Tis the season for no reason, thus why we’re engaging in this pointless exercise known as the Shelf Critter Secret Santa exchange.  It’s time to witness another crime against humanity…

Rainbow Donkey.  Once upon a time, your name meant something on this blog.

RAINBOW DONKEY: Once upon a time, this blog meant something.

Ouch!  I didn’t expect something so cruel from a unicorn.  Well, draw a mane, er, name there, Pointy…

Well, I sure hope you don’t take this gift giving decision lying down!  See what I did there?  Huh, why is nobody laughing?  Oh, right, most people skip over this nonsense….

RD: Hello, I’m Rainbow Donkey, and I come bearing gifts!  Or at least, I would if I knew how to shop.  My wife could teach me, but I never have any money left after she’s done shopping…

BROTHER BEAR: Oh, Mr. Donkey!  You don’t need to spend any money on little old me!  You can bring me the gift I want most without having to spend a dime!

RD: Sorry, it’s against the unicorn code of conduct to shoplift.

BROTHER: No, you could help me stand again!  Your magic could cure my manufacturing defect!

RD: Magic?

BROTHER: Yes, unicorns do have magic, don’t they?  Or is that another lie they taught me in school?

RD: Oh, I guess I do have magic.  But….

BROTHER: Then please do it, Mr. Donkey!  Give me a Christmas miracle!!!!!

RD: OK, then.  One miracle coming up….

BROTHER: Has it taken effect yet?  I still can’t feel my legs.

RD: You’ll be fine.  Just don’t go anywhere with a mirror on the ceiling…