Share Your World – Week 104

Seriously? Like I’d listen to the advice of toe fungus.

Five years ago when I was still roasting classic TV ads somewhat regularly on my blog, I wrote my tribute to the Lamisil ads of the mid 2000’s.  The makers of Lamisil realized there was a huge void in this world that could only be filled by anthropomorphizing toenail fungus into an evil Pikachu looking mascot.  Among the many things I mocked about that commercial was the print in the still you see above.  Lamisil just stopped toenail fungus from growing… what was already there had to be removed via the apparently glacier-like process by which your nails naturally grow.  Hell, in the time it takes to grow a new nail… the female uterus can create an entirely new human, and get started on making another one!

Well….. it turns out this is true.  Back in January, a heavy ass box of plates fell off the top of the pallet I was working and landed right on my big toe.  Somehow, it manged to not break my toe… but it left a nasty dark purple mark underneath the base of that toenail.  Since there wasn’t much better to do…. I watched throughout the year as that purple blob slooooooooooowwwwwwwwllllllllyyyyyyyy worked its was up the nail.  And this past weekend, it finally made it to the part where I could clips that icky looking thing off for good.  Don’t worry…. I didn’t take any pictures of it to show off.  You’ve been traumatized enough, I’m sure…

Please stop OVER-sharing your world!

And now, since the next two days are reserved for my usual year end posts… I’ll be knocking out my Share Your World responses for this week a day early.  Questions, as always, by Melanie

And now it’s time for the ball drop….

Pick three words to describe this past year.

I hold no ill will towards 2020.  It’s just a number assigned to an arbitrary 366 day period in our timekeeping records.  So I’m going to take this prompt literally and use a random word finder to come up with three words which we’ll assign to this year…

Taste – 2020 tasted like shit since I couldn’t graze off of the Golden Corral buffet.

Extra-large – 2020 was extra-large because it was a leap year.  2021 will just be a medium year.  1752 (Or 1582 outside of the British Empire) was an extra-small year.

Dinosaurs – The dinosaurs were done in by an apocalypse.  Humans will be done in by their own stupidity.

Well shit! The news was actually right for once… we’re fucked!

What were the best books you read this year?   Or the best movie you saw?

Outside of trivia packed bathroom readers, which I use to occupy dead time when I’m not at home to grow roots at the computer, I haven’t read crap.  My TV hasn’t been turned on in over a year now… and I’d strain myself to come up with one movie that’s been released in the last decade.  I prefer my culture to be highbrow…

So artsy, that it’s Theatre, not Theater.

What is one big personal lesson you learned this past year?

I am truly destined to be alone, because people drove me up the fucking wall this year.  I don’t need anyone up in my business or telling me how I should think, act, or feel…

The world can kiss my furry ass.

I’m gonna punt the last question and go straight to the finale…

What is a New Year’s Wish You’d Like To Share With the World?

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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14 Responses to Share Your World – Week 104

  1. Lamisil eh? Have never used it but have a rather healthy looking fungus on my big toe nail. Asked doc and he said”Let’s clear up your other problems first.” So I am doomed now to watch my toenail grow ever so slowly to get rid of the fugus. Maybe its time to try a fungal remover as this guy looks too happy and might start growing more fungal little parts.

    Jean

  2. Being told (by my doctor) that I’d die if I caught this virus was a genuine bummer. It’s not that he told me what to do. He just suggesting I might want to ponder his advice before I made any decisions. I pondered. I’m alive.

  3. draliman says:

    “My TV hasn’t been turned on in over a year now” – emergency… does not compute…
    I’m glad your toe is now free of unsightly purple blobs.

  4. we never heard about this wonder treatement… but it sounds not bad to us… our champagne will be not korbl but tea tonight… probably a sacrilege in france LOL

    • I’m sure Korbel would be a sacrilege in France as well… and probably not considered champagne! I learned a lot about champagne, and what can legally be called champagne in different parts of the world, by reading up on that ad.

  5. I love how your three random words spelled out “Taste Extra-Large Dinosaurs” which sounds like a perfectly good way to spend New Year’s Eve……now to find an all you can eat dinosaur buffet near me………….seriously though, here’s to another year of fun on The Shelf. It’s been a wild ride but I’d expect no less!

    Pam

  6. Let’s hear it for non-Korbel and non-purple toes in 2021. Happy New Year.

  7. Thanks Bill for Sharing Your Special World with us – ALL YEAR! Thank God that mess (2020) is OVER nearly! Here’s a toast of non-alcoholic ‘champagne’ (aka sparkling apple cider, aged because it’s sat in the back of my ‘fridge for twelve months now — do you suppose it’s ‘turned’ into actual WINE?? O_o ) to the New Year, ‘free’ of Covid (let’s hope and I’ll pray) and a certain orange asshole that makes your squirrel ass, shared delicately in that awesome photo you aired, look cute. Twenty twenty one has a LOT riding on it. I hope it don’t let us all down. And I hope I didn’t jinx things by writing that…

  8. Trisha says:

    I had a hard time reading past your caption under the dinosaur photo. For some reason, that struck me as utterly hilarious and now my eyes won’t stop watering!

    • My many years of hilarious caption writing have paid off! Somewhere lost to the ages is a binder full of newspaper photos I cut out and added funny speech balloons to back in the 90’s. Back then, I could only entertain my sisters with my fucked up humor. I’m glad I have a slightly larger forum now for my post-apocalyptic humor….

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