Get A Room

a box full of junk

Are you ready to follow the rainbow and find out what’s really there other than a pot of gold?  It’s time for another completely green edition of Random Image Inspiration!  Let’s see if the Randomator can spit out some lucky numbers that may or may not win us the Irish Sweepstakes…

13, 92, 33, 10

The 13th post in my Reader was this one by Pam

The 92nd word in that post is “and”

The 33rd word in that post is “one”

Talk about getting lucky…..

Putting “and one” into Google Images brought this up as the 10th result…

“Alright Ladies!  Here’s the room I got us for the night!”

Vinnie flashed a sleazy grin as he loosened up his collar.

“Fuck, this is a classy joint!” Candy blurted out as she took a seat on one side of the bed.  “Last dude I was with took me to some dump that left me with fleas!”

Bambi strutted to the other side of the bed, clod in boots with 8 inch heels.  “It’s a’ight,” she said as she popped the mint from the pillow between her lips.

Vinnie poured himself a strong drink and admired the two chicks he’d hired as escorts for the evening.  He loved the playboy life he could afford on his father’s inheritance.

“So, when’s the action start, huh?” Candy asked while her hand rubbed at her thigh high stockings.

“Yeah, you said you wanted to do some naughty things to us!” Bambi said as she blew a bubble with her gum, which quickly popped over her plump lips.

“Oh, I’m gonna do some naughty things to you two alright!” Vinnie smirked as he strolled up beside Bambi.  He put his hand on her shoulder, making the experienced call girl look up in anticipation of how he’d make his first move.  Vinnie patted her rather smoothly on the back………. then walked to the other side of the bed.

Bambi screwed up her face, “That’s it?  That’s some kind of crazy foreplay.”

“Turn around, Bambi!” Candy asked.  “You got something…..”

Candy grabbed a piece of paper with tape that was affixed to her back….


“What kind of a joke is…. HEY!!!!” Candy stopped short when she noticed Vinnie was running a nail file up and down her hose, causing a nasty run.  Candy looked down in horror.  “Hey, this shit ain’t cheap!  This is genuine Victoria’s Secret lingerie, buddy!”

“Oh, how silly of me,” Vinnie smiled while chomping on a cigar.  “Here, let me reimburse you for your loss!”  Vinnie pulled a hundred dollar bill out of his coat pocket and held it up in front of Candy.  As she reached for it, Vinnie jerked the bill back, causing Candy’s momentum to fling herself onto the floor.

“What’s the big idea!?!?” Bambi demanded as she jumped off the bed and confronted Vinnie… who continued to enjoy himself at the girls’ expense by yanking the military hat Bambi was wearing down over her eyes.

“Bambi, we should leave!” Candy growled as she pulled herself up off the floor.

“I don’t think so,” Vinnie retorted.  “I paid for a full night of company with the both of you, and I don’t intend to bother your employer for a refund.”

“Most guys with two hot blondes would have already got their money’s worth in the bed with us!” Bambi said.  “All you’ve done is…… is……”

“Do naughty things to you!” Vinnie smiled again!

The girls looked at each other in shock.  Candy twirled at the handcuffs she’d brought along for the occasion. “But….. but…. aren’t we going to have…..”

“Sex?” Vinnie asked.  “Of course not!  I’m gay!  I’m just a spoiled asshole who likes to do…..” Vinnie turned his back towards the girls and rather rudely passed gas.  “Naughty things to people!”

It was going to be the longest night of Candy and Bambi’s life…


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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12 Responses to Get A Room

  1. holy god!!!!! but well at the end this idea has something…. I will remember it, maybe I need it sometimes LOL

  2. “Vinnie” would get a nasty shock if Bambi and Candy were as hard-boiled as some of their colleagues. I know what I’d do to such a creature and it would involve the old ‘twist and pull’ maneuver that is rumored to make men’s eyes water and can do permanent damage to the ‘boys’. “Vinnie” is a jerk, so maybe it wouldn’t have the same effect though… Hmmmm

    • Vinnie doesn’t like it when people do naughty things to him. He cries and runs home to his mommy to get told he’s “special.” On the plus side, there will never be a Vinnie, Jr…. nut twist or not.

  3. Well there’s NAUGHTY and there’s NAUGHTY…….ya know?


  4. Vinnie isn’t naughty, he’s just mean. Bad form, Vinne.

  5. draliman says:

    Vinnie is indeed a very naughty boy. I stress “boy”, as it sounds like he never really grew up. Candy and Brandi (not their real names) are in for a wild ride (just not the sort of ride they were expecting)!

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