Dafuq, mate?
Despite a short three night workweek, I wound up with a couple of stories interesting enough for this week’s SYW intro. The first involved a couple who came into the store right before closing desperately looking for a heater…. which we pretty much haven’t had in stock since February due to their seasonality. They were just aghast that we didn’t have one… and when I informed them that we generally only carry heaters during the winter, they replied “We’re from Texas, it IS winter outside!” It was a mild-for-Spring 60 degrees at 11 PM that evening.
The other involved a new item for our hardware department that caught my eye and made me do a double and triple take. Apparently, Mecca’s about to get into the bidet replacement part business! Bidets don’t strike me as the kind of home “appliance” that most regular Americans have… especially those who would shop at Mecca. But who knows? Maybe last year’s Great TP Crisis made a lot of people make the environmentally friendly choice to install a fucking bidet. Though I seriously doubt a lot of ordinary people here even know what a bidet is..,.
It’s for washing your backside, right?
Good guess, Paul. Good guess….
And now, for something a little less disgusting than cleaning your crack…. this week’s Share Your World questions! As always, provided by Melanie…
What would be the worst “buy one get one free” sale of all time?
Greetings! We’re your male escorts for the evening!
Have you ever gotten a really bad haircut? Do share!
I always think I look goofy after I’ve had a haircut. There’s not one that stands out, nor that I would consider as bad of a haircut as Buster recently got…
Oops! That was a LOT off the top. My bad! Let me get you a hot towel…
Isn’t Disney Land and Disney World (and all the variants) just a people trap operated by a mouse?
Disney isn’t operated by a mouse. It’s operated by Satan Himself. Anyone who’s ever wasted money there more than deserves to feel ripped off…
Say “CHEESE!”, rats….
What if Batman got bitten by a vampire? What would happen?
Campy 60’s comedy would ensue…
Holy Hormonal Teenagers, Batman! You should really get that infected hickey seen by a doctor!
What do you want your final words to be if you could choose?
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Wait for it……
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Famous last words to live by….
Please feel free to share some gratitude!
How about another random funny from The Nest’s past? Ah, lawyers….
Evil Squirrel's Nest 
Thank you, Bill (aka Evil Squirrel) for Sharing Your World!! Your ‘warm-up’ stories are always so welcome! Let’s hope the water in that bidet is warm too, or someone’s in for a helluva shock. More litigation for frozen ‘berries’ and the whole shrinkage factor could ensue! At least it would keep the lawyers off the streets, right? Excellent choice of last words…perfect. If I had room in my toidy space and spare money just lying around without purpose, I’d get a bidet. Last year taught me that people are insane enough to find t.p. a hoardable item. Have a great week and congrats on the three-night work week. I hope it didn’t affect your bottom (*snicker*) line any…
The thought of water spraying up my asscrack just gives me the willies…. even if it was warm! I’ll stick with the paper…. I’ve always got an extra package on hand, just like I had last year when people went nuts.
I know just how those people from TX feel – 60 degrees is definitely winter here. Our space heater is on it’s last legs, so to speak, and we tried to find another one – none to be found.
Winter clearance usually starts in February, and with how cold it was that month, the cold weather supply’s probably long gone in most of the country. I warn everyone to make sure you have your winter stuff before New Years, or you’re taking a big chance of not being able to find something when you need it!
I’m with you in wondering about the Mecca customer and the need for bidet parts. It sounds implausible, but I’m sure TPTB in Bentonville know exactly what they’re doing.
No doubt… they probably even have bidets at the Home Office. Who knows, it may be the hot item for Christmas…
We actually bought bidets during the giant catastrophic lack of TP. As it turns out, they are really great. It’s nice coming out clean. I don’t know why people think it’s weird to wash yourself rather than, you should pardon me for speaking so bluntly, smearing the shit around with paper. It’s a MAJOR improvement. We have one for each toilet (three). Also useful for other cleaning purposes. Clean, clean, clean!
I have no doubt they’d do a better job…… but even the thought of using one of those moist towelettes down there gives me the heebie jeebies. It’s possible I’ve missed an explosion (no pun intended) in the market for bidets, but they still seem to me like something you’d find abroad or in a mansion and not in everyday lower middle class suburbia….
Your answer to the question about bad haircuts reminded me of the time I dumped my high school boyfriend because he looked goofy after getting a haircut. Luckily my husband isn’t that shallow because I just gave myself a haircut and…well, it’s not good. But it turned out better than Buster’s haircut, so there is that.
LOL! Poor guy! At least I never had to worry about getting dumped over a bad haircut since there was nobody to dump me. That kid probably wishes he’d just went to Hair by Snuggle…
The bidet thing was something we’d never experienced (so to speak) until first trip to Europe many years ago – fortunately you had the choice of using it or not using it and I was in the “not” category. Just seemed a little too – um – WET for me. Anyway, we are in the “not for us” camp – I prefer searching for toilet paper to that WET feeling – now if they came with a warm air dryer I might consider it (hahahahahahahahaha).
Pam
It wouldn’t be too hard to just take one of those hand dryers off the wall and lay it on the floor! Then you could have clean and dry buns!
Now you’re talkin’ !
With family members living in Texas, I tease them all the time after being cold. A bigger worry should be why the AC comes on in February in my mind.
The AC is barred from coming on in this house until at least May. I’ve sweated out some early summer Aprils before… but I refuse to pay for cool air THAT early in the year!
Wait, you don’t sell heaters but you do sell spare parts for bidets? That’s pretty random. I bet Mr Fox would have a lot to say about that…
Now you’ve given me the idea that Mr. Fox would be the perfect customer service person at work! I could station him anywhere there are rude and obnoxious customers, and he’d just politely stare and never talk back when they went on some tirade over something silly…
Ying and Yang as my personal escorts? I can barely handle one Siamese twin!! I need Mitzi…
Mitzi’s holed up at Fuzzy’s house right now. Something about it being 4/20 today….
I bet Ying and Yang would be having a ripper of a time…