Weekend Threesome – 11/7/21

The Nest is bringing you a threesome unlike any other since Lobo sang about me and you and a dog named Boo!  This week’s compilation of small tidbits promises not to break any bestiality laws…

I’ve always joked about how my neighbors probably think I’m the local creep that’s up to no good and that they should probably avoid at all costs.  I never really took that seriously until this past Sunday, though…. Halloween.  As usual, I woke up a bit early (which is easier now that I have to be up at 7:00 anyway) to put out the pumpkin and hand out candy.  But unlike other years, about half of the trick or treaters who ventured down my street hit my neighbors on both sides of me and bypassed me entirely!

No want my candies?

I have a sneaking suspicion it was the bunch two houses to my left, who I’ve NEVER seen give out candy before, who was putting out the “good word” about me, as most of the groups who avoided me came from their direction.  This is the same house whose cats (Pretty Kitty and Gypsy) I took more care of than they did… and they probably blame me for their deaths/disappearances.  But as the house sitting at the very end of a cul-de-sac, I’m pretty hard to miss… so it wasn’t just me being out of the way.  This hadn’t happened before in the 13 Halloweens I’ve lived here (and I only missed handing out candy thrice), and it both irked the shit out of me and made me a bit paranoid about my reputation.

If I was going to hand out poisoned candy, I’d just give out this shit…. it’s already poison, and the kids won’t eat it anyway.

As weird of a year as 2020 was in retail, 2021 is turning out to be even more upside down.  Seasonality matters in almost every sector of retail, and particularly at a moneysuck like Mecca.  You can sell a Christmas tree three months early in September, but on December 26th, it better be half off…

Happy Hallowmas!

And with labor and material shortages still clogging up the logistics chain, not to mention that one big country where 95% of the stuff in your house is now made, stores are having a hard time getting seasonal merchandise to the shelves before the next season has totally taken it over.  This started in Spring with a bit of late arriving Easter, then Back to School items that continued to come in through late September (at least that can be sold), and heck, I even got a few cases of beach towels in a few weeks ago.  That might be fine if our store were in Florida or Southern California… but even our milder than usual October probably saw nobody laying out by the pool in the Midwest.

Hop on in! The water’s just fine…

Then came Monday night, November 1st, when I literally had half a pallet of merchandise for our Fall decor counter arrive.  Treat bowls printed with bats, skull shaped mugs with fake blood inside the glass, glass bowls shaped like pumpkins, table covers in orange and black motif…. sorry, not in November.  It’s bad enough when we don’t get our seasonal “liabilities” out to the salesfloor until it’s too late, but when it can’t even arrive at the dock door in time?  Who’s up for Christmas in January?

Man, fuck this shit!

And finally, more wonderful Caller ID shenanigans….

Oh my, I better answer it!

It was so IMPORTANT, that I didn’t answer it…

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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13 Responses to Weekend Threesome – 11/7/21

  1. Did grocery shopping today and for the first time in FOREVER there was a sign in the toilet paper area saying “sorry but supply issues mean shortages”. Great. I had thought the GREAT TOILET PAPER FIASCO was over with. Not. As for your neighborhood rep – I know on many levels you don’t give a hoot BUT it’s still NOT RIGHT.

    Pam

    • The only TP that’s been an issue lately has been Charmin, which has brand-wide been mostly out of stock for a few months now. We still have tons of the other brands though, including pallets of Angel Soft. It’s not hoarding this time, it must be lack of trees…. or leaves!

  2. Sorry to hear that the neighbours are giving you a hard time about your reputation. There’s always more than enough hypocrisy to go around …

  3. I wouldn’t worry long about your reputation. If the trick or treaters were avoiding your house because of something some asshole said, it’s their problem not yours. I didn’t want ANY trick or treaters at all, and so I turned out the lights and hunkered under the fleecy throws with Ziggy, and watched some old Vincent Price horror movies (one of which was scarier than anything they’ve put out recently, despite the FX advantages in today’s fodder). A neighbor got scared and thought I’d popped my clogs (died) or something because of the no activity and came to check on me. THEN the trick or treaters showed up. I’m sorry if it spoiled your Halloween though. I think there’d be a big bag of cat sh*t on those stupid neighbor’s doorstep some night soon… they’re obviously assholes of the first water.

  4. draliman says:

    I don’t care how cold the water is, I’m hopping on in…

  5. It’s becoming more and more alarming as shipping containers continue to pile up on docks. I’d like to think we’ve learned a valuable lesson about keeping up with infrastructure but then I only have to look at Congress to lose my faith. *sigh

  6. Kismet says:

    It works better to not answer any call that doesn’t have a caller ID of someone you know.

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