Just wonderful, flower child. Now where’s the cannabis in that garden of yours?
1998 was a long time ago. It was the year I started at Mecca, and it was a whole different store back then. Onto #6 in my countdown of items that were not readily available 23 years ago that have since exploded to take over entire counters… and that would be T-shirt decorating kits! I remember in ES’s early days about a decade ago it occurred to me that it would be neat to try and actually put one of my designs on a shirt as a gift. I remember finding exactly one type of T-shirt making set that involved something I’ve never owned in my life… an iron.
Now…. T-shirt decorating materials are so popular that we actually sell basic, cut-rate T-shirts in the craft aisle along with the rainbow of colored dye and goop that is going to stain your carpet as much as any shirt. As if the slime craze of 2016 wasn’t bad enough news for unicorns by raising the country’s production of glue, here came this rainbow themed do-it-yourself craze that has just about bled the earth’s resources of color dry. And no, nobody’s going to wear that ugly tie dye shirt you made… you may as well just use it as a rag to clean out the sump pump…
Now, let’s put on our tuxedo T-shirt so we look all formal and shit while answering this week’s Share Your World questions from Melanie!
I think this logo was made with tie dye paint…
What activity instantly calms you?
Throwing myself out in front of a speeding bus. I may involuntarily twitch a few times afterwards, but for the most part, I end up completely calm and in deep meditation…
Let me show you a better way to calm yourself, dude…
What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve done lately?
Typing FART PUDDLES. Just now! Completely spontaneous and off the cuff…
If Rainy goes off, that’s just what we’ll get…
If people receive a purple heart for bravery, what would other color hearts represent?
RED HEART – Awarded for those who fell victim to Zeeba’s blood lust…
This award has always been presented posthumously.
ORANGE HEART – Awarded annually for the world’s worst head of state…
I am truly honored to have received this award four years in a row!
YELLOW HEART – Awarded to those who suffered eyestrain trying to read this line…
Or those brave enough to eat the yellow snow…
GREEN HEART – Awarded to those who pollute the environment in an effort to save it…
Al Gore silently applauds from behind the wheel of his Hummer…
BLUE HEART – Awarded to those who have survived an extended period of blue balls…
Sometimes, the award just isn’t worth the effort to win it…
BLACK HEART – Awarded to those brave enough to wear the world’s most hideous bikini in front of a national audience…
Alright, Joan, you win again! Now please…. put it away!!!
PINK HEART – Awarded to those who can actually resist Mitzi’s charms…
Good luck with that vow of chastity, Ricky…
What is the bravest thing you’ve ever done or witnessed someone else do?
Either my expectations are pretty high, or I’ve just been around cowards my whole life. Or maybe I’m just not big on the whole hero mystique we Amurricans seem to love. Someone could crawl into a burning car and save three kids right on my street, and I’d probably just roll my eyes and go back to fucking around on my computer like before I was interrupted by those stupid screams for help…
Sorry, sir, but my attorney advises me I can’t be sued by your estate for possible negligence if I don’t intervene.
How do you show gratitude to the people you respect?
The best thing you can do for someone you have respect for is not try to fuck them over. I’m not big on thank yous and attaboys… actions speak louder than empty words spoken only out of politeness or expectation.
Good! Because I shouldn’t talk with my mouth full!
Evil Squirrel's Nest 
Thanks, Bill for Sharing Your World! That’s one happy squirrel at the end there! And someone very kind-hearted (no black hearts please) who provided that buffet on a string! Nom nom nom… Your heart colors were GREAT, but damn. My eyes, my eyes!! Some things can’t be unseen once they’re seen (well I guess EVERYTHING anyone sees can’t be unseen…sorry, my meds haven’t kicked in properly yet). I want to thank you sincerely again for taking that multiple X (in size dude, not in sex appeal) off your sidebar. That did sear my eyeballs, again and again and made me sad a little bit, because he looked like hubby, sitting there in his tighty whiteys trying to find his d*** for some personal satisfaction. TMI? Yeah I tend to do that. *sigh* Anyway have a fabulous week and thanks for the squirrels!! Awesome. R.I.P. to Buster too. He gives his all, several times a day, don’t he?
The Nest is a TMI factory, so it’s only fair we get as much ewwww as we give.
thanks for my yellow heart!!! I’ve tried to make rainbow pants that way… I was close to get the red heart too :O))
You need unicorn hair to make rainbow pants. Maybe McDonald’s can donate what they don’t put in the burgers…
Wow 😆 Also, Fart Puddles sounds like the worst name for a pet ever… I love it.
I used to have a cat that could have been named that! I won’t go into detail, but….. I had to clean up fart puddles everywhere!
Uh, please, don’t go into more detail 😂
Now I realize why my eye doctor has been sending me reminders to get my eyes checked. Yellow??? Argh…
I was going to add a white heart as well just to really mess with people!
😈
The bravest thing my peep ever did was be in the car when sister was learning to drive.
Some people are still a hazard to be with even after they learn to drive…
Dammit, I missed out on a Yellow Heart by cunningly highlighting the text instead of eyestraining myself. Is there some other colour for being cunning?
Yes, you get the invisible heart! Here you go…. no, it’s in my other hand. Come on, take it already!
Uhoh……I also cheated to avoid eyestrain and highlighted the yellow…..do I get points for that? I don’t think I’ve ever done anything brave before. I’ve done things that were out of my comfort zone but not really BRAVE….well….unless you count getting married twice in my life (so far).
Pam
Some people would consider getting married to be more foolish than brave! Don’t forget to highlight the yellow print on the marriage license…
I’ve never thought about what other color hearts should be given out. Your choices are interesting and as idiosyncratic as you are. I’d say good job, but you might interpret that as being insincere, so I’ll just wave *good-bye*
LOL! Well played, and you get a gold heart for paying attention to my post!
1998 was a long time ago? I beg to … oops … it WAS a long time ago … I turned 30 that year and it still was a long time ago … Now you have made me feel old. Like – really old … I need that kind of reality check. thanks. I think.
The halfway point of my life is now somewhere in late June of 1998… and moving forward at 12 hours per day. I feel plenty old already without thinking of such things…
Those are interesting color heart awards! Did you have to give Uncle Same an orange tint? If not, it’s interesting how he has an orange hue….
I’m always amazed by stories about people running into burning buildings and things like that to save other people. My instincts are always to get away from danger so I’m not sure I could do that. Maybe for my dogs!
I am not responsible for Uncle Sam’s orangeness… he already had it long before anyone thought that doofus could even get elected!
We have to watch videos and hear lectures all the time on what to do if someone comes into the store and starts shooting everything up. The first thing they always say is to run AWAY from the gunfire. Well, duh….. you’d think. But some people would probably run TOWARDS it to get some good video for their Facebook page.