In the United States, when an 18 year old runs amok and tears shit up, we slap them on the wrist and maybe make them pick up some litter off the side of the road. In Singapore, they beat your ass for that. And so it was that on May 5, 1994, eighteen year old American citizen Michael Fay got four strokes from the government cane for numerous acts of vandalism he committed in the foreign land the prior September. While some were horrified that another country doesn’t mess around with juvenile delinquents and their delicate sensibilities, I continue to be amazed that with our prison overcrowding and massive recidivism rates that we haven’t adopted such a swift and effective solution to criminal behavior here. You can use ass beatings as punishment for a wide variety of crimes from drug trafficking to shoplifting to thinking it’s perfectly fine to drive 80 mph on the highway as long as you’re in a legitimate hurry. To paraphrase another common saying: spare the rod, spoil the adult…
Since you can see what a model citizen all of those smacks from the “board of education” turned me into, let’s put our lessons from the school of hard knocks to use and answer Melanie’s Share Your World questions for this week, all of which come from fellow SYW players…
What constitutes a sandwich in your opinion?
Something that’s completely unappetizing because it got trapped between two slices of uncooked bread…
Are ‘strong’ and ‘tough’ in regard to character the same thing or different?
Maybe I’ve played too many turn based combat games in my life, but “strong” to me represents a person’s offensive capabilities while “tough” indicates their defensive abilities. A strong person will beat the world down, while a tough person can take what the world dishes out. Someone who is both strong and tough can be invincible…
What’s your opinion on RSVPs?
Well, to have an opinion on RSVP’s, the first thing I have to do is figure out exactly what the hell an RSVP is. That bizarre acronym has perplexed me since the first time I saw it on a birthday party invitation when I was in first grade…
RSVP stands for the French phrase “répondez s’il vous plaît” meaning “please reply.” Wouldn’t it be just a bit simpler to just say those two small words rather than pick four seemingly random letters that nobody who doesn’t speak French will understand? Before there were confusing internet acronyms that nobody could decipher, there was RSVP to confound the masses…
So now to answer the question….. fuck them! Nobody should feel obligated to respond to a damned unsolicited invitation. Most people should already know what the answer’s going to be from me….
Do you think Hell has walls?
What would you name your boat if you had one?
What will finally break the internet?
If you had to change your name, what would your new name be, and why would you choose that name?
What are some things that sound like compliments but are actually insults?
If you could know the absolute and total truth to one question, what question would you ask?
Geez Louise, this should have been saved for its own edition of Share Your World!
The Admiral’s Flagship (Another Three Stooges reference)
Evil N. Squirrel, the N stands for Nuts.
Why do possums have a bifurcated penis?
How many bloggers are trying to balance the likelihood that WordPress will hike prices against the near certainty that their computers are ready to roll over and die?
Ummmm… does this involve math?
And just who pays WordPress for their “services” anyway? I don’t pay the Crappiness Engineers for anything but domain registration…
What’s the most impressive, or oddest thing you’ve ever fixed with duct tape
I’ve used duct tape to reupholster cat clawed furniture…
Gratuitous SYW ending comic: