The New Green

a box full of junk

It’s time to take the lid off of the giant tampon box full of images that litter the internet and choose one to write something completely fucked up about.  Welcome to another semi-regular Wednesday edition of Random Image Inspiration!  Whatever shall the Randomator offer up in pixelated fodder this time?

4, 82, 92, 38

The 4th post in my Reader was this one by Melanie (Click it!  You know you want to read about Lamias…)

The 82nd word in that post is “remove”

The 92nd word in that post is “became”

Putting “remove became” into Google Images brought this up as the 38th result…

“Daddy!  I’m going up on the wall to watch the dump!”

“Alright, Princess!  Just be careful…”

“That’s a pretty huge factory, Dave.  No wonder your town is so dirty and the air so (cough!) nasty.”

“Eh, that’s a place called New Green.  Without it, we’d be a ghost town.  It’s what you’d call a ‘necessary evil.'”

“Seems like an ironic name for such a blight on the landscape.  What does it produce?”

“Damned if I know.”

“You have a giant plant in town and don’t know what they make there?”

“Nobody knows, Bob.  It’s some kind of government secret and only their men work there.  All we know is that when the smokestacks are belching out a steady stream of black plumes, the next day a bunch of trucks will be lined up at the end of that chute over there to load up on whatever comes out.”

“Seems awfully fishy to me.  I’ll bet this lake used to be beautiful before the industry showed up.  My sister’s an environmental activist, and I’ll bet her group would be all over this place…”

“Oh, we get lots of activists who come to town to try and get New Green shut down.  In fact, they had a huge rally in front of the gates just the other day.  Hundreds of people with megaphones and signs demanding it be closed and turned into a park.”

“Good for them, I say!  Maybe one day they’ll listen and turn your town into a livable place again.”

“I doubt it.  Usually right after one of those big environmental protests, New Green cranks up production even higher than normal.  Almost like they’re mocking them.”

“What balls!  I should alert my sister’s bunch to this.  They’ll join forces and really put the pressure on those filth barons!”

“I don’t think the group’s in town anymore.  The gates have been quiet the last two days again.  The out of towners are always gone the next day.”

“Well, that’s slacktivism if I’ve ever seen it!  What cowards!  One little rally, and they get back in their SUV’s and go home like they actually made a difference.  I’m calling my sis about this right now!  Her bunch’ll show these green hipsters how to get some action!”

“You probably shouldn’t…”

“Hello, Susie?  Bob here!  Say, you know that giant factory down in Pleasant Valley?  Yeah, that’s the name of it, New Green!  This thing’s almost singlehandedly killing off the earth!  You think your group’d like to come down and…… what?  You guys won’t come near this place?  Disappearances?  What do you mean the activists who come to this town always disappear?”


“Hold on, sis…”

“What is it, Princess?  Did you have fun watching the dump?”

“It was SO COOL, Daddy!!!  About a jillion trucks showed up today to get dumped in!!!”

(To Bob) “The things that kids find to be entertaining!”

“And Daddy!  One of the New Green trucks had an extra word on its trailer where it’s usually all painted over!!!”

“How interesting, Princess!”

“Daddy!  What does the word “Soylent” mean?”

“Never heard of it, Princ….”

“Oh, Bob, you dropped your phone.  Are you OK?  Bob?”


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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16 Responses to The New Green

  1. that’s real life isn’t it?

  2. The earth’s gotta feed all the gazillion people (well the EARTH doesn’t, but that leads to starvation and ugly horrifying pictures of little tiny children with mainly rib cages and big eyes) . The tosspots who run factories like “New Green” (it’s what’s for dinner) don’t see the huge irony in the fact that their factory takes up land that might be better used to grow natural food (no GMOs…say! Isn’t Soylent Green, whether new or old, the ULTIMATE GMO?) which might feed a tiny portion of that gazillion? Maybe someone can divide what there is and make more of it… sorta a ‘loaves and fishes 2021 version..” Thanks for honoring my humble post about creatures that never existed with your wonderful input!

    • Hey, there’s nothing more organic than soylent green! No artificial ingredients or preservatives needed. And it confronts the starvation problem on two ends! Oh, they should have never introduced me to Utilitarianism in college philosophy classes… it makes too much sense to me.

  3. Gosh I hadn’t thought about that movie “Soylent Green” in ages but it of course popped into my empty head with this post….Anyway, that’s a really interesting photo and backstory for it. I’m sure there will be a few sleepless nights ahead as we contemplate the reality (or possibility) of it all. EEEEK.


    • Living in a town full of plants like that, the photo certainly stirred the imagination as to what it was (literally) churning out. Maybe they just make Man-Eating Otter Chow…

  4. noelleg44 says:

    Nice take! I have been thinking about soylent green a little more these days – wondering when our government will get there!

  5. I think this is the stuff from which McDonald’s makes it hamburgers. Because I’m pretty sure it isn’t beef.

  6. draliman says:

    It is such a waste of good protein, burying people, letting the “disruptive element” live and whatnot.

  7. Trisha says:

    Well, I guess we always knew it would come to this. I worry when I read about the zero waste agenda because you know the plan is to feed us all the yucky stuff!

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