Authority Song

SPONKIE 1: Uncle Evil, I need to go potty!

EVIL SQUIRREL: You’re a big boy now, you don’t need my permission!

SPONKIE 1: But I can’t get in the bathroom!  The door’s locked!

SCRATCHY: Is Hung Lo still in there from last week?  I thought I smelled something rotten other than ES’s 80’s records.

ES: Did you try knocking on the door?  Maybe he did an Elvis in there?

SPONKIE 1: I’m too scared to!

SCRATCHY: You know, Evil has his own executive potty that he doesn’t let anyone else use…. maybe he’d let you….

ES: Dammit, Scratchy!  The commoners aren’t supposed to know about that….. oh, here…

ES: Here’s the key.  It’s in my office behind the life-sized pinup of Mitzi.

SPONKIE 1: Thanks Uncle Evil!!!

ES: And make sure you leave the seat up!  I don’t care what your mother says….

SCRATCHY: Yeah, and don’t read that stash of magazines inside the vanity!  You’re not old enough for them yet….

ES: Someone’s really itching for cleanup duty after Hung Lo!

SCRATCHY: Bitch, please!  I’m too awesome for that.  So, Sponkie grrl, give us that next critter request!

SPONKIE 2: At number five we have a request by…. Slider!

SCRATCHY: You didn’t cut his nosy ass?  He must’ve requested some shit you like then…

SLIDER: Slider, the politically correct mascot of the Cleveland Guardians, at your serv…

ES: Whoa!  Stop right there with that Guardians shit!  It’s the Indians, OK?  Unless you want to end up at Goodwill with all of the old lawn jockeys and “Slap a Jap” posters!

SLIDER: I’ll make a note of your insensitivity to my superiors…

SCRATCHY: You wanna just give us your request so we can get on with making the world a more fucked up place here?

SLIDER: I could do that….. but first, I’m going to have to ask you to correct all of these violations I uncovered on my visit to the Shelf.

ES: Are you fucking serious?  We don’t have time for….

SLIDER: (Unfurling his list) And these were just in the bathroom.  Fecal matter wiped on the walls.  No soap or running water in the sink.  Water bugs nesting in the toilet paper.  Deceased fat man blocking access to the commode….

ES: Scratchy….. play his song now, and play it loud….. I don’t want anyone else to hear the screams when I murder this asshole…..

Having a song reach the Top 5 on the US Billboard pop chart is usually a cause for celebration by a band.  It’s not the easiest feat in the world, many better groups such as Dead or Alive, Twisted Sister and Devo can’t make that claim…. hell, none of them even had a Top 10 hit.

And so today The Nest presents the curious case of a British group by the name of After the Fire.  ATF formed in 1972, and was a band that embraced synth pop before it was really a thing… but it also had a revolving door of a lineup that led to instability.  One of After the Fire’s songs it recorded in 1982 literally caught fire on the American continent the following year.  This is 80’s essential new wave, folks…

“Der Kommissar” made it up to #5 in the Spring of 1983…. five months after the band decided to break up for good.  Despite “Der Kommissar” being far more successful than anything else the band had ever done (Its best single in the UK only hit #40), they couldn’t be encouraged by their record label to get back together… and never did until a reunion in 2004.  The only thing stranger than the fact that ATF didn’t realize success until after it was toast would be the original version of the song that After the Fire covered…

Holy shit…. WTF!?!?

“Der Kommissar” was written and originally recorded by Austrian musician Falco in 1981, and I already had a ball many years ago running the horribly cheesy music video for it through the wringer.  While Falco’s version is in German, the main fault with it lies in the fact that it’s just fucking awful.  Luckily for us, After the Fire came along just before they went up in smoke and made a much MUCH better version… and Falco still managed to redeem himself by giving us “Rock Me Amadeus” in 1986…

And you thought hair metal was only an 80’s thing…

There’s only four songs left in the SCT Request countdown?  Who gave me the very best songs to work with?  Keep coming back on Mondays to find out… unless you want an unwelcome visit from der kommissar.


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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11 Responses to Authority Song

  1. Juliette says:

    Ohhhhh I like this. Thank you Slider.

  2. maybe this song has a kind of bad karma? the band is no longer a band and falco is no longer on slice earth…but anyway the cover version is more catchy than the original….

  3. Kismet says:

    The Cleveland baseball team used to be the Cleveland Spiders. Then when checking into a hotel, they were told that the Indian player wasn’t welcome. The head of the team said, “let’s go elsewhere, we are all Indians”. The name stuck.

  4. I come for the info as much as the awesome rockin’ music (like today’s selection). Yeah. Thanks Slider! It had a really catchy beat is my opinion why it ‘caught fire’ in the USA. But most of Europe thinks Americans are either mad or criminals. Our choice of music preferences shouldn’t faze THEM.

  5. I sure remember that song………At the time, it was a big deal to be in a bar and sing along (all 50 people whether they were able to stand up or not). Never heard the all German version. Way to go Slider………


  6. ghostmmnc says:

    Yes! This is a good one! I hear it all the time on the oldies radio. Never seen the video, but it was cool, love the spider and also how things were done in reverse! 🙂

    • it’s funny because when you said “I hear it all the time on the oldies radio,” I was singing along with the line in the song that is close to that! That’s a lot of trouble to go to for a video of a song that wasn’t expected to be a hit…

  7. draliman says:

    Such a typical 80s sound! Not too bad, but I’ve never heard of the band.

  8. A totally cool song but definitely a weird vid. Maybe I need to enjoy a 4:20 break now that I’m old(er). Still enjoyed the music. Totally 80’s, totally great.

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