ZAC: Round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round…
EVIL SQUIRREL: Are you OK, Zac?
ZAC: Round and round and round and round yep, totally fine and dandyrific! Round and round and round and round and round never felt better in my life! Round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round….
ES: Scratchy, that wasn’t nice!
SCRATCHY: Fuck you! Besides, it gave me a good reason to smash that stupid Men Without Hats record of yours…
ES: That was my near-mint copy of “The Safety Dance?” You’re going to pay for that one…
SCRATCHY: There’s a penny taped to the needle that should cover the cost. Now, let’s get on with the next song before I have to brain another dope with your Rick Astley collection…
ES: (Rudely pointing) Sponkies….
SPONKIE 1: What number are we on again, sis?
SPONKIE 2: Twnety-six! Right there! The next Shelf Critter Request song was chosen by….
SPONKIE 1: Fleabag!!!!
FUZZYWIG: That’s you, mutt! Get up there and quit cramping my mellow…. mutt? Mutt!?!?
FUZZYWIG: If you want to live to get your next can of expired Alpo, you had best get out of my bag of Good Stuff!
FLEABAG: BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! IT’S 4:20 FEEDING TIME! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!
Fuzzywig smacks Fleabag in the ass with his pipe, getting his disobedient furball to hobble up to the stage…
TINA: I hope he picked “Who Let The Dogs Out!” Woof! Woof Woof Woof!!!
SHADOW: If he had any brains at all, he’d request Alan Parsons Project’s “Sirius.” That’s the dog star for you uneducated critters…
HUNG LO: Me thinking Weird Al’s “Eat It” would be a great choice for such a tasty dog!
FLEABAG: BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABY! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!
SCRATCHY: Why in the hell did you let a dog have a pick in this countdown? Dammit! Quit drooling on my turntable before you ruin this expensive equipment!
Fleabag jumps on the record and leaves a gift…
FLEABAG: BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! POOP ON A PLATTER! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!
SCRATCHY: Now I’m pissed…….
ES: Too bad you knocked Zac unconscious, he’d have really loved watching this!
SCRATCHY: Get this literal piece of shit off my record player!!!!!
TROLL: Yes sir. I already know what you want me to do, sir….
Troll removes the dog turd from the record, and then……..
ES: You weren’t supposed to eat it, you moron!!!!!
TROLL: Sorry sir. I had to work through my lunch hour and was hungry. I’ll go wash my face in the bidet now, sir….
Troll and his shit eating grin exit stage water closet…
SCRATCHY: (Removing Fleabag’s song selection from the envelope) Jesus, I think my grandma listened to this shit…
In the mid 60’s, The Temptations were one of Motown’s hottest R&B groups. Produced by the legendary Smokey Robinson, the miracle maker’s smooth sound could was all over some of their biggest hits like “My Girl” and “The Way You Do The Things You Do.”
But when the Robinson produced single “Get Ready” barely made a dent in the pop charts, that opened the door for Norman Whitfield, who had already had the group record a song he helped write called “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg.” Whitfield’s style was more blues inspired and featured grittier vocals by David Ruffin, as opposed to the more Smokey-sounding Eddie Kendricks. It took many tries for Whitfield to get Motown’s boss Berry Gordy to sign off on releasing “Beg,” but it finally made it on radios across the nation in 1966 and became a #13 hit…
“Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” also had a pretty popular cover version done by the Rolling Stones in 1974. Though I slightly favor the Stones version, I sided with The Temps for the countdown because I already have enough 70’s songs in here, plus, the Stones’ version only made it to #17, thus making it the lesser hit.
You never know what my Shelf Critters will have me play next! Join me next Monday for the first song of the Top 25….