It’s the Shelf Critter Secret Santa exchange, and with these kind of gifts under the tree, even Smokey the Bear would look the other way if you chose to start a forest fire. Let’s see what nonsense we have in store for today…
And I thought you vastly superior beings didn’t believe in Christmas…
SHADOW: We don’t. However, I am contractually obligated to participate in this lowly attempt at entertainment, and even shapeshifting Umbreons such as myself can’t escape the gravitational pull of the highly paid legal professionals working for Evil Squirrel.
SHADOW: Don’t laugh. It’s the same kind of societal pressure that forces your inferior humankind into this zero sum game of forced reciprocity every December.
Uh, yeah. Since I don’t have a thesaurus handy to translate what you just said…. how about picking a name, Mr. Wise Ass…
Ooooh, this episode might be enjoyable after all….
RAINY: I heard you picked my name in the Secret Santa game! I’m so excited to get presents!
SHADOW: I have brought you the greatest gift of them all!
RAINY: Ooooooh, I hope it’s a brand new barometer! Or maybe a pair of galoshes!
SHADOW: Of course not! I’d never give something so trivial….
RAINY: Did you get me my very own cloud seeder? Oh, I might even give you a peck on the cheek for that!
SHADOW: Please refrain from such intimate suggestions, as it gives me an uncomfortable feeling inside my Pokeballs!
RAINY: Well, what did you get me! I need to know! TELL ME!!!!!!!!!
SHADOW: My dear mephitid, you will truly relish the gift I have bestowed upon you…..
SHADOW: You get the rare honor to bask in the brilliance of the most intelligent being in the entire universe!
RAINY: How wonderful! To show my appreciation for your exceptional gift, please accept my invitation for you to bask in MY brilliance….
SHADOW: My olfactory senses are overloading my enormous brain! I’m afraid I’m going to have to shut all systems down in five…. four….. three….. two……
RAINY: Maybe next time you can at least get me Pepe le Pew’s autograph, jerkface!