The 24 Days Of Shelfmas – Day 10

On the tenth day of Shelfmas, the critters gave to me…

Ten words a’bleeping!

VAL: You lousy sack of (BLEEP!), I hope you bend over to pick up a lump of (BLEEP!)ing coal and get Blitzen’s antlers up your (BLEEP!)

SANTA: Well aren’t we merry and (BLEEP!)ing bright!  Maybe if you’d extract your (BLEEP!) from that cup so you could be laid, you wouldn’t act like a (BLEEP!)ing (BLEEP!)  Not that any sane male would want to (BLEEP!) you anyway!

VAL: That’s it!  I’m going to (BLEEP!)ing kick your (BLEEP!)ing nuts so hard that you won’t be able to knock up anymore housewives on your annual “visit” until you get a (click!) fucking colonoscopy!

SANTA: Whatever, you delusional (click!) bitch!  You’re just jealous that everyone writes me letters and you can’t even get a single (click!) fucking sext!

VAL: Yeah, letters from little children, you (click!) fucking pervert!

SLIDER: (Madly clicking the button) Well crap!  That’s the third time the batteries in my dirty word bleeper have gone out just this week!  Shelf Critter Theatre is just too fucking vulgar…


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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13 Responses to The 24 Days Of Shelfmas – Day 10

  1. ahm…. yes… val is right… ole man gets letters from kids… ;o)))

  2. I just bet that bleeper was made in China……..


  3. Kismet says:

    Since when does this blog censor language?

  4. Aw. Isn’t that sweet though? You made an effort to protect the ears (and eyes) of your Shelf audience! Not that any of us haven’t heard most of those fucking words before, mind you. Tell Scooter to go buy some batteries pronto! Your comments’ section is apparently more than happy to ‘fill in the blanks’ ! 🤣

  5. Val’s sweet eyes belies her potty mouth. 👁

  6. Batteries. You just can’t trust them.

  7. draliman says:

    This reads like a scene from the upcoming and long-awaited behind the scenes SCT documentary. And now the batteries are dead, uncut too!

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