Hey, lazy fuck! How about actually taking me outside?
The Nest is back, and hopefully for good this time! I apologize for the radio silence caused by my hospitalization this week, which was preceded by my bitching and moaning about how crappy I felt the week before that.
And I haven’t forgotten about my countdown of products that were hard to find when I started at Mecca in 1998, but are so ubiquitous now that we just assume they’ve been a staple of our consumer needs since the days of F.W. Woolworth. Coming in at the runner up spot on this list of recently accepted norms at the supermarket is the one and only puppy pad! It’s basically a huge maxi pad you can put on your floor so your dog can do his business while you watch a marathon squirrel porn session on your computer. I started off stocking the pet department 23 years ago, and this item was NON-EXISTENT. I laughed the first time I saw them hit the shelf a few years later. And as people started buying more and more of them, I could only shake my head in disbelief at the number of lazy dog owners who don’t have time to actually walk their damned mutt! And let’s face it… that’s what the majority of puppy pad purchases are for…. the dog owner who wants to take minimal responsibility for their animals needs… but also don’t want the dog to shit on their “Let’s Stay Home” couch pillow.
Puppy pads also make for good body bags, mutt!
Can you guess what #1 will be next week? Hint, it’s something I really, really HATE and have bitched about numerous times on this blog….
Now that we’ve done our business on the blogger pad WordPress puts out for us lowly freeloaders, let’s answer Melanie’s Share Your World questions for this week!
Here you are, Mr. Squirrel, it’s time for your daily suppository!
What do you think of the idea of the ‘greater good’ principle?
Pretty much the same as everyone else thinks about it. If what I believe in happens to be for the “greater good,” then yeah, we need to do it for that! If what I believe in is more good for me than it is for everyone else, well fuck all you people and your “greater good!” This is all about ME! Humans are hypocrites by nature, so there is never any one underlying principle that any person universally goes by, whether they realize it or not…
We just fucked up the frozen concentrated orange juice market for everyone…. but at least our story got a happy ending!
Do you enjoy riding a roller coaster or other amusement park type ride?
Sure, when I used to go to amusement parks. I haven’t been to one since that pesky year of 1998 when I started working full time. I loved riding the coasters and other thrill rides at Six Flags, but after that long of a layoff, I don’t know what my stomach would think about getting on one now…
Mitzi’s always up for a fun ride on anything…
Which musical instrument is the most annoying to you personally?
Personally? It’s the trumpet. I live next to a whole family of trumpets, and they just toot their own horns all night long…
*Rim Shot!* Oh yeah, and then there’s the smartass drum who loves on the other side of me…
Would you rather have a vivid imagination or a photographic memory if you had to choose just one?
I think I already have the vivid imagination (Well, you might come up with some more fucked up adjectives for it other than vivid). I think people assume I have a photographic memory too, because I can remember weirdly obscure details about the past… but that’s just my brain weirdness and subconscious ability to associate certain details with other details really well. Having a photographic memory would not be worth losing the vivid imagination…
Did people have photographic memories before the camera was invented?
GRATITUDE SECTION
As interesting as the four and a half days I spent in the hospital was (Maybe it may lead for a few posts in the future), at least this didn’t happen to me…
Evil Squirrel's Nest 
While truly sorry you were hospitalized, very glad to hear your health team finally got a handle for the right treatment. I can see the posts covering the healthcare system in the works now. Hope you have a good weekend and the cretins who shoot off fireworks suffer for it. Relax and feel better.
If I hear BANG! and then YEOW! it’ll definitely make my weekend a more peaceful one…
Thanks for Sharing Your World Bill! I’m sorry to hear you were in the hospital, but the description you gave of your ailment on your last installment was really scary and I’m glad “they” did something about it. Sometimes it takes a hospital team, right? I hope you are feeling chipper and squirrelly once more too! A note about the pee pad idea, I agree that it is over utilized by a lot of dimwits who have no idea (and no business) about how to own a pet (dog in this instance). However Mr. Ziggy, who is (theoretically) house broken, will now and then leave me an unwelcome ‘present’ – usually if he gets pissed off at me for something OR if I ignore the warning signals because blogging or looking at silly clips of “Simon’s Cat” distract me from letting him out. Ain’t his fault, he ASKED. Those pee pads have saved my aging carpet. If it’s cleaned again, I’m fairly sure it’s gonna just shred into little pieces. So they have their place. And I admit that cat owners have it DOWN, cats being trained to a litter box and all. Maybe that’s the thing lazy dog owners ought to do… Hm. Again, I’m very glad you’re on the mend and back entertaining us all. It’s been quiet ’round here, TOO QUIET! Have a great Fourth of July!
The puppy pads have their purpose, but it’s the volume of sales we make that tell me it’s mostly lazy dog owners… or people who aren’t in any condition to take care of dogs like my Mom. I got a cat because I knew I wouldn’t be responsible enough to take care of a dog. I’ll try to do something about all that quiet… I did have a few SCT moments of inspiration during all this downtime, and maybe now that I can move again, I can put one together next week…
Oh my, I missed so much while I was away! And I don’t even have a good reason, like being in the hospital. I was just frazzled, stressed and unfocused from dealing with family members in crisis. And thank goodness the Shelf trama team wasn’t treating my mom any of the three times she coded. Poor Buster, the victim of the constant need for phone charging. I’m so glad you’re feeling better and are out of the hospital. I’ll have to read your past posts to get caught up on what was going on.
Lazy dog owners need a bossy, demanding herding dog like Gary. He does not take “not today” or even “not right now” for an answer when demanding his 2-3 X daily walks. He knows the routine and he does not allow forgetting or slacking on any part of it!
Aw, I’m sorry your Mom’s been having health problems! It’s probably a good thing I didn’t code…. especially Wednesday afternoon when I was pretty much left all day without a nurse, while tied up to an IV machine that wasn’t even running and whose line was infiltrating my good hand. My decomposing body might have been found by the night shift…
Yeah, it’s good thing you didn’t code that day! And they wonder why some people are so reluctant to go to the hospital.
So sorry to hear you were in the hospital! Not fun at all, but glad to hear that you’re feeling better now. Have a good weekend (without fireworks).
I don’t think I’ll have much choice but to bear the fireworks, as we have plenty of hooligans around these parts. But at least I won’t be miserable while I’m under attack!
I’m glad you’re on the mend! I’ve personally never used a puppy pad–we take Atlas for walks. A super funny experience I had was being in an airport bathroom–a woman came in carrying a small poodle, whipped out a puppy pad and started exhorting the dog to use it: “Pee pee, Charmin, pee pee!” Yeah, the dog’s name was Charmin, like the toilet paper!
Poor Charmin, always being made to use the paper! He should be secretly trained to learn to use Mommy’s good high heels instead…
It’s nice to have an active “Nest” again – I had begun to wonder if the hospital had a moat filled with man-eating otters and you had decided to discharge yourself early and – – – – well – – – – you know how this tale ends. About amusement park rides – the “old fashioned” amusement parks were fun but the newer ones are downright frightening…..strapping yourself in five different ways with restraints so you can ride a rocket ship up in the air several hundred feet at ear clogging speed ? Is that fun or is it heart-attack material??!! I liked the house of mirrors, the fun house, those not really scary rides through the dark with cheesy horror scenes around every corner. Ahh….the good old days. LOL Welcome back to our fearless leader!
Pam
No man-eating otters…. but my room had a view of the other end of the hospital, which almost always had a line of black birds ominously leering into my window at me. Talk about your signs! I loved the scary rides back in the day, especially the ones that went upside down! Wheeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!
I was always afraid of something falling off of me while I was upside down on one of those rides – like my glasses, or my purse…….! That line of blackbirds were spying on you for the Wicked Witch of the West I bet!
I know what it is. Smartphones!
Glad that you’re back. I used to love coasters too but I’d probably die if I road on one now.
That’s a great guess, though I limited the items to things that were around, or could be reasonably thought of at the time. Nobody in 1998 thought those bricks were gonna turn into little flat handheld computers…
Now we’ll have to ride at the same time so we can both die together!
Fuck yeah!
I’m doing this for the Greater Good (of me). Sounds about right.
There is no greater good than absolute selfishness…
Nice to hear you are fine. It is really difficult to understand why take a dog, if you don’t want/ have time or you are just lazy, to take it for a walk. There they sit watching TV and a shitting dog. Weird!
That was an interesting knowledge about imagination and memory. You know what I mean when I am saying I remember everything in photos. I like it, and also vivid imagination is great.
It’s like people expect dogs to be like cats. Just go on the paper, and I’ll pick it up when it gets full of shit. Lazy people, get a cat!
And then everything is fine, when we, cat people, teach our cats to clean litter boxes and throw a dirty bag out of the window.
Oh Evil, so happy that your doing much better. Sorry you went through all that medical drama, but your not in constant pain anymore, I hope so anyway. I also want to wish you a belated birthday, I’m really bad at remembering birthdays but my own, lo. I’m glad the Nest held down the fort and you didn’t come back to find it in shambles….oh wait, it was already like that, lol 🤣😝. Keep getting well, and stay safe!
Thank you, though the birthday greetings are actually early since I don’t get another year older until the 13th. I left Shadow in charge of The Nest while I was gone…… so yeah, I’m surprised it wasn’t in shambles! 😛
Oh, I was thinking June, not July. But I’ll wish you a happy birthday this month too. And Shadow did a spectacular job of keeping everybody in check.
You know, I can see that cartoon actually happening at a hospital. I think we should stop having walls and just have sockets. of course, you’d need a hell of a power input and you’d get a really big monthly bill, but you’d always have someplace to plug in whatever you need to plug in.