Share Your World – Week 160

The number one man when it comes to number two…

It was on January 27, 1910 that a true legend in toilet history passed away, one Mr. Thomas Crapper.  While Crapper did not invent the flush toilet, this 19th century plumber turned businessman sure as hell invented a number of improvements to its design that made them more efficient and sanitary… most notably the floating ballcock (Insert Beavis & Butthead laugh here).  He was also instrumental in getting the toilet out into the open via prominent and accessible displays in his showroom, a concept which scandalized post-Victorian England.  Crapper’s legacy is remembered each January 27th, Thomas Crapper Day.

Another myth about Thomas Crapper is that his surname was responsible for the modern word “crap” to mean poop and anything else that is awful.  But crap actually dates back to Middle English, and though the word fell out of favor in England during the 17th century, the early American colonists brought the word with them to the New World, where it was kept alive on this side of the Atlantic for three centuries before World War I brought American soldiers to England where toilets bearing Thomas Crapper’s name were everywhere… with giddy G.I.’s helping to make “crap” a word of universal English usage once again!

Thank you, Thomas Crapper! Thankyaverruhmuch!

And so with that crap out of the way, let’s do our regular business…. no, not THAT regular business!  I mean Melanie’s Share Your World questions for this week!  All inspired by other bloggers, and not me this time!  The world rejoices at being spared the squirreliness….

Don’t forget to wipe!

What’s the worst day of the week for you?  Why? (from Cyranny)

From 1998 til last March when I worked Friday through Tuesday night, Fridays were generally a pain in the ass, leading to Saturdays being a completely lost day.  Now that I’m off Friday nights as well, the transition back to work on Saturday isn’t as bad, but the ten hours shifts now make my entire workweek full of lost days!  I don’t know…. how about I answer “any day ending with a Y?”

Fuck you, Garfield! You’re a goddamn housecat.

Would you ever consider posing naked or semi-naked for the camera or a live audience (acting in a play)? (from Jazzocracy)

The world is not ready for that…

Yeah…… uh…. let’s get Mitzi out here instead!

With the recent energy crisis here in the UK, would you prefer electric, gas, oil or some other means of heating your home? (from Di)

It’s so much greener and more energy efficient to just keep shoveling dead possums into my furnace… and with Buster around, that’s a very plentiful resource.

What are a few million possums when protecting the environment is so much more important?

In your household, who takes care of the bills, taxes, and other financial stuff? Is one person responsible or is it a shared chore? (from Marilyn)

You may think the answer to this is obvious since I’m the only member of The Nest’s household, but I do have a bevy of slav…. er, lackeys to help keep my finances in order.

My accountants…

SQUIRREL CHILD 1: So 86 plus 14 minus the square root of negative umpteen thousand six hundred and a half….

CHILD 2: Don’t forget to carry the one!

CHILD 3: Can I hit the equal button now?

CHILD 4: Sixteen hundred dollars and three cents!

CHILD 1: In the red!

LITTLEST: I get to press a button now or I’m telling Mommy!!!!

My financial advisor…

FUZZYWIG: Yes, I definitely think we… I mean, you should invest this money in cannabis futures.  Actually…. (sniff!) is that hemp?  This note just may be smokable….. er, let me take this windfall back to my office and, er, speculate on it!  I hope this will fit in my ticker tape bong…

My bill payer…

SNUGGLE: (Tucking bill in Mitzi’s G-string) Fuck yeah!  I think that jack ES gave me for the heating bill wasn’t that important.  I sure am feeling warm all over right now….

My tax preparer…

EVIL SQUIRREL: Dammit Troll!!!

TROLL: I’m sorry I prepared you taxes wrong, sir, and you got locked up.  I may have miscalculated a deduction or two…

SLIDER: You don’t get a tax deduction on Underoos!

TROLL: But they were part of my wardrobe for my acting job on Shelf Critter Theatre, and I kept soiling them performing work duties…

SLIDER: Are you getting paid under the table!?!?

TROLL: Errrr… no sir, I don’t get paid at all.  Not even for my tax preparation services.  Can I go now?  I don’t want to miss out on the government cheese handout again…

If you can have any one job (real or fiction) in the galaxy (yes, the galaxy, I’m widening the search radius, imagining relocation to other planets possible), what is that job? (from Yinglan)

Head of the tourism board for the planet of Uranus!

Have a postcard on us!

Who are you grateful for?

You mean besides Thomas Crapper?

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About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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18 Responses to Share Your World – Week 160

  1. that was interesting to read… we had a guy once, Eugene Poubelle, who gave his name for trash cans and trash bags and anything trash…sometimes even fame stinks ;O)

  2. Your bevy of lackeys taking care of your finances needs an overseer – you might try to find a “Dominatrix Barbie” to add to the SCT group – she’d be perfect for the job. Every time I hear Thomas Crapper’s name, and in this age of women keeping their own last name and hyphenating it with their husband’s last name when they marry, I have to wonder about poor Miss Candy Clogged. If she’d met and married Thomas – well gosh.

    Pam

    • With all of the jobs they’re giving Barbie these days to show girls they can be anything they want, I can’t believe there is no Dominatrix Barbie on the shelves! And if there was, I’d sure as heck have one on the Shelf!

  3. Kismet says:

    I’d prefer burning bad drivers for fuel. There’s no shortage of them and keeping warn would be a public service.

  4. I did not know that today is Thomas Crapper day. Let’s all give thanks, not crap. 😉

  5. Thanks Bill for Sharing Your (non-squirrely) World. I think folks will miss the occasional ** koff koff ODD koff koff ** squirrely SYW, after all variety is the spice they say! The comic today set off a mild phobic reaction but was hilarious. I guess people really ARE connected to those devices of evil intent, aren’t they? The ‘fun facts’ on Mr. Crapper were excellent, and now I know why the toilet is sometimes called “the crapper”. What a surname to have! The image of Obsession is now seared on my retinas, another thing I’ll never unsee. At least the fellow was discreet about his junk… O_o And burnt possum fuel. Hmmm. Biodegradable, a vast resource base… you might just have something there. I’d patent it, AND keep it on the down low, because those oil and energy people are vicious in defense of their golden parachutes! Have a great week!

    • You can’t drive a mile around here without finding a squashed possum, and I’m not even in the South where they’re probably like bugs splattered on the windshield. Definitely one of those alternative energy sources being intentionally repressed by the oil and coal companies…

  6. Willow Croft says:

    I need some wonderful squirrels to go with my own Casio calculator!

    • I’m lucky to have so many little guys around to help me make anything cuter! I had that calculator for about 20 years, but it finally quit working about a year ago (The picture’s from 2019) and have a new Casio calculator in its place!

      • Willow Croft says:

        Ha, I know, I really see the planned obselence even more these days. I’ve gone through more toaster ovens in the past few years, while the Foreman grill keeps on going (found the grill’s owner’s manual while I was cleaning out my file boxes, and it was dated 2000!).

  7. draliman says:

    Thank you America for returning our crap to us!
    Buster – the ultimate in reusable energy…

  8. Kim says:

    You are so delightfully fucked up.

  9. How are the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper the same? They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.

  10. What a timely post (though the response is late so apologies for that-we’ve had technical issues this week). I’ve been besmirching Thomas’ invention since it decided to not function. Argh.

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