the critters sent you to your spam folder! So they had to resort to writing letters again.
SANTA: And did they take the hint? Hell no! Oh well, (grabs a letter from Seymour and opens it with his sharp teeth) let’s get this over with…
Christmas morning…
CAPER: Well……..????
SEYMOUR: What did they ask for, Santa?
SANTA: Ah, it was just junk mail. (Wads Caper’s letter up and tosses it aside)
SCRAT THE RED NOSED SQUIRRELDEER: (Pooping on the letter) SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!!
Evil Squirrel's Nest 
oooh da fagg we guessed it hahahahahahahahaha
Caper may have dissed Santa one time too many……having your letter to Santa pooped on is a pretty good sign that you’re on the NAUGHTY list.
Pam
And, quite literally, on the shit list as well!
Awww! Well Caper (who belongs in some odd food dish that no-one ever remembers the name of and whose taste is really strange)… did get something. She got the ‘gift’ of learning! Learning that real life sucks diseased donkey balls, and that disappointment is a thing most adults (who don’t rely on illegal substances to get them through) have to live with each day. It was a really valuable gift! I’m shocked that old fart (aka Krampus the Claus) wanted to part with it…
I have a feeling she already “received” that gift many times in the past. Hopefully by this time she wasn’t disappointed in getting it again…
Awww, poor Caper! I hope she doesn’t get so desperate for attention that she allows herself to be lured into Uncle Snuggie’s windowless race car.
If even Uncle Snuggie would ignore blatant jailbait like Caper, then she’s pretty much destined to never be noticed by anyone!
No respect; there’s just no r-e-s-p-e-c-t on the Shelf. 🦨
Hahaha! 😀
Caper the who? Who am I talking about? I’ve already forgotten…