♪ ♫ In a gadda da vida, honey
Don’t you know that I’m lovin’ you ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ Oh, won’t you come with me
And take my hand
Oh, won’t you come with me
And walk this land ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫
EVIL SQUIRREL: (Checking his Fuzzywig watch….. it’s 4:20)
ES: Where the heck were you?
SCRATCHY: I told you I was going to take a dump! That’s why I put the Iron Butterfly record on. You know prog rock was invented so deejays would have time to drop a deuce while on the job…
ES: I don’t believe you.
SCRATCHY: You probably don’t believe in unicorns either. I kinda got the runs, so unless you want to listen to “Alice’s Restaurant,” you better get this next Shelf critter request going…
SPONKIE 2: The next request is….
SPONKIE 1: COOL!!!!!!!! It’s Ninja on a Skateboard!!!
SQUIRREL CHILD 1: OMG! That’s you!
CHILD 2: I hope you requested a ninja song!
CHILD 3: Yeah! Like Kung Fu Fighting!
CHILD 4: Stupid! That’s a karate song!
CHILD 3: I’m not stupid!
CHILD 4: Are too!
CHILD 3: Are not!
Ninja on a Skateboard has the same patience with children that I do…..
LITTLEST: I’m telling Mommy!!!!
CHILD 2: Shut up, bro!
CHILD 3: Yeah, she probably ordered the hit…
ES: Thanks, dude, for selecting a song for my countdow….
ES: HEY! That was my prized Tiffany album! How’d you even do that? I didn’t see….
NINJA: You didn’t see me cut it because I’m a fucking NINJA!
ES: Nobody can possibly be that fast….
ES: OWWWWWWWWW!!!!! I’m bleeding!!!!!
SCRATCHY: That’s hardly a scratch. You’ll live.
ES: This could get infected! Where’s the first aid kit!?!?
SCRATCHY: You won’t allow us to have one on set, remember? You want our suffering to look real for the cameras.
NINJA: Live by the sword, die by the sword!
SCRATCHY: I see what you did there!
NINJA: No you didn’t, because I’m a fucking NINJA!!!!!!!!!
ES: Just play the fucking NINJA’s request while I go find a tourniquet….
Long before Canada ruined its musical reputation by giving the world Celine Dion and Justin Bieber, it was pumping out some of the most underrated rockers in the world in the 70’s and 80’s. One of the most prominent was a gentleman by the name of Bryan Adams, who would go on to become world famous, though his everlasting legacy has largely been reduced to one of the most blatant uses of sexual innuendo in the title of an otherwise wholesome song.
Well, before the “Summer of ’69,” Adams released an album in 1983 that was a bit hit on the American continent, but not so much elsewhere. That album was titled Cuts Like A Knife, and its title track introduced Bryan Adams to the US market…
“Cuts Like A Knife” was a #15 hit on the US pop charts, and an even bigger hit on rock stations at the time. I remember the independent rock station my family listened to in the early 80’s, KWK, actually ranked this as the #3 song of 1983 on their year end countdown. It’s nothing fancy or extravagant or ground breaking…. it’s just good rock music. And a hell of a lot better than some of the schmaltzy stuff Adams did during the Robin Hood years…
Oops, wrong men in tights!
Come back next Monday for the next cut from a critter….