All Time Sandy Awards – Eye Bleach!

No looking away until you’re done reading!

The Nest’s 10th anniversary party is continuing well into my blog’s eleventh year, because who says the party should ever end?  We’re currently paying tribute to one of my very favorite features ever on my blog, the Sandy Awards.  While the annual show had to be scrapped, likely permanently, due to a lack of material to work with… we can still look back on ten years of great search terms that truly make us wonder how humans ever got to the top of the food chain.

For the fourth installment in this series, I’ll be featuring my favorite search terms from the last decade that will leave you wanting to scrub your brain with a wire brush to remove the awful mental image.  As always, all of the bolded terms below were really entered by someone into a search engine which led them to The Nest at some point in our dubious history!

The only way you’re ever going to unsee these things is to go back in time and murder me before I started up Evil Squirrel’s Nest…

balding studmuffins – Because even Fabio probably needs a comb-over now…

hairy bitch – What’s the opposite of a balding studmuffin?

Awww, hairy bitches aren’t bad mental images after all!

image of squirrel up to his nuts in snow – it’s rude to laugh at a squirrel’s blue balls…

Forget handwarmers, I need some nutwarmers!

crapping in a squirrel stash – Would you want a squirrel to shit in your pantry?

squirrel poop toffee – Then again, maybe some people would like that…

I’ll bet it tastes nutty…

japanese armpit – Hey…. you do you.

Somebody out there is getting hot and bothered by this.

squirrel in a thong – Only if it has enough room for his nuts…

money coming out his wazoo – I’ll bet that’s not as bad as a….

squirrel in the butt – I guess it was the hamster’s day off.

yoga for fat boys

Yoga pants and chainz!!!

iiiiiiiiii i sweat too much – Alllllllllrighty then….

fat lady sweat – I’ll pass, thank you…

fat elvis sweating

Not what you were looking for?

80’s skate fashion for men

The good old days weren’t always good…

world’s highest fat man image – Sorry, Jerry Garcia’s never appeared on my blog.

squirrel butt problems – And why, may I ask, did you need to look this up?

Hold still while I put on this glove…

squirrel droppings when overeating – I’d guess they’re just bigger and nuttier?

massengill bacon douche sent – I guess that’s a good way to attract the guys to your welcome mat…

Someone’s looking to get porked.

squirrel unbirthing a human

beer dick picture – Yeah, I don’t think we want to see photos of that medical condition…

pictures of squirrel holding a condom – Squirrels live a life full of excitement and danger.  I can’t imagine they’re much for safe sex…

the nest throne room – You don’t want to see it…

And this was after the cleaning lady left….. in an ambulance.

mold from squirrels nest – If it doesn’t bother the squirrels, it shouldn’t bother you.

hottest girl pooping vr – This was probably not what the inventors of virtual reality had in mind when they introduced this technology…

So real, I can almost smell the excrement!

kiss me where i pee – Ewwwwwwwwwww!!!!!

butt ugly possum

Why don’t you say that to my butt ugly face?

possum pull ups – That’s either a new exercise, or a diaper for marsupials…

the best breakfast mess – Try the McDonald’s dining room just before they start serving lunch…

gungan female

Don’t act like you wouldn’t hit it…

unhung and not afraid to show – This has been Ken’s motto for years…

And people thought Barbie made girls feel inadequate…

suppository girl – If you’re gonna stick things up there, at least make them medically approved insertions…

ladies defecating – Check the VR room…

fart skunk girl animation

Happy?

enema comic – Most of my comics caused people to expel solids from the other end…

comic unicorn toilet puke – I’ll bet it’s not rainbow colored…

digger foot fungus

Sure! I’ll take you on the guided tour!

its time alyans na zare hawaiian shirt video – That dude’s the only one worth seeing in that whole Soviet catastrophe…

Hawaiian Shirt Guy deserved to be in a better band.

drinking raw eggs – Now we know why Rocky lost that fight, he had salmonella..

I’ll bet it goes well with Adrian’s bacon scented douche, yo!

toilet eating photos – No, never!  Not on The Nest!

eating cereal out of a ass – And people think eating cereal out of a toilet is nasty…

See, now this isn’t so bad at all, is it?

Oh, so much grossness!  But none of those terms won the Sandy Award for this category!  We’ll find out what search terms won this and the other categories on March 22nd, but until then, come back next Tuesday for more all-time Sandy madness!

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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13 Responses to All Time Sandy Awards – Eye Bleach!

  1. howly gooooood..this world is crazy… O))))

  2. So where’s the eye bleach? Seriously the searches are sometimes so weird they seem like jokes but I think the joke is on us – there are “unusual” minds at work out there! EEEEK!

    Pam

    • And these people probably think they’re normal! I think there’s an emergency container of eye bleach near the spread in You Know Who’s cafeteria. Be careful not to confuse it with the secret recipe tapioca…

  3. Kismet says:

    This can’t go viral because I have a bottle of hydroxychloroquine.

  4. And here I didn’t think search terms couldn’t be any weirder. 😜 Just praying none of those tossers are neighbors!

  5. Some of these are hilarious! 😀

  6. draliman says:

    There seem to be far too many sexually-orientated searches for squirrels…
    Hawaiian shirt guy would have been arrested for wearing that ensemble anywhere, let alone the USSR.

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