SEYMOUR: Checking out the weather report, huh Santa?
SANTA: How very observant of you, Seymour. What if I was looking at something personal and confidential, you nosy fuck?
SEYMOUR: Oh no, Santa! Is it really going to get up to 85 degrees tomorrow? That’s going to make it one slushy launch for the big ride!
SANTA: I could give a shit less about the weather tomorrow! This is the extended forecast for Costa Rica… and I’m starting my vacation as soon as I get back Friday!
SCRAT THE RED NOSED SQUIRRELDEER: SQUEEEEEEEEEEALLLLLL!!!!
SANTA: No, you can’t go! You’re probably a delicacy down there anyway. Now that I know I can safely pack my speedo, I guess I’ll read a final letter or two…
SANTA: Well, aren’t we all pompous and pious? Alright then, I’ll set the WABAC Machine for a couple millennia ago…
Christmas morning, about 4 B.C….
TROLL: Say pal, have you seen the Baby Jesus around anywhere?
RICKY: My prayers have been answered! Someone has remembered the true meaning of Christmas!
TROLL: I’ll ask again… have you seen Baby Jesus around anywhere?
RICKY: I know a star that can point you in the right direction. Have you come to adore Him?
TROLL: What? No! I work for King Herod…
TROLL: I came to slit his little throat!
RICKY: Blasphemy! I can’t allow you to….
TROLL: Oh, won’t talk, eh? I guess one more slit throat won’t stain the desert too much…
RICKY: No! The true meaning of Christmas is supposed to be love! Not…. AAAAAAAAA!!!!!
TROLL: (Cleaning his blade) There won’t ever be a Christmas if the boss has anything to say about it!