Sunday is always thrice as nice at The Nest as we present you with three more random tidbits from my week in Blogger’s Digest form. Let the Threesome begin…
I’d mentioned in a WT post over the summer that my driver’s license expired on my birthday in July, and as luck would have it, this wasn’t my turn for renewal by mail… so a trip to the even more clusterfucked than usual DMV would be necessary. On a trip in July, the line to get in looked like something out of Soviet Russia… so I procrastinated, which I could legally do as all DL’s with expirations in 2020 and 2021 were extended until 1/1/22.
This is what the line looked like, which made no sense since there was no smoochie from Mitzi to be had.
I planned to go in September… um… October…. er, I finally got around to heading down there this past week. At about 9:45 on a Tuesday morning, there was no line outside the door! In fact, I was able to get a number right away (42, for all you 42 lovers out there), with 36 currently being served. I was in and out in about 20 minutes with my new licen….
No, actually, I was in and out in about 20 minutes with a piece of fucking paper.
Hey, give that back! That’s my photo ID!
Yep, my new license is a piece of paper that looks like it was made on the office copier… and my old ID card got hole punched. I’m supposed to get the real deal in the mail in a week or two… but I guess it’s a good thing I don’t buy liquor or go anywhere I’d have to show a real photo ID for. Real classy, Illinois. On the bright side, despite it supposedly being a requirement for any in-person renewal, I didn’t have to take the vision test, which I could barely pass 25 years ago, let alone today…
Or take a ride with this guy…
It’s become a ritual every summer to have huge recruitment campaigns in front of schools all over the city to get bus drivers for the upcoming school year. It doesn’t take much imagination to picture school bus driver as one of the ultimate shit jobs. So naturally, they’ve been even more desperate this year with everyone scrambling for workers…
When I think of heroes, I think of bus drivers!
This sign is still out near the school district HQ, which is on the path of my walks. “Bring your children to work to ride along with you!” WTF? Are they serious? I’ll bet that works well throwing a couple of toddlers on a bus full of rowdy middle schoolers. At least they have “PAID TRANING.” There’s nothing like a misspelling from people in the field of education to make you feel real superior…
You’ll always be a hero to us, Snake Eyes!
Who says you have to take your Halloween decorations down in November?
Dead pilgrims tell no tales, or talk turkey…
Give that thing a curly black wig, and it’d look just like Slash…
Evil Squirrel's Nest 
Now that you have your license, you could get a job as a hero…lol. Seriously, that ad has more disincentives than incentives!
I’m not sure I’d want to go through the paid traning, though. That sounds too mysterious…
Congrats on getting your license renewed….I lucked out too when I got mine – short line, fast procedure but the photo was the worst one EVER. I look like some sort of ad for the local morgue (“we guarantee to make you look better than this!”)……my husband’s photo looks (really) like a wanted poster. Oh well…..my passport is even worse.
Pam
The photo on the paper license looks bad enough…. I’ll bet it will look even worse on the real deal. Just another reminder how much I question the whole selfie craze…
We are so short on bus drivers here – if it weren’t for the fact you have to get up at 4 AM I might try it.
I’d hate the hours, it’d be like working a split shift every day. To say nothing of my impatience with rugrats…
Thanks for the early warning system which you hoisted so helpfully (and all unaware too). Next year tolls the D.L. for ME. They damn well better give me the internet option to renew the fussing thing. Congrats on hitting the sweet spot vis a vis having no long ass line with people you never wanted to meet in the first place standing in it! ☺
No experience necessary? It’s a huge great big bus! Full of darling little distractions! Sheesh.
It’s upsetting that we don’t have a “DMV” over here as it’s the source of many great jokes and complaints for you guys. We have the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency which isn’t even based in this country (it’s in Wales) but we just renew our licences online (or at the Post Office if you really want to talk to someone).
Driving and vehicles is one of those powers we’ve vested in the individual states to run, meaning it’s not only tied up in red tape but also gouges us for every penny possible in tax revenues… particularly in states like mine that have a huge, honking urban area the whole state has to support like Chicago. Putting everything online would cut into that cash cow by making the whole process too convenient…
Traning is an interesting concept for a job ad. According to the Urban Dictionary, it is the “process of becoming a transsexual.” Short-lived career choice. 😉
And the skeleton? Throw a Christmas wreath around its neck and cover all the immediate seasons. 😉
Wow, who knew becoming a bus driver had so many exotic benefits! I’m interested to see how the skeleton gets decorated for Christmas, if it isn’t too cold for me to do walks in December…
Not to be too picky but shouldn’t “TRANING” have a double “N”?
Are you going to argue with ejucational profeshunals?
Eye woulnt dreem of it.
You’re right by gosh! Slash most definitely. Hey glad you’re all ‘legal and up to date’ now. They do the same thing in Colorado (hole ;unch your old photo ID and hand you a cheesy paper. Two weeks later you get the replacement license and realize they delay the lousy photo for so long so people don’t get upset. Like who’s going back to complain about the new crap pic? It’d require waiting in line again and no one wants to do that.
I don’t think unlimited attempts would net me a good DL photo. Maybe I really am a convict…