It’s time for The Nest to once again ruin your idealistic view of Christmas with another unholy encounter from the Shelf Critter Secret Santa exchange. Let’s see who’s next in line to make Jesus weep…
Sorry, if you came looking for Christmas cookies, the dog already ate them all.
HUNG LO: Good! Will fatten mutt up for holiday buffet. Would like to remind all my customers that Hung Lo’s almost all you can eat restaurant will be open December 25th! Make reservations now!
Yeah, I think I’d rather drink a gallon of rancid eggnog. Pick a name, there, Porky…
Wait a minute! Who put Santa’s name in this drawing!?!?
HUNG LO: You think Santa happy with only giving gifts? Hung Lo has special present that will make jolly old elf more jollier!
HUNG LO: Happy Hanukkah!
SANTA: Stop that bullshit about being Jewish or I’ll burn your fucking buffet to the ground! It’s about as annoying as that fucking Bangkok joke of yours!
HUNG LO: Please accept humble gift from Hung Lo’s personal collection.
SANTA: A book? Does it look like I have time to read anything? I spend half the year freezing my ass off making toys, and the other half sunning my buns and picking up chicks in Costa Rica! I don’t need a damned book!!!
HUNG LO: This one I think you’ll like…
SANTA: Sigh, whatever! Let’s see….. “1,001 Ways To Cook A Squirreldeer!?!?!?’
SCRAT THE RED NOSED SQUIRRELDEER: Squeeeeeeeeeallllllll!?!?!?
SANTA: Son of a bitch, this actually is a fucking great gift! A cookbook! I’ll have to give this one to the Mrs. for my big after Christmas meal! After all, I still need your scrawny ass to pull my sleigh on Christmas Eve…..
SCRAT: (whimper) squeeeeeeallllll……
Evil Squirrel's Nest 
Squirreldeer Stew……a holiday favorite!
Pam
I’m sure there’s places out in the boonies where that’s part of the feast…
Makes you wonder if Hung Lo read the book and now has decided to introduce a new critter on the menu at his almost all you can eat buffet?
I’m sure his menu already has a zoo full of critters on it, and maybe some that are unidentifiable (like Buster after meeting an 18 wheeler)…
Lol, Hung Lo must really dislike gravity.
Well, without gravity he’d be Hung Hi and I think he’d rather keep it low…
Perhaps. Maybe there’s an impediment in his stride that he’s tired of stepping on?
I keep saying all I really want is food I don’t have to cook myself…but I think I’ll skip anything Santa leaves for me.
If the Shelf’s Santa stops by your house, I wouldn’t take anything he left, including presents! We already saw what kind of gifts he leaves two years ago with those letters…
I think maybe Santa should have kept that quiet until after putting his life in the hooves of Squirreldeer Scrat…
One of these days, Big Brother Scrat might pay Santa a “visit” at his little brother’s request…