One More Plug…

SLIDER: Excuse me, sir, but may I ask where your leash is?

SHADOW: A highly advanced critter such as myself would never stoop so low as to wear a leash.  Just who do you take me for?

SLIDER: I mean for this…… thing you have for a pet.

SHADOW: This critter is NOT my pet…

SLIDER: A stray then?  I’ll inform the dog catcher!

SHADOW: You don’t understand, lowly public servant, this critter…

SLIDER: If this is some exotic pet then you need a permit to own it!  May I see your permit, please?

SHADOW: I’m afraid I don’t have what you desire.

SLIDER: Then I’m afraid I’ll have to issue you a citation!

SLIDER: You’re in clear violation of Shelf Ordinance #246, Section K, paragraph 666 which prohibits the possession of animals other than cats, dogs, gerbils and stuffed possums as household pets without paying a hefty licensing fee!  (Rips the paper from his book) There you are!

SLIDER: Hey, wait a minute!  That’s a legal document your pet is destroying!  That comes with a heavy fine!

SHADOW: Destroying?  I believe you mean recycling!  This service will help our government save a tree!  I’ll be sure to bring my companion by Shelf Hall tomorrow so he can dump the recycled paper on the front steps…

SLIDER: Dammit, that was the last ticket in my citation booklet!  I’ll have to get another from my office…. don’t either of you go anywhere!

SHADOW: And now in this brief moment where we flee the persecution of zany local ordinances, it is time for me to make one final plea for everyone to PLAY THE CONTEST OF WHATEVER!  Help give this critter an identity and a personality and you can win fame, fortune and maybe a tacky prize!  Time is running out, as all entries must be in BEFORE Friday March 4th!  The contest post can be found here, and if you need some inspiration, our first entry came in yesterday!  Now before that no good Shelf inspector comes back, it’s time for me to disappear!

SHADOW: Wait a minute, not you!  That’s my familiar method of exiting a scene!

SLIDER: A-ha!  You knew what was good for you and didn’t try to run away from your responsibility!

SHADOW: Sigh, With vast intelligence comes cast responsibility, after all…

SLIDER: Good!  Now that I have a fresh book of slips, I’ll rewrite that citation for having an exotic critter without a license!  And while I’m at it….

SLIDER: …and this citation is for jaywalking.  And another one for illegal advertisement of a blog contest in a public setting!  You’re also getting fined for indecent exposure… there’s innocent old ladies who don’t want to see your Pokeballs!  What else?  How about impersonating an Umbreon?

SHADOW: Impersonating an Umbreon!?!?  I’ll have you know I AM an Umbreon, sir!

SLIDER: Yeah, sure you are!  We’ll see what Nintendo’s intellectual property lawyers think of that.  I’ll also get you for littering, public intoxication… I see those red eyes!  Being a public nuisance, emitting a radioactive glow without the approval of the EPA… I may have to go fetch another booklet by the time I’m done with YOU!

Don’t let Shadow’s misfortune be in vain….. PLAY THE CONTEST OF WHATEVER before it’s too late!!!!


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
This entry was posted in Squirrel Droppings and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to One More Plug…

  1. Who knew Slider was such a bureaucrat! 👮🏻‍♂️

  2. That is a fab entry in the contest – I’m still stewing over my entry…..well, not stewing really – more like marinating my idea.


  3. draliman says:

    Mine’s up! Mine’s up! A bit more minimalist this year. Vogon-style poetry, essentially…

  4. Willow Croft says:

    I’ve been thinking…:-)

  5. Pingback: The Pandemic Looks Pretty in Pink (A Diary) – Willow Croft

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