“Life sucks, man! I’ve been locked up in this prison for 30 (pronounced: thoity) years now! They can’t keep Scruffy The Nutjob behind bars forever! I gotta bust out of this joint! Get back on the outside! Where the acorns are plentiful, and the dames don’t look like that one guy Bubba who keeps feeling me up in the shower! There’s gotta be a way out of here somehow!
Oh, wait! I’m a squirrel, and I know how to scale fences! This is it…. I’m goin’ for it! Keep a lookout for the guards while I escape, guys!”
“I did it! I made it to the top of the fence! This is the first (pronounced: foist) time I’ve seen the outside since the Berlin Wall fell and Milli Vanilli was all over the radio! I wonder if they’re still pop stars? I gotta make a run for it! I’m sure there’s a payphone around here somewhere I can call my girl (pronounced: goil) from! I hope she didn’t forget me while I was in here and go with that loser Vinnie! I’ll moidalize that bum if he touched my sweet Sue! Boy it sure looks different out here all these years later! I hope I can adjust to life back on the outside, away from three squares a day, all the cable TV I can watch, free gym membership, free prison tats…………..”
“On second thought…. maybe the inside isn’t go bad after all. After all this climbing, I think I’ll take a nice, hot shower. Don’t anyone dare tell Bubba!!!”
We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode of Saturday Squirrels in Sing Sing!
Have a great weekend everyone!
Evil Squirrel's Nest 
Oh goodie! I hope this is a new feature on the blog. “Saturday Squirrels in Sing Sing” – has a nice ring to it…..
Pam
It does…. but like “Oz,” I’d probably only be able to air it late at night once all the kids have gone to bed.
More of his gang is in our backyard… 😉
The sciurine mafia has infiltrated just about everyone’s territory. Pay the acorn protection fees or…… well, it’d be ashamed if anything bad happened to that nice patio furniture over there.
Attica! Attica!
Beware the squirrel uprising…
Squirrels patrol the wires and control the electricity. They could bring us to our knees at any time….
Sometimes the yard just really isn’t greener on the outside. 😉 Happy weekend.
I prefer it on The Inside as well. Free internet access!
Now I knows the name of that squoil (pronounced “squirrel”) that used to sit on my chain link fence and tease my dogs by walking back and forth and sitting up. I swear it was laughing. Tings is better in da joint in some respects I suppose.
I’ll bet he taunts the prison’s guard dogs as well…
He has become institutionalised, poor little squirrel.
As long as he’s happy….. or he thinks he’s happy.
Gives “Say hello to my little friend” a whole new meaning!
A squirrel is a good “little friend” to have handy when you want to scatter a crowd…
I’m terrified. Our apartment complex is warning us to keep the trash bins closed and advising us to wait until the trash is picked up before putting trash in the bin. Squirrels are everywhere.
Oh my, you might be on the front lines of the long anticipated squirrel uprising! If they’re scaring off the raccoons and possums, you know they mean business…
I heard that there’s a safe house for skwirls at toidy toid and one toid street.