♪ ♫ In a gadda da vida, honey
Don’t you know that I’m lovin’ you ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ Oh, won’t you come with me
And take my hand
Oh, won’t you come with me
And walk this land ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫
EVIL SQUIRREL: (Checking his Fuzzywig watch….. it’s 4:20)
ES: Where the heck were you?
SCRATCHY: I told you I was going to take a dump! That’s why I put the Iron Butterfly record on. You know prog rock was invented so deejays would have time to drop a deuce while on the job…
ES: I don’t believe you.
SCRATCHY: You probably don’t believe in unicorns either. I kinda got the runs, so unless you want to listen to “Alice’s Restaurant,” you better get this next Shelf critter request going…
SPONKIE 2: The next request is….
SPONKIE 1: COOL!!!!!!!! It’s Ninja on a Skateboard!!!
SQUIRREL CHILD 1: OMG! That’s you!
CHILD 2: I hope you requested a ninja song!
CHILD 3: Yeah! Like Kung Fu Fighting!
CHILD 4: Stupid! That’s a karate song!
CHILD 3: I’m not stupid!
CHILD 4: Are too!
CHILD 3: Are not!
Ninja on a Skateboard has the same patience with children that I do…..
LITTLEST: I’m telling Mommy!!!!
CHILD 2: Shut up, bro!
CHILD 3: Yeah, she probably ordered the hit…
ES: Thanks, dude, for selecting a song for my countdow….
SLASH!!!!
ES: HEY! That was my prized Tiffany album! How’d you even do that? I didn’t see….
NINJA: You didn’t see me cut it because I’m a fucking NINJA!
ES: Nobody can possibly be that fast….
SLASH!
ES: OWWWWWWWWW!!!!! I’m bleeding!!!!!
SCRATCHY: That’s hardly a scratch. You’ll live.
ES: This could get infected! Where’s the first aid kit!?!?
SCRATCHY: You won’t allow us to have one on set, remember? You want our suffering to look real for the cameras.
NINJA: Live by the sword, die by the sword!
SCRATCHY: I see what you did there!
NINJA: No you didn’t, because I’m a fucking NINJA!!!!!!!!!
ES: Just play the fucking NINJA’s request while I go find a tourniquet….
Long before Canada ruined its musical reputation by giving the world Celine Dion and Justin Bieber, it was pumping out some of the most underrated rockers in the world in the 70’s and 80’s. One of the most prominent was a gentleman by the name of Bryan Adams, who would go on to become world famous, though his everlasting legacy has largely been reduced to one of the most blatant uses of sexual innuendo in the title of an otherwise wholesome song.
See…. totally innocuous!
Well, before the “Summer of ’69,” Adams released an album in 1983 that was a bit hit on the American continent, but not so much elsewhere. That album was titled Cuts Like A Knife, and its title track introduced Bryan Adams to the US market…
“Cuts Like A Knife” was a #15 hit on the US pop charts, and an even bigger hit on rock stations at the time. I remember the independent rock station my family listened to in the early 80’s, KWK, actually ranked this as the #3 song of 1983 on their year end countdown. It’s nothing fancy or extravagant or ground breaking…. it’s just good rock music. And a hell of a lot better than some of the schmaltzy stuff Adams did during the Robin Hood years…
Holy rock ballads, Batman! Everything I do, I do it for you!
Oops, wrong men in tights!
Come back next Monday for the next cut from a critter….
Evil Squirrel's Nest 
I remember this song… it was one of the misheard lyrics fails …. the whole dance floor at the piglet race ranch screamed CATS LIKE THE NIGHT! … howly god that really cuts like a knife …
I’ve never heard of that misheard lyric before, but now every time I hear this song…… CATS LIKE THE NIGHT!
Always liked his voice…..kinda “jagged” – like a knife wound. Seriously – I liked this song and a lot of his work. I can see why Ninja appreciates it too!
Pam
You’re right, it is jagged. Probably why that slow crap he did in the 90’s sound extra crappy…
Fun to read this post and who cannot enjoy Bryn Adams? ….thanks
Good song! I hear it a lot on the oldies station.
Happy Monday! 🙂
Another of my beloved 80’s songs…. now an oldie!
Brother that takes me back. Cold water flat (cheap apartment), frozen bean burritos, and no money. Good times (NOT). I had no idea Bryan Adams sang that song, but it explains why I was never a huge fan of his….associations are huge.
1983 was one of my favorite years in music… that’s a lot of good songs that’d get lumped in with nasty bean burritos..
Plain. ole. rock. song. indeed. And a great one at that. Well played Ninja! Let’s hear it for the Canadians (sans Celine & Bieber of course).
Yes, the best song ever made. Well done, Ninja on a Skateboard, well done, Sir. Eek.
Very well chosen words. Now Ninja On a Skateboard will probably just leave you with a flesh wound…
\I couldn’t stop laughing reading about the adventures in the Nest. Oh those Shelf Critters are just too funny. Nice song. Thanks for shouting out to our Canadian friends.
Thank you for recognizing my weird little critter intros! Literally nobody else is taking note of either them or the art I’ve made for these…. so thank you for justifying all of those hours slaving over a hot stove to make these! To be honest, I’m enjoying exercising my creativity more than picking the music for this countdown (at least until I get into the upper half)…