On the tenth day of Shelfmas, the critters gave to me…
Ten words a’bleeping!
VAL: You lousy sack of (BLEEP!), I hope you bend over to pick up a lump of (BLEEP!)ing coal and get Blitzen’s antlers up your (BLEEP!)
SANTA: Well aren’t we merry and (BLEEP!)ing bright! Maybe if you’d extract your (BLEEP!) from that cup so you could be laid, you wouldn’t act like a (BLEEP!)ing (BLEEP!) Not that any sane male would want to (BLEEP!) you anyway!
VAL: That’s it! I’m going to (BLEEP!)ing kick your (BLEEP!)ing nuts so hard that you won’t be able to knock up anymore housewives on your annual “visit” until you get a (click!) fucking colonoscopy!
SANTA: Whatever, you delusional (click!) bitch! You’re just jealous that everyone writes me letters and you can’t even get a single (click!) fucking sext!
VAL: Yeah, letters from little children, you (click!) fucking pervert!
SLIDER: (Madly clicking the button) Well crap! That’s the third time the batteries in my dirty word bleeper have gone out just this week! Shelf Critter Theatre is just too fucking vulgar…