Keynut Speaker

Can I get a little Pomp and Circumstance?

Boys and squirrels of the Class of 2021….

Today marks a huge a milestone in your sciurine lives.  For the past 18 weeks, you’ve climbed the ranks from kindergarten to high school… and for much of that time you probably wondered what practical use any of those lessons would have in your adult lives.

No doubt, you found algebra to be a bore…. yet its mathematical foundation will help you know when your cache of acorns has been pilfered from.

Squirrel History probably didn’t excite you very much… yet knowing how to avoid our enemies like humans and hawks will keep you from repeating the mistakes of your ancestors.

You may not have been very interested in physical education… yet that training will save your life the first time you need to make a midair jump from 150 feet off the ground.

Those language arts lessons you despised will come in handy when you need to alert your comrades that there’s a dog in the vicinity.

Those mind-numbing physics equations will keep you from starving during the winter when the only available food is in a lofty birdfeeder that the humans think you can’t access.

I could go on and on, but you get the point.  The time you spent in school when you’d have rather been out chasing your friends all over the street will be the key to your success as adult squirrels.  I am so very proud of all each and every one of you in the 2021 Class of Saturday Squirrels….

Now…. go out there and grab life by the nuts!!!!!


And have a great weekend everyone!


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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19 Responses to Keynut Speaker

  1. A very moving ceremony……The Keynut Speaker did a fine job indeed – did they each get a diploma printed out on the back of an empty McDonald’s fries container????


  2. That was a very moving, yet nutty speech. I’m so glad I was here for it, lol. He/ she is a graceful speaker indeed, not to mention cute as a button!

  3. noelleg44 says:

    What a great picture! So proud, and giving a good speech, too. Where does the Speaker go from here? Nutbridge College?

  4. Kismet says:

    What is the percentage of students going on to further education? Maybe they’ll get a Masters in Nutology.

  5. Rivergirl says:

    Ha! Love it. And grab life by the nuts is perfect.

  6. mydangblog says:

    We just discovered that the little cheeks had found their way into the cupboard where I’d hidden the bag of peanuts. I don’t begrudge it a bit–they’re all looking lovely and plump right now:-) I’ll just call it a ‘graduation present\!

  7. Inspiring! I shall leap foreword and nutify. 🙂

  8. draliman says:

    And here was me thinking it was all instinct and taught by the squirrels parents…

    • Nah… squirrel parents have apparently gotten as lazy as the human parents. Squirrels gotta learn it in school, or on the streets (or in the trees, I’d guess)….

  9. I’ll be humming that “Pomp and Circumstance” song all day now. 🎓

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