Weekend Threesome – 6/20/21

Sharing my week that was is as easy as one, two, three!  Here’s a trio of observations that shouldn’t take you away from your Sunday brunch (as opposed to Wednesday linner) for very long…

While on one of my walks this week, the house at the corner that marks the halfway point of my 2.7 mile jaunts had its automatic sprinklers on…. which were positioned right by the sidewalk, and of course, sprayed both ways.  Through fortunate timing, I happened to pass while they were pointed away… preventing me from having to finish the walk soaked on a sunny day.

it’s like passing a kid armed with a hose…

That being said…. I’m on record with despising yard work.  But hey, to each their own.  If you want to bust your balls to make your yard look like it belongs in a gated community country club, knock yourself out.  But for Dog effing sakes…. QUIT WASTING WATER ON YOUR FUCKING “LAWN!!!!!”

Seriously, it rains enough to keep the grass looking decent.  And when it doesn’t….. well, you probably shouldn’t be using water on frivolous things like your lawn anyway.  During the drought of 2012, when we went about three summer months without rain with triple digits temps, you could tell who the lawn watering assholes were by whether their precious lawns looked like the Mojave Desert or the lush green fields of Ireland.  Never mind that pesky water restriction that the city didn’t bother enforcing… probably because most of our officials had Irish yards themselves.

This lawn looks just as good as yours, water wasting prick!

Stop the insanity already!  There are thirsty kids in China who are more important than your damn lawn!

From my trusty weather source…

We hit a record high of 101 on Friday, beating the old record of 100 from 1953. It is also the hottest temperature in nearly 4 years, since July 22nd, 2017 when we hit 108.

Yeah, it was pretty warm Friday…. not that you could tell by the fact that my neighbor picked that day, of all days, to cut their grass.  Even the squirrels were out and about until late morning… which is very unusual for them to be active when it’s that warm.

Almost…. (pant) made it….. to….. (pant) the shade!

You know what’s more frustrating than having to reset a blinking digital clock that’s one minute ahead?

Hmmmmm? Sorry, I’m constipated at both ends…

Getting lunch on Friday and finding out the price of my usual’s gone up a dime, which with tax took it from $11.90 to $12.01.  And of course, I only brought a $20 bill with me….

More gold for the Shelf’s treasury!

The four pennies went in my cup holder……… for next time!

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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18 Responses to Weekend Threesome – 6/20/21

  1. I’m with you on the watering the lawn thing. The only time we have EVER watered ours was when we’d paid a landscaper some bucks to dump topsoil and plant seed in our bald spots. We had to water that for a week morning and night for 15 minutes. We wound up only doing that twice because we had rain! You have a bucket full (well three buckets) of change. I would say you have plenty of change for tolls but these days road tolls are in the dollar range rather than “change range”.

    Pam

    • Those change buckets were cashed in two years ago… and you won the guess the $$$ prize that got the Mitzi goes to the moon episode of SCT made! Thankfully, I don’t live in an area with road tolls… and the only bridge across the river that used to be toll was, ironically enough, the one that literally looked a good windstorm away from crashing down. And just another reason I hate going anywhere NEAR Chicago!

  2. Living in an HOA (Home Owner’s Association) my “yard'” (which is apparently 3 feet around the foundation of my actual house and the rest of it belongs to THEM (HOA). Of course if the lawn looks shitty, it’s suddenly MY problem and not theirs. The standard color of lawn in this non-gated community (which for the price of the HOA fee, should be gated and an armed and vicious guard posted at the gate besides) is a non-uniform green. This year my own “patch” is greenISH, with broad swathes of yellow and sandy colored grass (dead and dying apparently). Because there is a thing called a grub up here that infests the lawns and kills whole swathes off. The HOA scratches their heads and says things like “We need to DO something about those grubs” but nothing much has happened so far. So I’m with the green, green grass of home (even though Utah IS a desert in theory). One rebel in my fair community wanted to xeriscape his own yard (the wealthy folk who live on the east side of this place and own their whole parcel of property are supposed to be allowed to do what the hell they like with that property, save that they do SOMETHING and don’t just leave things as is, like when this land used to be a cow pasture. He was firmly turned down and cautioned that xeriscaping didn’t fit in with the ‘theme’ of the park. I’d actually prefer xeriscaping if I had my way, because although I don’t own my own lawn, I pay for the water to maintain it. Another hidden clause in the HOA set of rules. Any way you like your grass (save Fuzzywig’s way of course). Planting that kind of grass might kill off the whole HOA Board, who are fairly rigid and uniformly old and certain that mar-ju-wanna is the devil’s drug.

    • Fuck HOA’s! I didn’t know such evil entities existed until around the time I moved to my current house, and I’m so glad I can look ghetto without anyone (save the occasional city busybody) caring. I say start a pot farm just for the hilarity! Can you imagine millions of stoned grubs suddenly getting a bad case of the munchies…

  3. draliman says:

    I seem to recall one year when there was a big drought in the US, a news channel sent a drone around and you could see the rich people’s lawns all green and lush…

    • The US is big enough that there’s usually a drought going on somewhere at any time. It’s also big enough that the rich assholes are spread out enough that anywhere there’s a lack of rain, you’ll find lush green yards!

  4. Agreed! Watering lawns is so wasteful and hard on the environment. Xeriscape or lay fake turf if green is so important.

    • Unfortunately, the yard care gene is one that’s too firmly implanted in most American men. And our commercials take advantage of that by having big burly manly men advertising grass seed and herbicides…

  5. Mer O'Leary says:

    Damn! You’re right up there with Scrooge McDuck and his money vault!!

  6. Kismet says:

    We don’t water our astroturf, no water wastage. Plus we’re having a cold snap=only 109F today.

  7. randomlyerin says:

    We got up to 105 last Thursday, and my dumbass took the dog out into the pool we have on the back deck. That water is what will end up on my lawn when I have to drain the fucking thing because I can’t keep the leaves and cottonwood fuzz out of it.

    • Backyard pools are nothing but junk collectors. Back in the days when we didn’t have AC, they were nice for relief, but I’d rather chill out inside than sit in a giant tub full of tree sperm…

  8. Hold on to your wallet. I think prices on everything will be going up. Including the water bill for those knuckledraggers who feel compelled to water their lawns every. single. day. in triple. digits. Can’t do anything for the clueless. 👿

    • I work in retail, I’ve already seen the prices go up! Don’t know about water, though, since people don’t seem to actually use that anymore other than to clean up or water their lawns…

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