Sting was a man ahead of his time…
Onto #8 on my little pre-SYW countdown of items that are ubiquitous at retail stores today that weren’t as popular or easy to find when I began my illustrious stocking career in 1998. This week’s entry is one that everyone’s nose but my own will probably enjoy….. scented candles! 23 years ago, unless you went to a specialty home decor store, if you wanted to buy an aromatic fire hazard for your home, you were pretty much limited to the likes of what you’d find in the Glade section of the then-small air freshener aisle.
But by the mid 2000’s, scented candles became big enough to merit their own entire section in a more prominent place in the store rather than share space with the crappy Renuzits and Stick Ups. And then they introduced the bane of every shelf stocker’s existence, those fucking packs of scented wax cubes you can melt in little kilns shaped like dragons or squirrels or bongs. We sell so much of this toxic artificial scented garbage that I swear it’d likely be a health hazard if I ever went into another person’s home. If you ever get invited to The Nest… be warned, it smells all natural. You will know as soon as you walk in the door that I have a cat, and that both the cat and myself poop….
Maybe not in the same place…. Ody would kill me in my sleep if I borrowed his box.
OK, now that I’ve unleashed the fire hose on all of the candles… let’s further clear the air by sharing our world! Questions, as always, by Melanie…
I can’t believe I forgot to put an official SYW logo in this post! I’m getting old…
What inanimate object do you wish you could eliminate from existence?
Well, I don’t know if it’s technically inanimate since they kinda vibrate, but…..
Even better if they took the person’s hand with them when they all exploded…
What tells you the most about a person?
My top secret dossier I have on every person living in the world today. I have a very efficient network of spies who easily get me information on anyone I need to know about…
Millions of eyes in the sky… and they all report to me!
What is something you thought would be easy until you tried it?
Brain surgery. I don’t know how many possums I tried it on before I realized that there’s a reason it’s used as a euphemism for something that’s very difficult…
Then again, maybe the issue was with my surgical assistant…
What ridiculous and untrue, yet slightly plausible, theories can you come up with for the cause of common ailments like headaches or cavities?
There is no such thing as a ridiculous and untrue theory on anything. If you can believe it, then it’s real…
Would you believe a unicorn with a headache and a cavity? Or that I could still draw?
Gratitude Section:
Drawing him reminded me that I thought Rainbow Donkey’s “birthday” was sometime around now. It turns out next Thursday will be the 12th anniversary of the first time I drew him (also the same day I officially moved into my current Nest), so in his honor, one of my very favorite comics…
Evil Squirrel's Nest 
First things first – Happy Birthday Rainbow Donkey……and yes you can still draw and yes we wish you’d do that once in a while. Now – onward to the answers to Melanie’s questions. I totally agree about smart/dumb phones – I can’t believe almost everyone walks around with that thing in their hands so they can be in constant communication with the world. Not me. When I’m not home I’m not reachable. Yes I live in the dark ages and yes I like it just fine thank you. Now….what’s for breakfast? As long as it doesn’t have any possum in it………..oh and scented candles? They make me sneeze.
Pam
Possum scented candles? Oh wait, that was two different thoughts! But I’m sure it’ll give Mecca ideas…
I am quite happy with my smartphone, without being a Smombie. I use it sensibly. Calendar, shopping list, jigsaw puzzles, camera and ebook-app – the world is my oyster. I also stuff it away in my backpack when I do not expect to have much time between trains/busses …
And I certainly do not check it any two minutes to see if my sister has send me an emoji to comment on the funny meme I send her a second ago …
I laughed at your ansers, but yes brain surgery is a hard thing…. in some cases you can not find it LOL
For some people, you just have to look in the “other end” for it…
Thanks, Bill for Sharing Your World! Happy Felicitations to Rainbow ‘Donkey’ (say! Is that a hybrid I spot there? I didn’t know donkeys and unicorns got it together…the maintenance level doesn’t match, sorta like that racehorse/cart-horse idea everyone’s always banging on about). Your artistic skills are still fresh and exciting and the cartoon was just the thing to perk up my morning biscuit! Great answers to all the questions, in your usual unique style! Have a wonderful week and thanks for all your service! (I bet you don’t hear that too often. Wait. You work nights, right? So who is going to tell you?)
Every one of your questions this week was tailor made for me to come up with a smartass answer for! One thing I forgot to do was add one of the many colorful Share Your World logos to the post! So I had to take care of that, even though the only way to edit something already posted is to use #@$&*( Block, which has a shitty media uploader even on the classic toolbar…
Even more difficult is to operate on your own brain.
Not if you remove it first and set it on the table…
Love the comic and your drawings! Happy Birthday to Rainbow Donkey/Unicorn!
P.S. I like scented candles and also have one of those waxy cube melting stations. 🙂
I think everyone has one of those melting things…. we sell tons of them!
You have a “stocking career”? Ooh la la. Or are you talking about shelves…
Happy birthday, Rainbow donkey!
Better than a stalking career… that could get me in trouble.
For you the squirrel enthusiast. They are smart, be afraid, be very afraid.
Squirrels are intelligent and determined enough to do pretty much whatever they want. They’ll have us running through mazes for their amusement after they take over…
Wow. Time really HAS flown! I kind of remember the early days of Rainbow Donkey. It’s been almost 10 years. Sheesh!
We share your disgust of candles and those gawd awful plug ins. They’re a sure way to plug up my sinuses in 30 seconds or less. Makes you wonder what is in those things?